Something to Believe in
by pottersweetie
Summary: He nodded, shifting away from Serena slightly, a flash of Blair's thigh popping into his brain, followed by the feel of her curls between his fingers and the sound of his name, gasped from her lips.
1. Much 'I Do' About Nothing

**Something to Believe in  
By: pottersweetie**

**Author's Note:** I wrote this after the season one finale, as the prologue of a new story. Though, I'm going to leave it standing alone for now. It was written for the wonderful Blair/Dan moment that was in that episode, and how it gave hope to all the Dair fans out there. It's AU, obviously. Hope you all like it! Enjoy, Read, Review!

**WARNING:** I didn't use completely direct dialogue from the season finale, I pretty much rewrote it, but going along the same lines, with an exception or two.

* * *

"Blair."

The number that had appeared on the tiny screen was one that she didn't know, but she had answered, thinking it might be Chuck or Serena or her even her mother, calling on someone else's phone. The voice, however, sounded strangely familiar. In the split second between his saying her name, and the next thing he said, she tried to place his voice to a face or a name. Her brain filed through clients, staff, and friends of her parents, people she knew from school, tennis, or from the Yale club. She wondered if she had met the owner of this deep voice on one of her outings with Serena or Isabel. Briefly, she thought it might just be a wrong number, but she was sure that she knew the voice. _But who is it?_ she wondered.

"It's Dan."

She faltered for a minute, nearly blurting out, 'Dan who?' But then her brain clicked. Dan Humphrey. _Cabbage Patch_. Serena's (ex?) boyfriend.

Recovering, Blair sat up straighter at her vanity table, putting down her lip gloss, edging a smirk onto her face, "Well, well, well, if it isn't Cabbage Patch..."

"Yeah," he said shortly, almost wishing he hadn't called her at all. "Listen Blair-"

"And to what do I owe this _pleasure_?" she rolled her eyes a little.

Dan sighed, "I don't believe I'm actually saying this, but I need your help."

"Do you?" she worked at keeping the surprise out of her voice, trying to sound smug and condescending.

"Yeah," he paused. "It's about Sar- Georgina. And Serena."

Dan sighed, feeling desperate and confused. If anyone could help him, it was Blair. She was the one who would have all the answers, who would know everything and then some, who would be willing to plot and to sift through problems to find the revenge and the answer. Obviously he was pissed. He had been, essentially, seduced and lied to by Georgina, and he couldn't help feeling embarrassed and angry for that. How had he fallen so easily for her 'Aw shucks!' facade? How had he let this girl get between Serena and him? However it had happened, it had happened, and he wanted this girl to get what was coming to her. Blair, he knew, could help him here. When he couldn't even think straight, she would be able to clearly navigate her way around this, and think of something good and nasty. Or bad and nasty, depending on how you were looking at it.

Shaking his head, he said, "I'm pretty sure you're the only one who can help me."

"Finally realized my potential, Humphrey?" she teased.

Dan had no time for joking, or even for properly arguing right now, so he said, "Blair. I'm serious."

"Oh Humphrey, don't be such a killjoy," she said, realizing, for the first time, just how serious and agitated he sounded. "Come over, we'll work something out."

* * *

The elevator opened onto the neat, marble foyer and Dan cautiously walked in. He felt extremely self-conscious entering the penthouse without someone beside him, without an intention to find Serena, without anyone really knowing, with the purpose of talking to Blair. Glancing at the beautiful chandelier overhead and the lavish arrangement of flowers on the oak table in the center of the hall, he nervously smoothed the lap of his pant legs, second-guessing himself, wondering if he had made the right decision after all. Before he could run, or even turn around, a short, uniformed maid entered the foyer through a corridor. _Dorota_; Dan had seen her before, heard her name from Serena. His heart twisted. _Serena._ He tried to give the maid a small smile.

"You are Mr. Dan?" Dorota prompted, speaking in a stilted accent.

He nodded, "Yes, I'm looking for-"

"That's all right Dorota, I've got it from here," Blair said, appearing at the top of the landing.

The maid nodded as Blair began walking down the stairs, and then disappeared into a living room area. Dan watched, his palms going sweaty, shaking a little, as the petite, suddenly-unfamiliar, brunette descended the steps languidly. He realized just how awkward and strange this whole meeting was, and probably would be, and took a deep breath. Blair was dressed in a red shirt with white heart-shaped polka dots all over it, with a green cardigan draped over her shoulders. Dan couldn't figure out her choice of attire and he found himself trying to figure out why she would wear it at all. His history of listening to his sister or mother talk about fashion consisted of what colors and patterns matched. He wasn't an expert, but he felt like Blair was disregarding said rules. He stared at her for a moment, then almost jumped when he remembered that he wasn't there to question her style, he was there to get back at Georgina.

Blair approached him and stopped walking, nearly bouncing on her heels, allowing that smirk he knew so well to grace her lips, "Good to see you, Cabbage Patch," she said, almost mockingly.

He gave her a slight nod.

It was strange, standing in her penthouse like this, planning on plotting with her, talking to her, asking her for help. After knowing her as Serena's best friend for years, and knowing her as a vial, tyrannical bitch for months, it was as if he was placing a person to the face, the name, and the persona. In the deep crevices of his mind, Blair had never been an actual person. Like meeting someone for the first time, Blair Waldorf came hurtling into his world like a comet or a shooting star. He realized he didn't know her, had been judging her from too far; it was like he was looking at her for the first time.  
_  
There's a person behind that porcelain face_, he told himself.

Rolling her eyes at Dan's seriousness, Blair simply said, "Come on," and turned, leading him down the hall. She walked in a clipped way, the heels of her flats thudding against the tile of the corridor. But Dan's gait was distracted and cautious, and he took his time walking, his pace stalled by the sight of pictures symmetrically hung along the walls of the hall. Pictures of a young Blair and her mother, smiling, standing with a well-dressed man. Dan guessed that the man must be Blair's father. Squinting at the portrait, he wondered if he could see the secrets, the lies, the confusion and possible pain, behind Harold Waldorf's eyes; as if things like that could be captured and detected with a camera.

Because Blair's upbringing had been steeped in lessons on propriety, manners, and etiquette, she went through a few cabinets and scoured the refrigerator upon entering the kitchen. She was surprised and annoyed to find that the only real food they had in the house was a tin of caviar, canned soup, expired milk, and a box of stale Triscuits.

Dan stood hesitantly in the doorway, looking around the vast space of tile, granite, bleached paint, and stainless steel. Blair turned around, a sour look on her face, "I'd offer you something to eat, but my mom's been in Paris for the past week and the only thing we have right now is a box of Triscuits."

"That's okay," Dan shrugged. "When you're from Brooklyn you learn to go hungry for long periods of time," he mocked her, almost forgetting about Georgina and Serena.

She squinted, giving him a sarcastic 'ha ha' smirk.

He waved it off, "I'm not hungry anyway- Thanks."

"Fine. Let's go to the dining room and we'll figure this out," she walked through a swinging door, and into an elaborately decorated dining room, ready to plot and scheme.

* * *

It seemed like an interminable amount of time passed before the ringing stopped.

"Hey, it's Sarah-"

"Voicemail," Dan said quickly to Blair, who was sitting closer than she had ever been to him before, listening as best she could.

Over the course of their plotting, where Dan had, surprisingly, talked to Blair about Georgina's wedging herself into his and Serena's relationship, and how he wanted to get back at her, he had quickly grown comfortable with the femme-tyrant. It was nearly a shock to him, because he hadn't even been this comfortable with Serena after their first few dates. But, for all the hatred he had felt for Blair in the past few months, he was slowly discovering that she wasn't so bad, especially when she was so willing to help him- even if it was for her own desire to get back at Georgina as well.

Blair nodded, gesturing for him to continue, "Like we talked about."

Following the message-beep, Dan allowed the preplanned lies to fall from his lips, "Hey, it's Dan. I'm sorry about this morning, it was all pretty crazy- but, after you left Serena and I got into a huge fight and I'm not exactly sure where we stand as of now," he glanced at Blair, who was nodding and smiling slightly, satisfied. He continued, "She said a bunch of stuff that- well, I'm not sure if I can believe any of it, but I do know that I want to see you."

Blair was impressed with Dan's lying ability. She had taken him for the morally-upright boy from Brooklyn. But he was surprising her, left and right. Not only was he a born-liar, he also dressed better than she had assumed, and smelled wonderful, like a boy ought to smell- not too much cologne, but not any body odor. Because she was sitting in such a close proximity to him, she could discern that he smelled of Ivory soap and body spray.

"So-uh- call me back when you get a chance," he finished saying, and quickly hung up the phone.

Blair beamed, "Who knew you had it in you, Humphrey." she shook her head, as if she couldn't believe it. "You are a natural at lying!"

"Thanks?" Dan smirked.

"She's totally calling back," she pointed out.

He shook his head a little, "I don't know if I can do this- I'm not used to all this plotting and scheming-"

"Don't worry, virgin, I'll talk you through it," she rolled her eyes a little, as if his naivete disgusted her.

He was about to give her an acidic retort, but the phone rang. Blair's pouty smile returned, and she bounced a little in her seat.

She nodded toward the phone, "Show time."

Taking a deep breath, Dan answered the phone, "Hello?"

Georgina's calculated voice washed through the phone, and Blair leaned an inch closer to hear, "Hi. I just got your message."

"Yeah- I'm sorry about this morning," he said, thinking about the words Blair and he had already chosen for his dialogue. "It was incredibly awkward."

In response, Georgina said, "Yeah, it really was."

"Last night really changed things for me," he said, a slight inkling of truth, seeping into already ordained words. He could feel Blair looking at him, confused, but he continued, "I think I want to end things with Serena- I know I do," he said quickly. "Will you meet me?"

The silence over the phone seemed to last longer than was necessary. Blair was almost sure that Georgina had hung up. To hear a trace of a breath or a sigh, she leaned her ear closer to the phone, her head touching Dan's slightly. Neither of them moved- Neither of them cared. They waited.

Finally, her voice edged onto the phone again, "Our spot in the park, by the pond?"

Blair nodded, Dan said, "I'll see you there," and he hung up.

Clapping her hands slightly, Blair smiled and shook her head, "You amaze me, Humphrey, you really do."

"Again, thanks- I think," he smiled a little.

"All that stuff about 'last night' was genius," she pointed out coyly. "Anything you want to tell me, maybe?"

Dan glanced at her, shaking his head, nervous under her searching eyes, "Nope- Just- Just born to lie, like you said."

She nodded, sending him a glance that suggested her suspicions.

He swallowed.

"I can smell liars, you know," she said bitterly.

Dan didn't think, but he shot back, "Could you sniff out Nate and Serena when they lied to you?"

She stiffened beside him, pulling back slightly.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I don't know why I said- I'm just- I'm really on-edge right now."

Blair nodded slowly, staring at him, "You're a good liar, Dan, but you're not that good," she said. "What happened last night? Did you and Georgina have sex?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business-"

"Um, hello, I'm helping you get back at the bitch," she pointed out. "We're way past what's my business and what isn't."

Dan didn't say anything, only stared at her. Why should he tell Blair what happened between himself and Georgina? It wasn't any of her business. She would probably tell Serena, although he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with her anymore. Serena had lied to him, had allowed Georgina to get imbedded into his life- He wouldn't have done what he did with Georgina if he hadn't been dissatisfied with his situation with Serena. He shook his head.

She knew he was lying anyway, so he said, "I didn't sleep with Georgina- but it was pretty close." Before she could say anything in return, he continued, "I wasn't sure where Serena and I stood and I was angry and confused-" he cut himself off. "I just don't know."

"Why do you want to get back at Georgina then?" Blair asked.

"Because she screwed everything up for me," he shook his head, putting his phone down on the table. "I wouldn't be questioning my love for Serena if Georgina hadn't interfered."

She nodded, "Well, the bitch will get what's coming to her."

"Good," Dan said, nodding, faltering, unsure and confused. "And thank you- I appreciate this."

Blair smirked, "I'm in this for the just rewards."

He nodded again, and before he knew it, they were plunged into silence. Neither said anything. Blair gazed at Dan, but he looked down at his twitching fingers. When he felt her eyes on him, he looked up. Their eyes met, but neither said anything yet. Minutes passed, and in the silence, something shifted between them. Blair didn't know Dan very well; she knew that he was a boy from Brooklyn who smelled good, a boy who was genuinely good and actually cared about people, he was handsome and funny and smart, and she felt surprisingly and suddenly drawn to him. Dan didn't know who Blair was either, other than the problems everyone knew of: gay father, dealt with parent's rocky relationship, was betrayed by her best friend and boyfriend, and channeled all of her anger into getting back at those that had wronged her in the social hierarchy of the city they lived in; besides all of this, he knew, for some unfathomable reason, he felt an invisible pull towards her.

Blair watched as Dan's eyes lingered on her full, pink lips.

_What is happening exactly?_ she asked herself, because she wasn't sure if she understood it at all. And Dan wasn't sure why he stared at her lips, other than the fact that they looked so unbelievably inviting. His stomach dropped and he tried to think straight, but it felt like the world around him was spinning. Blair was feeling the same reaction, with her brain feeling light and delirious. She couldn't put her thoughts together properly, she was only conscious of Dan, staring hungrily at her mouth. But he knew he couldn't do what he wanted to do, he was already too deep in drama to do this too. He loved Serena, he was sure he did, and he had already screwed up with Georgina- he couldn't kiss Blair on top of it all.

Dan tried to shake himself out of his trance, saying, "Maybe we should go and meet Georgina- Don't want her to leave or anything. Do you think she'll fall for it? I mean, what if she shows up and I can't get her to the spot and she leaves? Or what if she sees her parents and runs? I don't know if I'm a good enough actor for this. Do you think this was a good idea at all?" he continued rambling, words falling over themselves to get out of his throat before he could even hold them back. He was trying to break the tension between them, but Blair was now staring at _his_ lips, and he couldn't quite comprehend what was actually going on.

"Hey, Cabbage Patch," Blair murmured deliriously. "You talk too much."

With those words they fell into silence again, and then, unconsciously, they both leaned forward, until their lips brushed against one another. Somewhere in both of their brains, they were being told to pull away, to run, but instead, the kiss deepened. No thoughts passed through Blair or Dan's minds as their mouths fell open and their bodies leaned toward one another. Dan cupped Blair's face in both his hands, relishing the feel of her soft skin against his. She reached up and ran a hand over his hair, tugging and combing it with her fingers, causing Dan to move closer to her.

It wasn't until they had to break apart for air, their breathing harsh and ragged, when they looked at each other, that they actually realized what had happened- what was happening between them. And by then, what was done, was done, and they couldn't take it back.

* * *

The ride over to Central Park was awkwardly silent. They didn't speak as they parted ways, about to execute their parts of the plan. When they met and began to walk through the park, Dan spoke to Georgina with as much patience as he could muster, but when he was near enough to the designated spot, he got straight to the point. It left a bitter taste in his mouth when he mentioned Serena, but he went through with it all the same. He didn't feign his confusion completely, but he listened to Georgina play the 'poor me' card without punching anyone. And then, when Blair appeared, all pride and manipulative grace, he marveled at how she could seem so unfazed by their kiss. Her voice was honey-smooth as she cooed and pretended to care about Georgina. And when her parents were introduced, Dan saw the fear in her eyes, and he was glad. But Blair met his gaze, and he couldn't stand it anymore, so he turned and left.

At the wedding, Dan told Serena the truth, that he had nearly slept with Georgina, but he didn't tell her about Blair. And then, when she said it was okay, that they could still be together, he told her the truth.

"Maybe I don't want to get back together."

It hurt him, to see the pain in her eyes, but it was better than if she found out later on about what he had done with Blair- and that he was sure he had feelings for her as well. He was too confused, too guilty to stay with Serena, and he knew she didn't deserve any of the confusion he would harbor if they got back together. But he danced with her, he didn't let go when they swayed for the photographer, if only to have something to match up to Blair, dancing with Chuck.

And Blair was so easily back in Chuck's arms, after a romantic speech made for her benefit, masked as words of wisdom and love for his father. She thought about Dan as she kissed Chuck, and again when she made witty banter with him. She wasn't usually so easy to forgive, but it would be simpler to date Chuck, the polar opposite of Dan, in order to forget what had happened. And she ignored the truth, through the end of the reception, when she tried to sleep that night, and again, a week later, when she packed and joked with Serena before leaving for Tuscany with Chuck. She didn't feel guilty about what had happened, because she was so easily pushing it from her mind completely, as if it didn't matter, as if it hadn't ever happened.

The summer descended upon them, and it seemed, to everyone, that the world was slowing down, so, it was easy to think, or to forget, about what had happened.  
**  
Author's Note:** Well there you go! Hope you liked it! Maybe there will be another chapter one day. Though that's it for now. Reviewing is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading it.


	2. Summer, Kind of Wonderful

**Author's Note:** Okay, I lied- again. This isn't going to be a one-shot. This story is going to give us (as in Dair fans) 'something to believe in' - hardy har. It's going to be recollections of the episodes of this season, with possible (and sometimes completely AU) Blair/Dan moments. Not everything is going to go exactly according to the episodes, but I'll try my best. Enjoy!

* * *

**Summer, Kind of Wonderful**

So, Chuck had screwed her over- as, really, was to be expected. Not only had he left her to board the helicopter alone, but he never showed up in Tuscany at all. She had latched onto Ben, the chatty Bass employee who had all but wrestled her for the jump seat, only because it was better than being alone. The duration of the ten hour flight was spent listening to him talk on and on about his time at Northeastern, about his doctor parents, about how he worshipped the ground Bart Bass walked on, about how he was terrified to be going to Italy was such an intimidating man. Blair listened and nodded, smiled and commented when necessary. She endured the time by guzzling champagne and munching on the jet's fine snacks. In the back of her mind, she was reminding herself that she might need to utilize Ben later, if Chuck did show up in Tuscany, so she had to endure.

And she did endure, but Chuck never showed up in Tuscany.

She waited for days, but he never arrived. And yes, it was a nice distraction- to focus on Chuck standing her up and being a general jackass- but not the kind she would have preferred. A cold fury seeped under her skin. Blair Waldorf did not get stood up. Blair Waldorf did not waste her time on chatty guys with bad hair for nothing. So she waited around for less than a week, and then she ran out of things to do.

The suite in Tuscany that had been booked for them was nice- but once she had spent a sufficient amount of time in it, watching Italian TV while eating spaghetti and drinking wine, she needed to get out. And so, she roped Ben into taking her to an international dinner that Bart had asked him to attend. Flattered, the young man agreed. She dressed herself up and took extra care with her make-up and hair, and then beamed when she entered the elegant banquet hall. Though everyone around her was either speaking a language other than English, or with heavy accents, she felt like she could breathe for the first time- she felt as if her thoughts were finally her own.

Because, really, she hadn't been hurt by Chuck not showing. Sure, it pissed her off because you just didn't do that sort of thing to Blair Waldorf- but really, she wasn't in love with him, so it didn't matter. It was just easier to redirect all of her attention to being angry at him, snaring Ben, plotting revenge, and wallowing over being ditched, than it was to think about what had happened, prior to her leaving.  
_  
I kissed Dan Humphrey._

It made her wince and cringe every time she thought about it. Granted, it had been a good kiss, but it was _Dan Humphrey_! It hadn't been something she had planned on, and he was from _Brooklyn_.

She tried to push it from her mind all she could, and, really, it was easy as first. Though, when she had been trapped in her suite, with Ben off at meetings and such, there had been some difficulty in keeping her thoughts from trailing to the dark-haired boy. She didn't feel guilt for what she had done to Serena- or really guilty at all- she just felt a yearning for him that she wanted to obliterate. She chose to ignore it all together. _I don't like Dan Humphrey_, she repeated to herself like a mantra. _I'm just upset because Chuck's not here_.

So, when she got the chance to leave the suite, and be distracted by an international banquet, she jumped at the opportunity.

She mingled for an hour. She charmed ambassadors from France, laughed with CEOs from South Africa, listened to the ranting of a Japanese sales associate, and endured the half-English sob-story of a Spanish countessa whose boyfriend had dumped her earlier that day. Ben was more than amazed by her charm and her ease, and she knew that easily. Her confidence swelled and bubbled over, and she flitted around the room like Audrey Hepburn circa the party scene in _Breakfast at Tiffany's_. For an hour or so more, she compared herself to Audrey, priding herself in the fact that Miss Hepburn would be proud of such a lovely young lady.

That was when Ben gently took her elbow, telling her he wanted her to meet someone.

His name was James. He had light brown hair and sparkling blue eyes. Something about him was regal and sophisticated. Just from looking at him she knew he had money- _tons_ of old money. From the way he talked and dressed, to the way he ate and looked at her- she could tell he was steeped in gobs of ancient wealth. If anyone was everything Dan Humphrey wasn't- classic, wealthy, upper crust, regal- it was, without a doubt, James. So, Blair turned her charm on without restraint. What would be better than returning to New York with James on her arm, to get back at Chuck and to illustrate how much she didn't care for Dan?

And just like that, she had James in her claws.

He went with her to France to visit her father, leaving Ben in Italy. Of course, Roman and Harold were falling over themselves in adoration for this sophisticated gentlemen and his dimpled smile. And James got along with them as well. They all joked and ate and talked together, going on excursions into town and visiting little cafes together. If Blair had any actual feelings for James, she would have been elated. Sure, she was pleased that she had this kind of ammunition under her belt, but still- he wasn't Dan Humphrey. They kissed and cuddled and held hands and made out, but really- she just tried to keep herself from comparing it to Dan.

The end of August was looming closer and closer, and Blair was both relishing her chance to bring James to the Hamptons and contemplating leaving him in Europe forever. But the former won out. No way would she return alone- not after what Chuck had done to her. And the fact that the kiss she had shared with Dan had meant nothing to her, and that she could get a guy so easily wasn't so bad either.

She only had to convince herself that she actually had feelings for someone _other_ than Dan.

* * *

The internship with Jeremiah Harris was something Dan had not exactly anticipated. He spent the majority of his time keeping the writer sober before noon, picking up after him when he did manage to get drunk and fall asleep before four in the afternoon, decoding chicken scratch notes, locating nondescript papers filled with writing of any kind, or fetching Jeremiah drinks when he was busy at signings and readings. Dan had been hoping the internship would involve more literary aspects, but he couldn't exactly complain. This was Jeremiah Harris, after all, his favorite author and literary role model. And, to be fair, he was required to write a short story and hand it in, as part of the internship- and that was literary. However, that was also the only part that he was having immense difficulty with.

For some reason, he had been unable to write since he broke up with Serena- since kissing Blair before the wedding. Sometimes he would hammer out these pitiful rhymes or a paragraph of incoherent rambling, but he couldn't produce anything that was any good. It was frustrating and physically suffocating. All he wanted to do was unleash all of his pent-up emotions and confusions through words, but he was left simmering in his own feelings.

So, he had distracted himself with girls whose names he couldn't remember. He spent every literary event meeting one girl, spending a good few minutes making out with her, trying to not think about Blair or Serena, and then promising that they would meet up later. Rarely did he follow through with the plans he made. One or two girls actually got a second encounter, and if they did, it was spent mostly making out, or talking all of two sentences. More than once, he had considered what he was doing, asking himself what the point was? What was he proving? That he didn't care about Blair- that he could kiss anyone (Blair included) and it didn't have to mean anything. But really, when he thought about it he realized that he was just proving that he had something in common with Chuck Bass. They could be sleazy, and use girls like kleenex. In that respect, Dan was slightly disgusted with himself, but, really, he didn't know what else to do.

And Harris was all but threatening him to write his short story, so he finally made an attempt to do it.

5.19.08. He had a title.

But so far, that was all he had.

* * *

There was some satisfaction in getting off the jitney with James, and kissing him in front of Chuck. But not nearly enough for Blair to be satisfied. Something in her deflated because of this, although she didn't let anyone notice. A small part of her had been relying on everything (include the thoughts she couldn't escape from and the way her world was spinning) going back to normal- or shifting wonderfully- as soon as she stepped off the jitney and gave Chuck his what-for. She waited for the contentment to set in, imagining the Bass boy's fallen expression as she gave him a sweet smile, but, nothing changed.

She sat with Serena in the sun, sipping daiquiris and talking about France and Tuscany. By some miracle, this distracted her- but only for a short time. The second they began talking about _Serena's_ summer, Blair felt her stomach flutter nervously. She tried to seem aloof and amused, as she always did when talking about girl-stuff with Serena- but really, she felt the guilt and nausea slowly setting in.

"Please, don't tell me you sat around moping all summer stuffing your face and watching _Sex and the City_ reruns," Blair sipped at her daiquiri, but it churned her stomach even more.

Serena looked amused, but sheepish, as she replied, "I'm not that vapid- I caught up on _The Office_ and did crunches every night."

Blair gave her a pointed look.

"And you and Nate?"

Serena waved her hand in disagreement, "Total rumors. We just played at it so everyone would get off my back about being sad, and Nate could do what he wanted."

"You didn't have any fun with _anyone_?" she pressed, with a sadistic hope Serena would start talking about Dan.

Serena sipped her daiquiri on her lounge chair and then said, "There was this one lifeguard but- I mean, he was such a townie," she made a face. "I turned him down."

"Why?!" Blair all but shrieked. "That would have been a perfect little rebound- nothing more!"

Shrugging, the blonde said, "I don't think I'm ready." She became slightly shy, "I still miss Dan."

The name made Blair's stomach clench and the bile rise in her throat. She swallowed hard and downed some more of her daiquiri, wishing the alcohol was more effective. It was probably the last thing she wanted to do- to talk about Dan Humphrey- but there was no way of avoiding it without Serena sensing that something was up.

So, she said, "It was pathetic enough that you dated him, S- but now you're-you're... _mourning_ him?" with acid in her voice.

Serena rolled her eyes and shook her head a little, a hint of a smile on her lips.

Just then, strolling onto the patio in a patterned shirt and loafers, was Chuck, talking on the phone about Portuguese girls and tongue-twisters, as if she cared. But, finding his appearance something like a blessing, Blair jumped on the opportunity and changed the subject- as if she wanted to make Chuck jealous or enhance her and Serena's girl talk. Diving into an explanation about how James had swept her off her feet and how he was so handsome and rich and sophisticated and amazing- without any segway for poor Serena- Blair threw herself into the act of being so in love and so happy and giddy. Serena immediately saw through it, but she didn't see the meaning behind it, only what she thought it was about (Chuck)- she played along anyway, and Blair almost hugged her. She enjoyed the volleying of comebacks and biting insults that she shared with Chuck, if only because it made her think about what he and she were saying, as opposed to her feelings for Dan. Somehow, she agreed to bring James to dinner and bragged about how much Chuck was going to love him.

She was beginning to get extremely deep in lies.

* * *

Because it was impossible for Dan to write (even a story about the day he kissed his girlfriend's best friend and then dumped his girlfriend for 'other reasons') he had to seek Harris out at the bar while he was working. As he stood on the subway, keeping his balance and staring blankly ahead, he thought about the whole situation. How much more time was Harris willing to give him, if any? Would he get a tongue-lashing because he was incapable of writing anything?

He arrived at the bar with a guilty and embarrassed lope.

"I'm sorry for interrupting you while you're working," he said as he approached Jeremiah in the dimly lit pub.

Harris looked at him with an annoyed expression, "You wouldn't be interrupting if you weren't late."

"Look, I'm sorry sir- It's just- I've been trying to work on this story for you- All I need is one more day," he said, hardly able to look at the man as he pretty much begged.

Harris shook his head, "I've given you plenty of days, Humphrey- Don't sit," the man said, just as Dan was pulling out the adjacent stool. "You won't be staying."

Dan straightened up.

"If you can't do your homework, than I don't want you working for me," the author said with finality. "You won't remember to write your story on time, I won't remember to write your letter of recommendation at all."

Feeling his heart speed up with nervousness, Dan's mouth fell open and he said, "No, that's not fair- This is very important to me, sir- It's just- this thing that happened this spring screwed me up and-"

"I don't care about your excuses, Daniel," the man shrugged. "You can leave my spare key in my mailbox," and then he turned and went back to his drink and his work.

Feeling dejected and angry, Dan shuffled to the exit of the bar and left quickly. The sticky city air was unwelcome to him, and he yanked at his collar with agitation. With immense hesitation, he descended into the labyrinthine maze of subway tunnels and found his way home. He cringed at the contact he made with sweaty people on the subway seats, and he almost rolled his eyes at everyone who was having a conversation within hearing distance. For some reason he had no patience for anything. Though he knew Jeremiah Harris's firing him had a big part in it, he knew that the majority of it had to do with the fact that he hadn't properly seen Blair Waldorf since May, he still frequently thought about kissing her, he wondered what her summer was consisting of, and he knew she was now in the Hamptons, via GossipGirl.

* * *

"So James, where is it that you come from?" Chuck asked with his typical drawl and sneer.

Blair was hardly listening as she moved the vegetables around her plate.

James replied easily, "I'm from New Haven."

Was it a surprise that she hadn't known that?

"Oh, the Shepherds had a beautiful wedding in New Haven," Chuck sighed. "Do you remember that one, Blair?"

With a lethal look in her eye, Blair gave Chuck a sweet smile. What was the purpose in going back to the drama with Serena and Nate and what they had done at that stupid wedding?

She nodded, "It was a beautiful wedding."

"Almost as beautiful as the van der Woodsen-Bass one," he smiled. Turning to James he said, "My father got married to Blair's best friend's mother."

James smiled politely and nodded, "How nice."

"Yes, I was the best man and the whole thing was just so... romantic," he said, gazing at Blair too intensely.

She wanted to gag.

Lightly she replied with: "Almost as romantic as the jet ride to Tuscany I had- I mean, it was romantic in the sense that I got to relax and watch _Sabrina_. By myself."

James looked perpetually confused between them, and Serena's grandmother had given up on even listening to them.

"Well, yes, you and Humphrey were always very exclusive," Chuck said, sarcastically- annoyed by her backlash referring to the male lead in the movie.

Blair whipped her head in his direction, "What'd you just say?" she demanded. Before he could reply, she said, "I hate Dan Humphrey."

Chuck looked at her suspiciously.

"Are you all right?" James asked, and she noticed that she was clutching the edge of the table, bunching up the tablecloth in her fist.

She let go and smiled, "Fine- Just a little- um- jet-lagged, and it's making me a little stressed."

"Do you want to lie down, maybe?" James asked.

Anything to get away from Chuck's questioning stare, and the way that he seemed to be looking right through her in the most disconcerting way. "Yes," she said, standing up delicately.

James stood and offered to walk her to the house, but she smiled and said that she could handle it. But while she walked, Chuck continued to stare, and she felt her throat constrict, and her heart race.

* * *

As Serena and Blair trolled the shops in town the next day, they ran into Chuck and Nate. Nate and Serena immediately stepped aside and began whispering strangely. Blair couldn't be concerned though, because her palms were beginning to sweat, and she was afraid she was going to drop the iced latte in her hand. She stood down under Chuck's glare though, and managed to smile as if she was unbothered.

"Where's Princeton?" asked Chuck. "Or should I ask for Humphrey?"

Blair wheeled on him slowly, "What are you talking about?"

"James?"

"James goes to Georgetown," she said, hoping her voice was steady. "And Humphrey Bogart is dead."

Chuck smirked, "You know what I was referring to. And your boy James told me yesterday about his adventures at Princeton."

"You're wrong," she replied indignantly, sipping her sweating drink. "It's all he talks about- Georgetown."

"I know he said Princeton."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "Georgetown."

"Princeton."

"Georgetown." She turned and yelled, "Serena, let's go!"

Within a minute, Serena was at her side and they were strolling down the street again. Because of her heart rate, and the slickness of her palms, Blair, however, felt as if she was escaping death.

* * *

Dan went to the Hamptons on the pretense of needing to see Serena because of his writing- because he missed her. While that wasn't the whole truth, he couldn't very well tell Jenny and his father that it was because he needed to see Blair Waldorf and discuss their pre-Georgina-throw-down-kiss. He regretted what he was doing the whole way there. He questioned his sanity multiple times and contemplated jumping off of the speeding bus. In the end, he waited it out and found his way to the van der Woodsen Hampton house- conveniently, Blair was staying there too.

Unfortunately, Serena's grandmother answered the door, and he faltered, "Hello. Uh- Is Serena here?"

"No," the woman replied with a small smile in her eyes. "She's at a party I'm late for."

Dan nodded slowly, "I see."

"Perhaps you'd like to be my date for said party," she smirked. "Unless you're against being seen with an older woman."

If Serena was at a party, and Serena's grandmother was going to the same party, odds were that Blair would be at that same party too. So Dan nodded, and allowed the older woman to dress him up in her late husband's white suit and give him some pep-talk about doing what he felt was right and not being afraid to tell Serena how he felt. He tried not to laugh- or throw up- but he was sure that if he told Serena how he felt, she'd slap him for choosing her best friend. But he put up with it, just to get into the party.

The party in question was white. The furniture and the clothes- everything was clean and pristine all around him. The only splashes of color came from Vitamin water, which was so obviously sponsoring the whole thing. The display of the whole affair made Dan's stomach turn, because it was just so completely upper crust. It made him even more nervous about seeing Blair, and Serena.

* * *

After James got the idea (the idea that was half-wrong anyway) that Blair was using him, he abandoned her at the white party. Chuck was instantly trying to touch her, but she batted him away with her elbow. She hadn't used James to hurt Chuck romantically. It had helped in getting over the fact that he had wounded her pride in general, but not because she was heartbroken. And she didn't _want_ to be using him, she wanted to truly like him, to fall for someone who was so completely _not_ Daniel Humphrey, but she wasn't sure if she was capable of it. And she was hardly listening as Chuck whispered hotly in her face, saying that she was just like him, that he hadn't been the reason she had used James, that there was something else she was hiding. She managed to hiss back at him in all her confusion and clouded thoughts.

"I'm nothing like you Chuck," she wrenched away from him. "And you have no idea what you're talking about."

Hardly faltering once in her stilettos, she hurried into the main house, to lock herself in a room, or in the bathroom, to get away from everyone. She passed Serena's grandmother in the living room, but just looked at her and kept walking. She spotted Nate and Serena in the kitchen, sipping alcohol and laughing, but she didn't join them. It was in the foyer, when she made eye contact with someone she had not been expecting, that she halted, unable to move any further.

Dan saw her too, and his breath caught in his lungs. She was looking devastating in a white dress, with her hair curled around her face. Without even considering it, feeling his courage reappear, he walked toward her, his eyes intense and serious. He saw the deer-in-the-headlights look she got, and he contemplated chasing her if she ran.

She wasn't sure why he was dressed in a charming tan and white suit, or why he was even at the white party- really, Blair wasn't sure of anything anymore. Unfortunately, she felt as if her feet were made of lead as he approached her quickly. Before she could even react, he was standing in front of her. She could smell him- and he smelled the same as he had in May- and he was touching her. His hand was on her elbow and she thought she was going to faint. How could all of this happen in the course of a few minutes? James pretty much dumping her, Chuck's comparison between herself and him, and now Dan was at the white party, in the _Hamptons_? She felt as if she was possibly going insane, like this was just one massive hallucination. Her head felt heavy, like it was clogged with too many ideas and things. All she wanted to do was scream and lash out, and if Dan wasn't careful he would be the one with the scratch-marks.

"Blair, we need to talk," Dan said close to her face, and he felt her tensing up underneath his grip.

She looked around wildly, as if expecting to be seen. Without saying anything- because she was desperate for privacy and to not be seen with him this way- she dragged him up the wide, spiral staircase and threw him into the nearest room she could get into. It was a study, with a bookcase and a desk with a computer. _Thank God_, she thought, _a bedroom would have been too awkward_. Slamming her clutch onto the desk, she wheeled on him.

With her voice slightly shrill, she shouted, "What the hell do you think you're doing here?"

"Blair-"

"Tell me you're not here to make-up with Serena," she challenged, folding her arms.

Dan shook his head, "Well, I wanted to talk to you- and to see Serena-"

"Why the fuck do you want to talk to _me_?" she demanded. "Do you have some kind of death wish? Or do you just want me thrown off the social radar for fraternizing with a Brooklynite?"

He gave her an angry look, "In case you forgot, you kissed the Brooklynite."

Before she could help it, she was across the room in a flash, with her hand stretched upward, pressed over his lips, silencing him. Dan wasn't exactly comfortable with the situation- with her being so close to him and smelling so good. Blair wasn't think about the proximity though, she was thinking about the fact that he had uttered the words she was terrified anyone would learn about, what she had been trying to convince herself had been a wonderful bad dream.

"Are you crazy, by any chance?!" she hissed up at him.

As he stared down at her, her hand over his mouth, she realized how close they were, and jumped away.

Wiping her hands on her dress she said, "You need to go," as if she was nervous.

"Blair, we can't pretend like it never happened-"

"Why not?" she asked, shrill and hysterical. "I think that's a great idea."

He shook his head, as if he had no patience for this, "We kissed, Blair. I have feelings for you-"

"Would you just shut up!" she said, throwing her hands up, because she couldn't take it anymore. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I've had all summer to think about it," he challenged.

She jumped on the 'Serena' card like her life depended on it, "But you were here to see Serena- you still have feelings for her."

"Yes, but I have stronger feelings for you!"

Blair winced, as if his words were causing her pain. And they almost were. It was wonderful, but horrible, to hear that he had feelings for her, more than he did for Serena. Because her heart was pounding deliciously, and she knew she liked him in some bizarre way too, but she couldn't- She just _couldn't_ like Dan Humphrey! She was Blair Waldorf, Queen B, things like this just weren't done, not ever.

"Why'd you kiss me then?" he asked. "If you don't have feelings for me too?"

Swallowing hard, she stared at him, not saying anything, not knowing what she _could_ say.

He nodded slowly, "Because you do have feelings for me."

She was staring at his lips before she could stop herself, and he noticed right away. Slowly, he walked over to where she was standing in front of the desk, and he saw the panic rise in her eyes, and her breath catch in her chest, he saw how much she wanted this, but how much she was fearing it too. Her heart was pounding all around her, and she felt so ready to burst with anxiety and lust that she couldn't handle it. Unconsciously, she shook her head. But when Dan reached her, he cupped her face in his hand and pulled her face to his. Their lips met quickly, hungrily, and she pressed herself up against him immediately, putting her hands around his neck. She had needed this- had wanted it all summer- and here it was, better than she had ever expected. Her brain memorized the feel of his skin underneath hers, the way he tasted and the way his lips felt against hers. She wanted to have it all saved, because who knew when they would kiss next. Her body all but sighed in pleasure as he pressed her up against the desk, with the edge biting into her back, but she didn't care, she enjoyed it when it involved Dan.

But then it hit her- This was Dan Humphrey. She couldn't like Dan, couldn't be enjoying this with him!

And almost as quickly as she had kissed him, she pulled herself away and jumped back, shaking her head swiftly.

"Blair," Dan said breathlessly.

She continued to shake her head, saying, as if in disgust, "I don't have feelings for you Dan, you're from _Brooklyn_. Just, don't talk to me anymore- Please."

He stared at her for a good minute, saw the disgust in her eyes- which was really directed at her own behavior and how everything had turned so full circle- and he felt the anger mount. He didn't need Blair. Besides, he had gone to the Hamptons to find Serena. Serena was the one he needed, the right one for him. Blair Waldorf was a bitch, and he didn't need the drama.

Shaking his head too, he exited the room quickly and pretended that he could have cared less.

Blair, however, moved across the room and sat down in a leather armchair, shaking. She waited for her heart rate to return to normal and then stared into space, considering what had just happened.

* * *

So Dan found Serena, but she was kissing Nate Archibald. They went through all the motions of being an ex-couple fighting and being jealous, but he continued to think about Blair and their second kiss in the study. Even as two girls he had been seeing threw their Vitamin water cocktails on him, he thought about how Blair would have found it amusing. He allowed Serena to take him to the kitchen so she could salvage her grandfather's suit jacket, and he rambled about his summer flings (minus Blair) and a little about how he was sorry. Then, in a lapse of silence, he thought about Blair, and he felt anger. So, he told Serena he couldn't get her out of his head all summer, which was half-true (because he was always thinking about her and feeling guilty). And then he kissed her, because she was smiling and that made him feel like he wasn't such a sleaze. But he also kissed her because he was hoping someone would see (if not Blair, then someone who would tell Blair- because he felt she deserved it).

Before he left to wait at the beach for Serena, while she said goodbye to everyone, he wondered if Blair was still in the study, but he shook his thoughts away and exited the house.

Blair actually found her way out of the study and outside into the yard again, only a half an hour after the kiss. She felt as if she was capable of functioning, now that she had had a moment to think and clear her head. And now she realized that she didn't need Dan, convinced herself that she didn't like him, and that James was the one for her. So she marched over to him as she spotted him across the grass.

"You were right," she said, and he looked amused. "I was using you."

She didn't bother to elaborate on what she had been using him for.

"I wasn't honest, and I'm sorry."

James took her hand and walked a little ways with her, "I haven't been completely honest with you either."

She tensed, waiting for whatever it was he was going to say.

"I don't go to Georgetown or Princeton- I don't go to school at all," he said, and Blair felt the horror sinking in. Was he a creep? "My name is actually Marcus Beaton, I'm British- and, a lord."

All she could manage, was: "What?"

"I didn't tell you the truth because I wanted you to like me for me, and not for my title," he shrugged lightly, his voice now distinctly accented. "I can see I'm too late."

"No," she said quickly, because 'lord' was antonymous with 'Brooklyn boy.' "I used you, but I've learned to like you. Please, Ja- Marcus, I really want to get to know you, with honesty on both ends."

He gave her a little smile and nodded.

She could most definitely learn to like a _lord_.

Later, she left with Marcus, completely unaware, that on the beach nearby, Dan was cuddling back up to Serena, and summer was ending in the same way it had begun.

Two people were avoiding their feelings for each other, and they were going about it in the wrong way again.

* * *

**Author' Note:** Oh my goodness gracious, I am sorry this chapter is humungous to the umpth degree! I know some people like that, but some people hate it, so you're welcome, and I am sorry. I wanted to get almost everything Dair with the first episode into this chapter, and then add the extra scene. Hope you liked it! Reviewing is always appreciated!


	3. Never Been Marcused

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thank you for the encouraging reviews I received for the second chapter! Hope everyone likes 'Never Been Marcused,' though quite a few things from the real episode needed to be ignored (such as certain bus hookups. It never happened according to this story. )

* * *

**Never Been Marcused**

Dan woke up beside Serena, with sand painfully coating any bit of exposed skin on his body. He didn't move from where he was laying, instead, he opened his eyes and looked up at the early morning sky above him. His arm was still wrapped around Serena's bare shoulders, and it had lost all feeling, making it dead and limp. He ignored it though, staring at the wispy clouds passing overhead.

Flashes of the previous day were popping up in his memory at rapid-fire.

Spotting Blair across the crowded foyer.

Talking angrily with her.

The look on her face as he approached her, and the feel of her body against his as he pulled her to him.

Blair's shampoo clouding his mind with roses and raspberry.

Feeling hurt and angry, disappointed and anxious, as she pulled away, telling him she didn't have feelings for him.

He winced briefly as the sound of the waves was forgotten. Was it possible that Blair didn't have any feelings for him? After they had kissed in May? she hadn't thought about him, hadn't developed any kind of feelings for him over that one kiss? Then why had she kissed him at all? And why had she kissed him again, with so much passion, in the study, when he had approached her? For fun? Well, wouldn't that be so like Blair Waldorf, he reasoned, kiss a guy without even thinking about it or feeling anything. At _least_ Dan was conscious of his feelings for her now, even if he hadn't been aware of them when they had initially kissed. At least he wasn't condemning her to some kind of unfeeling ignorance because of where she lived and who she was.

Serena roused beside him, so he pretended to be asleep. When she was fully sitting up, holding her grandfather's jacket to herself, Dan sat up as well, pretending to be still drowsy and disoriented. He turned to the blonde, and she smiled awkwardly at him. Because he didn't know what else to do, he leaned in and kissed her.

When they broke apart she was still smiling, and she said, "Morning," and giggled a little.

He smiled too- because her giggle had that effect on him- and watched as her face transformed to one of confusion, and she set about straightening the jacket and slipping it around herself.

"What?" Dan managed to ask.

She shook her head, saying, "No, I'm just... confused."

He waited for her to continue.

"Last night was amazing, but I'm just- I mean-" she cut herself off and bit her lip. "Dan, there was a reason we broke up."

Did she know about him and Blair?

Swallowing, trying to seem casual, he said, "Right."

"I just think we should talk and think about this- before we get into anything again," she looked at him, as if begging him to understand. "You get that, right?"

He nodded, "Absolutely."

Some part of him was yearning to be with Serena again- to have that somewhat safe connection to the Upper East Side. A tiny part of his heart still loved her. But, closing in fast and hard, was Blair, clouding his mind and rampaging his heart. He wanted to be with Serena though, because he knew she was a good person- he knew who she was!- and he knew he could convince himself that he had zero feelings for Blair if he was with Serena. But it wasn't unreasonable for Serena and him to think through what they could be getting themselves into- especially if they wanted to have anything even resembling a healthy relationship.

"Okay," she brightened up, gathering her scattered clothes in her arms. "I'm going to go, but I'll see you back in the city. Okay?"

He nodded, and allowed her to kiss him quickly before she got up and left.

Just as he was sighing, feeling as if he could relax for the first time in twenty-four hours, Serena called, "We'll talk."

He waved at her one last time, and then watched as she disappeared over the grassy dunes, and out of sight, leaving him sitting alone on the empty beach.

Dan's head felt so cloudy and full, and his body so tense and grimy, that he looked at the waves crashing on the shore, longing to actually be in them. Looking up and down the beach quickly, and determining that no one was out yet, he got up, stripped down to his boxers, and hurried toward the water. The morning air was unforgiving, and chilling, as the sun was barely up yet, but he continued until his toes were being licked at by the foam and water. He looked over the horizon, to the endless expanse of water and sky. Taking a deep breath, and allowing his whole body to sag and relax, he sighed, and rubbed at his eyes. He contemplated his life, wondering what was wrong with him, and what he could do to fix what he had done, if that was possible. He wondered what he wanted. Sure, he wanted to make Blair pissed- to show that he could be as unfeeling as she could, where their affair was concerned- but he wasn't that type of person. He didn't play games and manipulate, and he wasn't using Serena- because he did still have _some_ feelings for her. But, ultimately, he wanted to be with Blair, and that was impossible.

Determined to wash or freeze away the thoughts of the Upper East Side queen, Dan splashed deeper into the water, relishing the feel of the goosebumps on his body, the way his skin contracted and his brain screamed in shock. Without even contemplating it, he dove head first into the deeper waves, allowing the frigid water to encase him. And for a brief moment, he stopped thinking about Blair- but only for a _very_ brief moment.

* * *

Blair spent the whole night preceding the white party, watching _The Queen_, and reading about lords, dukes, duchesses, and royalty, on wikipedia. So during her bike ride with Marcus the following morning, she felt well-versed in all that concerned British hierarchy and governmental positions. Marcus however, didn't seem impressed by this, or even flattered that she was wasting so much of her energy on getting to know his position. He just chuckled and seemed amused. Perhaps he could tell that her heart wasn't completely in it, but she hoped not, because she _was_ trying.

"Well, I have to go back to New York City- today, actually," she said as she peered at her menu over breakfast. "Senior year is waiting."

Marcus smiled that perfect smile and said, "Then New York City is where I shall go as well."

Her heart fluttered, because he was a gorgeous man, with power and a title, and here he was, telling her that he was going to follow her to her home just so he could be with her. She was too vain to not appreciate it. He seemed to like the fact that she was genuinely smiling at him, and that she had taken his hand in hers. But his eyes clouded over, and this made her frown.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Blair," he said, retracting his hand from hers. "Might I ask you a question?"

Her heart went from fluttering, to thudding.

Blinking furiously, she tried to smile as she said, "Of course, darling, what is it?"

"Do you remember the other day- when we were having dinner with your friend Chuck?" he asked.

Swallowing dryly, she nodded brightly.

Marcus contemplated his words, and then said, "You got quite... stressed... when he mentioned Humphrey Bogart," he laughed a little.

Blair tried to smile.

"And then you said you hated someone- I forget his name, but- It was just... Could you explain that to me, maybe?" he asked.

Mercifully, the waitress approached their table just then. Marcus smiled at her, ordered a tea with milk, and some French toast. Blair absently ordered a mimosa and the fruit and yogurt platter. When the waitress left though, Marcus was staring at her expectantly. She wasn't entirely sure what to say.

"Oh, that?" she improvised, laughing easily. "I just misunderstood him and- like I said- I was on-edge from the jet-lag so I reacted strangely. It's nothing though."

Marcus didn't seem convinced, but he nodded and smiled at her.

"So, tell me about England," she said, but before he could reply, they were interrupted by one, Chuck Bass.

"Sorry to interrupt so rudely," he drawled, "but I was wondering if I might borrow Blair for a moment- It's a family issue I'm supposed to relay for her mother."

Blair didn't believe him for a second, "Chuck," she tried to smile as she spat it out. "My mother's busy with work- I'm sure you're looking for Serena."

"No, it's you," he smirked. "You don't mind, Marcus, do you?"

He shook his head, looking concerned, "Not at all. Go ahead."

Because she knew Chuck would just blurt out whatever he was going to say if she didn't leave the table, she smiled graciously at Marcus and rose. Following Chuck out of the restaurant and onto the hot sidewalk outside, she tried to keep herself from scratching out his eyes. She managed to keep her fists clenched inward, but looked at him with murder in her eyes as he turned to her outside. Her lips trembled angrily.

"What, Chuck?" she spat. "What could you _possibly_ have to tell me?"

He smirked, "I'm not stupid, Blair."

She rolled her eyes, not saying anything in response.

"I've figured out your little secret."

There was no way. It was just impossible, wasn't it?

Swallowing, she asked, "What secret?" feeling the afflictions of nervousness take over.

"I saw you disappear with Brooklyn at the white party," he said quietly, with satisfaction.

Blair felt as if she was going to throw up, "What are you talking about?" she managed to ask though.

He laughed and shook his head, "Takes a liar to know a liar, B."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Chuck," she said, forcing a laugh. "You must be hallucinating-"

"I don't care- I've mostly gotten over you this summer," he shrugged. "I can't promise you I won't hold it over you though- for whatever reasons I'd like."

Her head began to pound, and she was sure she was sweating profusely, because she felt hot all of a sudden, "Chuck, I would never be caught dead with Dan Humphrey, so- just- Keep your moronic ideas to yourself, okay?" And with that, she turned on her heel and reentered the restaurant.

"Is everything all right?" Marcus asked as she sat down to her waiting yogurt and fruit.

She smiled sweetly- all grace under pressure- saying, "Of course, Charles was just mistaken."

Marcus nodded, beginning to eat his French toast.

Ignoring her food, Blair began to gulp her mimosa furiously, dizzy, wishing she was drinking straight vodka.

* * *

The city was a welcome sight. Whether it was from the inside of the jitney for Dan, or from the comforts of a limo for Blair, it beckoned them with familiar, open arms.

After months away from home, in hotels or unfamiliar houses, in foreign countries that were sometimes too alien to be comfortable, all Blair wanted to do was breathe in the familiar scent of detergent and lilacs that mingled in the penthouse. She was even contemplating running up to Dorota and just giving her a huge hug- such was her excitement in going home. When she got there, she wanted to crash in her bed and lounge around watching crappy American TV for an hour or so. Then she wanted to troll her favorite boutiques, and just be able to walk around aimlessly in her city, sipping iced lattes and not going to Magnolia for a horribly sugary cupcake. But, since she had made up some lie about a welcome-back-to-the-city party- in order to keep Marcus from having dinner with the Duchess without her, and for her to have some way to impress him and prove herself worthy of a lord- she would have to go crazy when she got home, planning and inviting on extremely short notice. Dorota was starting everything off, but she knew she'd have to finish it all on her own if she wanted it to be perfect.

Dan, though he had only been away from the city for a day, was very glad to be back. Something about the green-green lawns and the pressed chinos of the Hamptons had made him feel nauseous, and he felt relief in returning to the bustling freedom of the city. And even though Serena had been on the jitney, sitting forward one seat and across the aisle (conveniently enough) he had managed to do some serious thinking on the ride over. His conclusion was that his feelings for Blair were purely physical- they were irrational and random, and they didn't make sense. He had history with Serena, and he knew he had feelings for her because of who she was as a person. Yes, his feelings for Blair had been outshining Serena, but now that he and the blonde were kind of back together, that would soon change. But could he even be with Serena when he had been so unfaithful, and when he felt so strongly about her best friend? No, he couldn't do that.

Marcus dropped Blair off at her building, helped the doorman get her things onto the sidewalk, and then kissed her goodbye. "Aren't you going to come up?" she asked. He told her that he had to see the Duchess and get to his family's townhouse, but that he would call her shortly. She didn't want to be clingy, so she bid him goodbye and watched as his limo pulled away. A part of her wanted to run after it screaming, because it was so much easy to forget about Dan when she was around Marcus, but instead, she picked up her things and entered the elevator.

The second the doors opened onto the foyer of the penthouse, she grabbed her bags and then dropped them onto the marble floor. Dorota entered the room with a clipboard in hand.

"How are you, Miss Bla-" she was cut off as Blair ran and threw her arms around her. "Miss Blair?" she seemed confused, but she managed to pat Blair on the back.

"I missed you Dorota," she confessed, and stepped back. "The party?" she prompted.

Glancing down at her clipboard, Dorota said, "It will be at the Hudson. I have all the information here," and she handed the clipboard over.

Blair looked down at the list of information- the flowers, the entertainment, the food, the room stationing, the guest list- and said, "This is great, Dorota! We only have a few things to work out, though."

And they set to work immediately. With Blair throwing all of her concentration into planning a party to impress a guy she was still _trying_ to like, she found her thoughts drawing back to Dan. No matter what she did, no matter how many times she changed the flower arrangements or switched the names on the list, all she could think about was Dan. The taste of his mouth lingered on her tongue, her skin burned as she thought about his hand on her shoulder blades, pulling her close to him, the desk biting into her back, the way he made her dizzy and her blood pump deliciously fast. Dorota was asking her something about inviting the mayor's cousin, but Blair couldn't think straight. The mere thought of Dan was making her breathe heavily- with desire and panic- and she was blinking furiously.

"Miss Blair?"

Snapping, Blair shouted, "Invite him if you want!" and she stood abruptly. "We'll finish this later- I need to- to shower."

Hurrying upstairs, she took a quick, freezing shower, trying to suppress all thoughts of Dan, finding it difficult, even under the icy water.

And even after she dried herself off and dressed again, she couldn't stop thinking about their rendezvous, or how much she was lusting after him now. But she didn't just want him because he made her blood rush, but because he made her feel beautiful, he made her feel confident. She relished the little things, like when he had said he had deeper feelings for her than he did for Serena, that he had been thinking about her all summer. They made her unspeakably happy, and she just wanted to feel that way again.

That's when she knew she would need to see him that day.

But she was having a party at the Hudson, so how was that possible?

A smile carved itself onto her lips as she texted Serena: _Come over to help with the party!_

She would get Dan at the party, even if she needed some lame excuse to do it.

* * *

"Blair, you don't need to do this," Serena said, referring to Blair's throwing a party in order to impress Marcus.

Blair smiled in a forced way, "Marcus has dated descendants of royalty- I don't have the credentials, so I have to prove that I can throw dignified parties for royals and government officials."

Serena rolled her eyes, "He knows your only seventeen-"

"I need to be a crown jewel!" the brunette said, wanting to be finished with the argument. She cut to the chase, "Dan likes soccer- football- right?"

Pausing with an amused smile, Serena said, "Yes?"

"Good, Marcus loves soccer-"

"Wait, you want me to invite Dan because he likes soccer?"

Blair tried to seem like she wasn't flustered, "Yes."

Serena thought about this for a moment, "Okay... This might be a good opportunity for Dan and I to talk about the breakup anyway-"

"What's to talk about?" Blair cut her off, unable to listen to her best friend talk about the guy she had kissed twice, and was trying to kiss again. "You and Dan are over and I have my old Serena again," she spouted, talking nonsense. "I think the matter is settled," she shrugged. "Now come on, there's more to get done for the party."

* * *

Dan was going to Blair's party: because Serena had asked him to; because Blair wanted him to. But she wanted him to because he liked soccer, and because he could talk to her current prey, Lord Marcus, about it. He was disgusted that he was actually going, but more disgusted that he was glad to be seeing her.

He walked onto the terrace, and was greeted by the sight of crowds of people that he didn't know.

From across the terrace, Blair spotted Dan immediately. An immense relief washed over her- because Marcus was bored, and because the sight of him just eased the tension in her body.

Without inhibition, she swept across the floor and grabbed his arm, "Dan, come meet the lord."

"Blair, this is ridiculous," he hissed under his breath, but stopped, because Serena was approaching.

They all converged together, and Lord Marcus appeared as well, "Dan, this is Lord Marcus. Marcus, this is Dan Humphrey- he just adores soccer."

Giving Blair a heavy look that no one else noticed but her, he shook hands with the lord, "Dan Humphrey?" Marcus reiterated.

She hoped he wasn't going to make the connection that this was the same guy she had all but shouted that she hated at dinner with Chuck. Quickly, she jabbered on, "Dan's a huge Chelsea fan."

"Oh, really?" Marcus seemed interested now.

And they slid into a debate over which soccer team in England was better. Blair watched with glowing admiration as Dan spoke easily with Marcus, as he made points and argued his side with noncompetitive, but good-humored ease. The two laughed and discussed the sport, and Blair felt her heart swelling with immense relief and relaxation. For the first time that day, she felt like she could breathe, and it was hard to think of Dan as anything but her knight in shining armor. Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she realized what she was thinking exactly. Dan Humphrey was _not_ a knight in shining armor- especially hers.

"Would you excuse us for a minute?" she put in quietly, and dragged Serena away without waiting for a response.

Serena seemed distracted as they walked to another part of the terrace though, and Blair looked in the direction she was staring. Chuck was walking over to her with an older, well-turned-out woman.

As he reached her, she hissed, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted you to meet my friend," he said, gesturing to the woman beside him.

"Why?" Blair questioned with a smile. "So she can warn me about the effects of too much botox?"

The woman spoke up, "Blair, is it? I'm Duchess Beaton."

Blair froze, and Dan managed to see and sense the shift in her calm from across the space.

"Duchess?" Serena reiterated.

Before Blair could even comprehend what had just happened, she sputtered, "I am so sorry, Duchess- I mean, I just thought- I didn't mean it."

"Save your breath Blair," the Duchess said, looking at the girl with malice in her eyes and a smirk on her lips. "It makes no difference whether you insult me or not. My opinion on you is set in stone."

Blair was wondering if the woman was referring to her own heart.

She continued, "The truth is- no matter what you do- Marcus is a lord, and he won't end up with a lowly Waldorf."

Blair felt as if she had just gotten smacked in the face. No one had ever used 'lowly' to describe 'Waldorf.' She felt as if the world was shifting around her, and everything was cold and hot at once. Not only had the woman just insulted her lineage and her self, she had also done it in front of Serena and Chuck- the creep who was trying to reveal her affairs with a guy from Brooklyn. The humiliation set in and her eyes burned. Her skin crawled as she felt the inner afflictions of embarrassment and shame taking hold of her. She swallowed.

"Will you excuse me for a moment?" she asked, managing to keep her voice in check.

Without waiting for a response, she left the terrace and disappeared into the empty bathroom inside. Before she could even sit down on the side of the tub, there was a knock at the door.

Miserably, she said, "There's someone in here."

"I know," came the response.

Feeling her stomach flutter with happiness and- again- relief, she slowly stood and unlocked the door. With hesitation, she opened it, and there was Dan, standing, looking sympathetic.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

She looked around her, at the toilet, the sink, and the tub. Why the hell not? Opening the door further, she allowed him inside. She closed and locked the door behind him, and sat down on the edge of the tub. He sat beside her, and their thighs were pressed against each other, but he didn't take her hand or make any move to kiss her.

Sniffing a little, feeling so pathetic that she was close to tears, Blair asked, "Are you here to tell me my attempts to impress Marcus are transparent, and that I'm a pathetic elitist who just wants his title?"

"No," Dan said, looking at his hands, folded in his lap. "I saw what happened and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

She sniffed again, "Oh."

"But I'm glad you know that you're a transparent elitist," he joked.

Smiling a little, she smacked his chest with the back of her hand, "Shut up," she said lightly, making him laugh.

"But Blair, really," he said, and she looked at him. "You don't need to do all of this to prove to the guy that you're worthy. Just be yourself."

She shook her head, realizing just how bizarre the situation was. Here she was, sitting in a bathroom, with her best friend's ex-boyfriend, who she had been trying to avoid liking, and had kissed twice, and he was giving her advice on how to get the guy she _wanted_ to like.

"I thought you had _'feelings for me?'_ Why are you telling me how to get Marcus?" she asked.

Dan shrugged, because he didn't know the answer himself, "Because if you want him then I'm not going to try to keep you from him for myself," he said. "Besides, I don't think _'we'_ are a possibility."

"Well, as much as I appreciate that, I don't think being myself will get Marcus," she shook her head again, miserably this time. "The Duchess said he'll never end up with a lowly Waldorf."

He laughed a little, "The woman showed up with Chuck, I wouldn't listen to her when you have Marcus himself- in New York City, for you."

This made sense and she smiled a little.

"Now, you should probably get back to your party," he said, standing. "You're not going to let her have the last word, are you?"

She stood as well, feeling revived and confident. She would charm the Duchess, or else prove that she wasn't going to go down without a winning battle first. Feeling wholly grateful to Dan she smiled at him. Then she leaned in and put her hand on his cheek, kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Thanks," she whispered, and left the bathroom.

Dan remained in there for a few minutes, relishing the memory of the feel of her lips against his, soft as feathers, but entirely meaningful. And he wondered why the hell he had encouraged her to get with another guy.

* * *

As soon as Dan left the bathroom, he found Serena and told her that he was leaving. He apologized for not spending more time with her, but told her that, in order for them to figure things out, they needed quite some time apart. Serena agreed, though reluctantly, and simply kissed him on the cheek before he left. And as he walked to the Waldorf penthouse to get Jenny, he realized the guilt was finally abating. That, however, didn't change the fact that he felt miserable for being so confused over Blair, and angry that he had handed her over to an unworthy British lord.

Blair was unaware that Dan had left when she approached the library door- behind which sat the room Dorota had said the Duchess was.

The brunette was glad her confidence had been renewed, because when she found Nate and the Duchess, otherwise known as Catharine, rolling around on the floor in the library, she was able to thoroughly enjoy the fruits it offered. She was in her glory when she talked sweetly to the woman- sans Nate- all but threatening her to shed a good light on the Waldorf girl where ever Marcus was concerned. And Catharine complied, as soon as Marcus stepped through the door and mentioned 'damage control.'

Then, when the young lord said girlfriend, Blair herself was pleased, but as they left the library, and she gave Catharine one more glare, she couldn't help but feel unsatisfied. It almost felt like she was empty, and her edges were frayed.

And she thought it might have something to do with the fact that her feelings for a certain boy were growing, and kissing him- even lightly- in the bathroom after he had comforted her was not diminishing said feelings.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry for another extremely ridiculous chapter, lengthwise. Hope everyone enjoyed it though! I'm trying really hard to have all of the chapters up to 'The Serena Also Rises' uploaded before the next episode of Gossip Girl airs, but I can't make any promises. Thankfully, (and unfortunately, because the previews were kick-ass) I have an extra week before the next episode. So, hopefully the next chapter will be up soon! And sorry if anyone was upset I cut a lot of Derena and Chair stuff that happened- things are going in a different direction though. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	4. The Dark Night

**Author's Note:** Didn't have as many updates as I wanted for this story- at all. I've been trying, but things have been busy. It might take a while before the chapters are up-to-date with the actual episodes. Sorry about that though. Hope you enjoy 'The Dark Night!'

* * *

**The Dark Night**

New York City was hot. The streets were humid and the pavement was sending off waves of mirages behind exhaust-stinking buses. Everyone was irritable and impatient because of it. Cab drivers showed cases of road-rage that trumped some of the worst. People avoided taking the subway because they just couldn't stand being so close to other people- especially people who were gross and sweaty from said heat. Everything was just generally unpleasant outside, and it was hard for people to breathe.

Inside the Waldorf penthouse, it was cool and comfortable- obviously- but the weather outside was still taking its affect on Blair. It made her even more antsy. And because she hadn't seen Dan since the bathroom incident at her party, she was full of a lust that was only fueled by the extremely high temperature outside. She was sure she was making herself so crazy over him, but the fact that he had been so sweet to her, and that their contact had been minimal in the bathroom, made her hungry for him. But, she was above calling Dan Humphrey for a booty-call, so she settled for Marcus.

She hungrily pulled him toward her as they entered her living room, smashing his lips against hers. Prodding his mouth impatiently, he seemed surprised and he pushed her away gently.

"Blair," he laughed a little. "I thought you wanted my help with your party."

She smiled at him, "It's just a party for the high school seniors and their parents- It can wait."

And with that, she dove in and kissed him again. He responded, but only minimally, and she found herself getting even more frustrated. Pulling at the collar of his shirt, she hoped he would get the hint and derobe, but he took her hands in his, stopping her. She ignored this though and continued to kiss him.

He stopped her again, saying, "What if we get caught?"

"So what if we do?" she said teasingly, diving in again.

But he halted her before she could reach his mouth, "No, Blair, you're not like that."

"I'm not?" she asked, a little hurt from being rejected, but also surprised.

"No," he smiled, gently stroking her cheek. "You're a delicate little flower. And you're very special to me, so I want this to be special for us."

She stared at him.

He asked, "Do you understand?"

"Yes," she said quietly, trying to smile, but she was blinking furiously, indicating that she had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

He gave her another smile, took her hand in his and said, "Come on, the tea's getting cold," and led her out of the room.

* * *

Serena asked Dan to get ice cream with her, so they could maybe take a walk and talk about their relationship and what was going to happen between them. Even though it was unbearably hot and humid outside, he agreed to do so, if only because he wanted to figure out all of his confusion with the blonde. He also wanted to be real with her- but how could he do that without telling her about his feelings for Blair, and what they had done? He wasn't sure, but he figured that he would work it out and play it by ear.

And this was how Dan found himself walking along Fifth Avenue, eating from a tiny cup of vanilla ice cream, sweating in the afternoon sun, and wishing he was in the air conditioning of a penthouse- or even a cab.

"So, we should definitely use the senior party as our coming out party," Serena declared, as Dan was just cursing himself for wearing jeans in such scorching weather.

Looking at her, he reiterated, "A coming out party?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "So, we can tell everyone we're back together."

Suddenly, Dan felt nervous and afraid, and entirely guilty. He had thought they were going to discuss whether they were really together- or whether they should just dismiss what had happened after the white party and continue with their decision to stay separate. They had broke up for a whole plethora of reasons, and that shouldn't be ignored. Serena had even been the one to be confused- the one to suggest they think about what they were doing when they woke up on the beach that morning- and now she was assuming they were back together without even talking. It didn't make sense to Dan and he knotted his eyebrows.

Shaking his head, he said, "I thought you said we should talk about everything before we started to officially date again."

"Dan," she smiled, putting a hand on his neck. It was so hot outside that the contact was very nearly unwelcome. "I know you're feeling the same things I am."

He almost laughed at that. Because she couldn't have been farther off if she had tried.

Leaning in quickly, Serena pressed her lips (among other things) against Dan, held onto him tightly, seeming entirely pleased with the situation. But Dan was feeling awkward. He was kissing her back- but only kind of- and he couldn't help but compare the feel of her body, her lips, the way she smelled, the way she kissed- all of it- to Blair. As he politely kissed the blonde back, he thought about the tiny brunette, and how they had sat side-by-side, against the tub in the Hudson. He had made her laugh, and she had batted at him playfully- they joked, as if they were at least friends- and, somehow, he had made her feel better and had restored her confidence. Because of this, Dan could only blame himself for her perfectly ideal relationship with Lord Marcus now. And these were the thoughts going through Dan's head as he kissed Serena- and he was completely aware of how messed-up that was.

Pulling away, Serena's smile faltered, and she loosened her grip on him, looking hurt, saying, "I'm guessing you don't feel the same way then." She was completely extracted from him now.

"No!" he said, grabbing her arm to prevent her from walking away. "Serena, look, I'm just- things have been a little crazy for me right now, okay-"

"Yeah," she cut him off, sounding a little annoyed, but mostly sad. "Me too."

He nodded, "And I know that. I'm sorry, but, I think we need to have a proper talk before we say that we're together again- officially." Her eyes were still downcast, so he said, "I still care about you- I always will- but, it's because I care about you that I think we should talk."

She stared at him for a moment, and then nodded slowly, "Okay. I can understand that- I think."

Dan watched her, as if waiting for her to turn around and change her mind on the subject.

Serena checked her phone absently, saying, "I have to get home and shower- I'm supposed to help Blair with the party- but I'll call you later, okay?"

He nodded, and watched her walk away.

As Dan threw his ice cream cup- only half-eaten- away, his phone buzzed in his pocket.

Taking it out, he saw that it was a text from his sister, with a link to GossipGirl's homepage. Under the link, Jenny had written: _am so happy 4 u!_ Dan froze as he clicked on the link. Of course, it was a photo of him and Serena kissing- taken only moments ago. How was it possible that GossipGirl worked so fast? that she had spies on every corner of every block in New York City?

Then, as if startled, Dan wondered, how would Blair take this piece of information?

* * *

Blair managed to focus all of her attention on planning the senior party- as opposed to focusing completely on the fact that she had received a text, showing Dan and Serena kissing on a street corner, via GossipGirl. Sure, the things she was saying to Serena were pertaining mostly to the party, and she was speaking in contrite, businesslike phrases, but, that was all she could manage without demanding to know why Serena and Dan were kissing- especially when Serena claimed they had had so many problems, and Dan claimed his feelings for Blair were more important to him than his feelings for Serena. It never once occurred to Blair that it was wrong to kiss Dan and then date Marcus, because she had never told Dan what her feelings for him were- and she did not intend to.

"Did you get the order from the caterers?"

Serena handed her the paper, looking amused but annoyed.

As Blair was busy penning some notes onto a slip of paper, Serena said, "So, your mom comes home today. Are you excited she finally gets to meet Marcus?"

Marcus! Blair could manage to talk about Marcus in a slightly amiable way.

"And see how wonderful he is? Of course," she smiled, and then turned back to her notes. Though, she continued to speak, "It's not often you find a guy who is handsome, intelligent-" this was when she told herself to veer away from sounding like she was talking about Dan- "has an appreciation for Golden Age Hollywood and is a gentlemen too," she smiled brightly again.

Serena watched her, still looking a little impatient.

Blair turned to her and said, "You know he hasn't pressured me about sex once." She almost stabbed the paper she was writing on as she said, "Not once."

"Wow," Serena said. "Sounds like you really like him."

The brunette forced herself to sound genuine as she began to write again, and said, "Yes, I do."

That was when Serena bore in again, "You see that- I'm showing an interest in your relationship." Blair's heart sped up, but she continued to write, as if Serena was distracting her. She had hoped this topic of conversation wouldn't come up if she ignored it. "Look, I know you know about me and Dan- even Dorota said she was happy for me."

"I'm happy for you," Blair said shortly, looking at the blonde again, saying this- pretty much- just to shut her up.

"Look, B," Serena said, as Blair went back to writing. "I know you don't approve of him."

Though the blonde didn't know _why_ Blair didn't approve of him, she said, "True."

"And I know he's not the twenty second lord of Westminstershire or whatever..."

"Also, true," Blair said, still not looking up. The semi-guilt and full throttle discomfort was writhing in her stomach.

Serena was even more annoyed now, "Why can't you support me if we _do_ officially get back together?" she asked.

Blair looked at Serena then, but she was silent. For a moment she contemplated telling Serena the truth. _Dan and I kind of hooked up in May, and we've kissed since then_. How could she freak out or anything- especially when she had had sex with Nate when he was still dating her? But Blair couldn't bring herself to do it. If Serena wasn't angry enough about the betrayal, she would go off about how Blair had always talked down when it came to Dan and how she had sneered at him when she called him Cabbage Patch.

So, she was stubborn, and instead, she asked, "Have you two talked about your problems?" because it was the easiest escape-route.

Serena faltered then, saying, "Well, not exactly-"

"Well, until you do talk about your problems- and if you're still together then- than I'll support you," she lied. "But until then I think you're both just being blind and stupid, and there's really no use fooling yourselves."

Just then, Blair's phone rang.

_The Duchess._

"Hello, Duchess? To what do I owe this pleasure?" she trilled

And as she heard the woman talk about Nate, and some dark-haired girl, she couldn't help but focus more on Serena getting annoyed and angry, and standing. "It seems like you have everything under control," she muttered, and walked out.

* * *

Serena called Dan twice between their ice cream run and his getting ready, but he couldn't bring himself to answer. As he dressed for Blair's party, he really tried to sift through his thoughts without getting distracted by anything or anyone. Should he try to forget about Blair, and dive into a relationship with Serena again? Or should he be fair and break up with her before he hurt her even further? He wasn't sure, and no matter how many scenarios he ran through his head, neither of them seemed entirely perfect.

He received a text from Serena just as he was putting on his jacket. It said: _Hope we can talk at the party. I'll meet you at the elevator before hand if you want to - S._

* * *

"That's too bad- you don't feel like slumming it here in the city."

Blair whirled around, away from Penelope's retreating form, to face Chuck, who was referring to her mentioning Marcus's 'begging her to go to Oxford.'

Feeling a blistering anger twisting, both hot and cold, in her stomach, she snapped, "And what's that supposed to mean?"

She had enough to deal with, without Chuck being on her tail about her affair with Dan- which she was still fervently denying.

"You'd go off to England to be with a lord? And leave poor little Humphrey here on his own?" he smirked.

Blair began to blink rapidly, grimacing, "As I've told you before, Charles, I have no association with Dan. You must have seen someone else at the white party and were mistaken."

"No, I'd know your ass anywhere."

"You're disgusting," she hissed. "Just because you're fucking hallucinating or something- doesn't mean you can be such an ass hole to me! Get some therapy and leave me the hell alone."

Still smiling sadistically, Chuck said, "You know, it's only a matter of time before you're spotted. And then all of your secrets involving _Serena's_ Brooklyn Boy will be splashed all over the city, with the help of GossipGirl."

Blair's heart leapt into her throat, and she swallowed, sincerely hoping the fear wasn't evident in her eyes.

"It's a good thing that I don't have to worry about ever being spotted with Dan Humphrey, huh?" she managed to say. "If you'll excuse me, I have a party to host," she said, trying to locate her confidence as she stomped away.

* * *

Dan and Serena were in the elevator when the power went out. It jutted to a stop around them, and they wobbled a little before righting themselves. They were encased in darkness for a moment, before the emergency power went on, and the space was lit up by a white, sickly light. Dan cursed his luck and looked around. The situation reminded him of those middle-school games that consist of questions like, 'Who would you choose to be stuck on/in a desert island/an elevator with?' Right now, with the current circumstances under their belts, Dan would have not chosen Serena. Not by a long shot.

"I guess the power went out- or something," Dan said weakly.

Serena looked over at him, "Should we wait- or..."

"I'll see if we can get someone on the phone," he gestured to the emergency phone on the wall, and then walked over to it and picked it up.

A voice immediately said, "Hello?"

"Yeah, hi, my name's Dan Humphrey," he said. "Uh- I think the elevator's stuck."

The voice replied with, "Yeah- there's a citywide black out right now. You'll have to wait until the power comes back on- hopefully soon."

"Oh, okay. Uh- thanks," and he hung up.

Serena looked at him expectantly as he took his jacket off, saying, "The guy says its a citywide blackout, so we should just wait and hope the power comes back on soon."

Against the wall, Serena looked a little annoyed. She was fidgeting, and looking like she knew something or was thinking of something, but wasn't going to say it without being prompted in some way.

"What?"

She shook her head, "It's nothing."

"No, come on, I know when you're thinking of something, so just tell me," he urged, smiling a little, to seem amiable.

She waved him away.

He pressed, "Serena."

Pausing briefly, she said, "You probably should have mentioned my name."

"What, you think that would have changed things?" he asked, feeling more than a little annoyed.

"I live in the building, that's all," she said.

Feel a little self-righteous, Dan picked up the phone again, and waited for the man to say hello. When he did, Dan said, "Hi, it's Dan Humphrey again. I just wanted to let you know that I'm stuck in the elevator with Serena van der Woodsen and she-"

The man cut him off, "We'll send someone up right away, don't worry."

"Oh," Dan said, feeling a little annoyed and surprised at the world. "Okay, thank you."

He hung up and stared at the phone for a minute.

When he turned to Serena, he told her what the man had said.

She didn't say anything in response.

He was close to prying the elevator doors open and throwing himself down the length of the shaft.

Apparently Serena could read the annoyance on his face, because she said, "What, Dan, do you want me to never say my name again?"

"I'm not getting into this now," he said, looking around him for some kind of means of escape.

"We thought we could avoid talking about last year, but it seems we can't," she was just as annoyed as he was.

That was when he began jumping up, trying to knock one of the tiles in the ceiling sideways, so he could climb up and through it. He was determined to get out of this elevator, away from the guilt and the tension building-up, away from the eventual and official breakup that he knew was coming.

"What are you doing?" Serena asked.

"Trying to find a way out of here."

She shook her head, "The man said someone was coming."

"Yeah, because someone always comes to save Serena van der Woodsen," he remarked.

The heat was too much for him to be nice- especially when he had so many confusions running through his mind.

Serena looked away from him, "That's not fair."

He jumped up and grabbed hold of the ledge that was now available in the ceiling, "Exactly."

"Fine, you know what? Life's not fair, just because it doesn't fit into the way, you, Dan Humphrey, think it should," she nearly shouted, and he could hear the impatience in her voice.

He felt like he was slipping, and he tried to get a footing on the side handrail. What Serena was saying sounded pretty accurate. If life could just fit so that he could not hurt Serena, but be with Blair without any kind of complication or drama, everything would be fine. But that wasn't possible.

"No, I never said that," Dan managed to say, even though he was straining to keep hold of the ledge.

Just then, he slipped, and he fell onto his shoulder.

Serena yelped, "Dan!" and ran toward him, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said, though his arm ached, he was out of breath, and he was sweating profusely. "I think so."

"Are you sure?" she asked, staring at him worriedly.

He nodded, "I think so."

In the gap of silence, everything instantly went to a level of tenseness that it hadn't reached before.

Without any kind of segway, Serena said, "I forgive you for Georgina."

"And I forgive you," he said, without even considering it. "But, I don't know..." he said, wanting to tell her about Blair- wondering if she'd forgive him for that.

She nodded at his unfinished statement.

"But, I can't change who I am, Dan," she said, sitting back against the wall with him, looking at him sadly.

He frowned, "Me neither," and, in a way, he felt as if he was referring to his all-too-powerful feelings for Blair. "So what happens now?" he asked, looking at her.

She was silent for a beat, before she frowned and said, "I don't really feel like talking."

"Yeah, me either," he said, and he knew it was the truth.

So they sat against the wall in silence, enduring the heat and the bleach-white light above their heads.

* * *

The heat was back, and Blair couldn't deal with it. The only thing that had kept her sane when it concerned her craving for Dan (in every aspect that was possible) was the cool and comfortable climate of the penthouse. But now that the power was off, dozens of bodies were packed into the space, and she had to hand out _candles_, she was sure she was going to go insane. That's when she spotted Marcus, and she hurried up to him, taking the back of his neck in her hand and pulling his lips towards her. When she pulled away, she leaned toward his ear and whispered, "I need you."

"Blair, everything's going fine, I don't-"

"No," she cut him off before his ignorance could annoy her. "I need you."

He saw the hunger in her eyes, but he still looked confused.

If she couldn't have Dan, she might as well have Marcus, so she stared at him meaningfully, saying, "Meet me in my bedroom."

He nodded dazedly, and she hurried away from him, and up the stairs.

In the darkness of her bedroom, Blair lit a single candle and sat on her bed. Thoughts were buzzing around her head, and she couldn't stop them. What would Dan think if he knew she was about to have sex with Marcus? Would he be hurt? She tried to convince herself that she didn't care, but it was difficult. After he had helped her at the Hudson party, and all the feelings that he had stirred up during their tryst at the white party- it was hard for her think of anything but Dan when she was so close to being with someone else. These feelings- this need for someone's intimacy and love- all stemmed from her not being able to be with Dan- from not being able to even speak to him or touch him between the times she did manage to see him. She was sure he and Serena hadn't even arrived before the lights went out.

Someone stepped into her doorway, and she turned slightly, "Marcus?"

"Blow out your candle," replied the accented voice.

She did so, shaking slightly and feeling a nervous excitement mount as he walked around her bed and met her by its side. In the pitch blackness of her room, she couldn't see his face, but then she figured, that was probably better. He leaned in and kissed her, all hot lips and quick hands. This wasn't what she had expected of Marcus- she had expected gentle and slow- but she could deal with this. The way he was pulling her towards him, kissing her from neck to lips, was familiar, and she fell into the rhythm quickly. Pretty soon, all these pent-up lusts for Dan would be forgotten. All of those feelings would be replaced by intense feelings for Marcus.

It was a good few minutes of kissing and grabbing, before the lights came on around them. But Blair didn't care, she continued to kiss Marcus and hope for the best.

"Blair?"

Pulling away from Marcus, she turned to see _Marcus_, standing in the doorway, looking horrified.

Feeling as if her world was splitting, Blair turned to see- _CHUCK?!_ She pushed him away harshly, disgusted by the smug smile on his lips.

Marcus looked as if he was ready to scream, so she said, "Oh my God! N-No you don't understand!" she hurried up to him. "He had an accent!"

"Oh please, you knew exactly who it was," Chuck said slyly.

She wanted to punch him across the face, because she _hadn't_ know who it was.

And just like that, Marcus was striding over to Chuck, pulling back, and punching him across the face just like she had wanted to.

This startled Blair so much though, that she shouted, "Marcus!"

And then, as he hurried out of the room, she followed him, until she managed to stop him on the stairs.

He wheeled around, asking, "Did you really not know it was him?"

"I didn't!" she all but pleaded with him. "You have to understand that."

"How can I believe you?" he asked, looking disgusted.

She shook her head, "I was just so glad that you were finally _showing_ me that you wanted me- that I didn't think about the idea of it being anyone else."

He stared at her, whispering, "What?"

"I'm not some delicate little flower," she said impatiently. "Show me that you want me!"

And he dove in for a furious kiss. With his lips against hers, she didn't think about the fact that Chuck had forced himself against her- even though he knew about the fact that she was having a semi-affair with Dan. She ignored the fact that she had almost slept with the perverted manipulator because of her feelings for said Brooklyn Boy. Instead, she focused on Marcus, hoping that, now, everything would finally be right for her.

* * *

"When I step out of this elevator, it's over," Serena said quietly, sadly.

Dan nodded slowly, trying to digest this fact completely, "I think it already was over- it just took us this long to realize it."

"I'm scared," she whispered.

He almost hugged her, because he did still care for her and he felt bad. "I know," he said, "I'm sorry."

She nodded with a sad smile, leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. When she pulled away, she stepped out of the elevator. When she turned around, they stared at one another, their eyes full of things that needed to be said, but just couldn't for fear of the hurt that would follow. Serena looked as if she was going to cry, and Dan felt as if this was all his fault. If he hadn't kissed Blair in May, would he and Serena have broken up? Would they be breaking up again now? But he was glad he was aware of his feelings for Blair, no matter what kind of dysfunction they caused him.

With one pitiful wave from Serena, he waved back, and the door closed between them, separating them from one another.

And just like, it really was over.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Eeeeeek! Sorry it's taking so long to get these chapters up! I'm trying to juggle my other stories, my original writings, my commentaries, my schoolwork, and something of a social life, so I apologize profusely! Hope everyone liked 'The Dark Night!' Sorry there was so minimal Dan/Blair, but it had to happen. Next one will be chock full of interaction, since we have the Amanda nonsense and whatnot. Thanks for reading, reviewing is always appreciated!


	5. The ExFiles

**Author's Note:** I appreciate the encouraging reviews, and to those who don't like the way Dan isn't a 'better person than Nate' and Blair's less than brilliant in this story, sorry? Nobody's perfect (and I'm talking about the characters here). Sorry the story took so long to update- school, other stories, social life, relaxing, I'm juggling it all. Hope everyone likes 'The Ex-Files.' Enjoy!

* * *

**The Ex-Files**

Blair deflected all thought or feeling on _anything_, by working more carefully on rifling through the undesirables and possibilities of the incoming freshmen girls than she ever had before. It was so much easier to cross out candidates because of shoes, hairstyle, lineage, or importance- to focus all of her attention on broadening the appeal of her group and weeding out the detrimentals- than it was to think about Dan and Serena not showing up at the senior/parent party at all the night of the black out. It was also easier to be critical when it came to innocent freshmen, than it was to deal with the fact that, after everything, she just really didn't like Marcus... Though she wouldn't admit that to anyone, least of all herself.

"I have something that might be of interest to you," Chuck said, sidling up to her with a brown folder. "Transfer student."

She narrowed her eyes at him as Penelope took the folder, handing it over to Blair as a buffer, saying, "I'm sure anyone you can offer me is hopeless."

"You might want to take a look before you say that-"

"Chuck, I'm in no mood for you this morning," she snapped, causing a few of the girls to jump. "You know very well that I hate you and you know very well why."

He only smirked at her.

Figuring that it would probably be best for her to leave, Blair stood, adjusting her bag on her shoulder, "Fine, don't go- I have to find Serena anyway," and she stalked away before any of the girls could collect the folders and follow her.

People automatically moved out of her way as she crossed the front lot and ascended the stairs, and she smiled inwardly. _I've still got it_, she reminded herself. _And I'm not going to let Dan Humphrey ruin that_. She questioned why she was even thinking about him, or how he could ruin that and shook her thoughts away. All she needed to do now was find Serena, and they could talk about mindless things- like, 'What is Penelope wearing today?' or 'Trissa has that new bag I've been waiting for at Barney's for a month!'- and she'd stop thinking about the Brooklyn boy. But, as she entered under the archway of the girl's hallway, she nearly bumped into the someone she was trying to avoid.

"Oh," Dan said, as he realized he was blocking Blair's path, and she his. "Sorry."

She didn't say anything, only smirked at him, keeping her composure intact. But they were so close that she could smell his bodywash- _Not here, Blair! You're in school- your domain!  
_  
With some difficulty, she stepped around him and into the girl's hallway, vaguely wondering why he had been there in the first place- to talk to Serena?!- leaving a very confused and hurt Dan Humphrey in her wake.

She finally managed to find Serena exiting the girl's bathroom, and she pounced on the girl as if she were her last chance at survival.

"I've been looking for you everywhere!" she trilled, and they fell into step beside each other.

Serena sighed, "I've been hiding in there all morning."

"In the bathroom?" Blair was disgusted. "Why?"

With just one pointed look from the blonde, she understood why. And just like always, her heart sped up and the guilt curdled in her stomach.

"S, please, breakups are easy- it's having to see them date someone else, that's hard," she said, knowing that if she ignored all talk of Dan completely, Serena would be suspicious.

Serena gave her a look that suggested she had no idea what she was talking about.

Blair continued, sparking a plan in her mind, "It's all a game- and the winner is whoever dates someone new first." If Serena was busy with a new guy, maybe she wouldn't be so angry by the idea of Dan and Blair, but- _what am I thinking?_ Blair wondered. _I don't want to be with him! And it would never be okay!_ "You're already a winner by default."

"And why's that?" Serena asked, slightly amused.

"Because," Blair paused. "You're up against Dan Humphrey."

It almost hurt to say his name- in an embarrassed, anxious kind of way- but she managed.

* * *

Dan had been bumping into people all day. He chalked it up to the fact that he felt so disoriented- being back at school, having officially broken up with Serena, still thinking about Blair in a way that he was trying to avoid- and tried to get on with his day. But he walked right into the brunette with the blunt bangs, scattering her books everywhere, and he realized that his day was just getting better and better. His heart had sped up as he had kneeled to gather her books, because, for a moment, he had seen brown hair and his body had gone into panic mode, thinking it was Blair. But once he got a good look at her shoes- slightly Williamsberg, with a touch of glamour- while he grabbed her books, and he relaxed.

He handed her books back to her and she thanked him, offering him her hand and saying, "My name's Amanda. I just transferred in."

Giving her a polite smile, he adjusted the book-bag on his arm and said, "I'm Dan... And I just assaulted you. Welcome."

She stared at him appreciatively and he felt a little uncomfortable, so he tried to make small talk. He knew the cover of the book she had in her arms, so he commented on it, "You're reading Harris's new stuff?"

"You've read him?" she asked, her voice sounding like a small child's, only eerily mature.

He nodded, "I've read him, listened to him- picked him up off the floor at nine a.m."

She stared at him questioningly.

"I interned for him this summer," he elaborated.

Amanda flew into a series of questions about said internship- questions that sounded slightly rehearsed, but mostly endearing- and he answered them. After a few minutes, Dan realized that she was actually sort of a cute, and she had this aura about her that reminded him of a lost dear, so he talked to her and joked with her- he even offered to sit with her at lunch since she was new.

She readily agreed to it, but he didn't question that.

* * *

Blair and Serena walked into the courtyard and stopped short just outside the door. Only a few yards away from them, oblivious to their presence, was Dan, standing and talking over an open book with a brown-haired girl neither of them knew.

Jealousy kicked into Blair's brain full throttle, and her heart sped up with it. She pressed her tongue into the back of her teeth almost painfully, subtly shaking her head. _What the fuck is this?_ she wondered. _What about all of that shit at the white party about his feelings for me?_ She clearly forgot about the fact that she was _dating_ someone else, despite her actions towards Dan, and that she had no reign over him whatsoever. But, that didn't matter to Blair. Instead, she was following her knee-jerk reaction. Plot a way to break this girl and get him away from Dan.

Remembering herself for a moment, Blair looked over at Serena.

The blonde was shaking her head too, looking almost amused at the fact that Dan even dared to talk to another girl so soon.

"He's not serious," Blair said absently, when she had turned back to look at the two, laughing over the book as Dan turned to another page.

Serena shook her head and looked away from them, "Whatever- I-"

"Don't shrug this off, Serena," Blair said passionately. "You have to fight back!"

"Blair-"

She cut her off, "Trust me," and with that she turned away and headed back down the hall- looking for her army and the folder that contained the information on this new girl.

* * *

During their free, the girls looked over Blair's shoulder as she peered at _Amanda_'s file.

Her stomach was filling up with anger that rolled the acids around, and she had to swallow hard to keep her breakfast down. Outwardly, she was cool- amused and snide. She pretended like all of her interest in this girl, and all of her plans for investigation and breaking-up, stemmed from Serena's connection to Dan. It wasn't like anyone was going to question why she cared when they thought she was being a loyal friend- albeit, a vengeful one.

_This girl is Dan with boobs._

It was true! and that's what scared her. She didn't want him to get connected to some girl because she was his perfect counterpart- not when he had just gotten detached from Serena.

As she told Min to move the folder to the front of the pile, she tried to swallow past all of her anger and confusion. She was pissed at Serena for not caring more, for playing the self-righteous card and not being more angry _with_ her. But, she was also grateful, because it gave her the false hope that Serena was over Dan and didn't care that he was taking some kind of interest in other girls. Aside from Serena's reaction though, Blair was nearly spitting fire at the idea that Dan was talking to some literary skank, when he had kissed her at the white party and so successfully comforted her at the Hudson party. She knew this was jealousy, and she knew that she had feelings for him- that much was obvious- but she was trying so hard to hide and suppress these things- that she was trying to fight against her own will. _Break them up and bring her down! But **don't**, because you're not supposed to care!  
_  
Her subconscious won out, and she knew that she was too determined to break them up to stop now.

"So what, he was talking to someone," Serena said, and Blair could hear the deeper hurt in her voice, even if she _was_ smiling. "It's not that big of a deal."

The bell sounded and Serena pulled all of her books toward her, standing.

"I'm fine," she tried to say brightly, and walked away.

Behind her, Penelope and Kati were amusedly mumbling about how Serena was 'so' not fine.

Handing the folder over to Penelope, Blair said, "Call it personal interest," and stood, leaving her passe in the courtyard while she made her way across the courtyard, toward her French class.

Though, it really wasn't commendable behavior, seeking revenge and manipulating was always how Blair reacted to things- it was one of the only ways she could gain control. And while it was still a tricky business to split people up and take people down, she strongly wished she was doing _this_ as an act of loyalty toward Serena, as opposed to what it really was. But she knew it was more than that. She knew her knees still quaked and her heart sped up when she thought about that afternoon in May, when she and Dan had plotted against Georgina together. And she knew the events of the white party still made her feel uncomfortably warm and considerably weak. But the way Dan had comforted her in bathroom at the Hudson party, when the Duchess had called her out on her attempts to impress Marcus and had defiled the name of _Waldorf_- his words and his actions then were what was making her ruin Amanda now. It was because he had done the stupid thing and made the relationship more than physical attraction. He cared, and he had made _her_ care, and then he had hurt her by so quickly talking to this girl- though she wouldn't admit the fact that she cared or was hurt- and that was what made it a necessity for _Amanda and Dan_ to never happen. Her last sliver of sanity was riding on this, and she couldn't back down now.

As she passed by the boys' line of lockers on her way to the language hallway, she saw Dan. He wasn't aware that she was close by, because he was walking and looking at a piece of paper, so she deliberately walked in his way.

"Sor-" Dan cut himself off when he looked up and realized that he was looking into Blair's eyes.

The thing that made him cut himself off was the fact that Blair had a murderous look on her face.

People were running toward class around them, hurrying and scrambling toward their classrooms, with only a minute to spare before the bell rang. But Dan and Blair stayed rooted to their spots, staring into one another's eyes- Blair's alight with a fiery anger, and Dan's with fear and confusion.

"Wha..." he trailed off, cursing himself for sounding so incoherent.

Blair managed to smirk as the hall emptied around them, saying, "Do you think it's smart to be hooking up with Amanda so quickly after breaking up with Serena?"

_Make this about Serena, make this about Serena..._

Realization dawned on Dan and his mouth fell open as he said, "Oh. Is that was this is about?"

She stared at him challengingly.

"First of all I'm not hooking up with her, we're just sitting together at lunch because she's new," he said. "Second of all, don't pretend like this is about Serena, Blair- because you know it's about you and me." This made her look around the hallway, just to reassure that no one had heard him. "And third of all, if I remember correctly, you're still with a certain lord, so I have nothing to atone for."

The bell blared loudly around them.

Blair shook her head, defending herself, "I didn't _claim_ to have certain feelings for you and then turn around and get obsessed with some lit slut from Vermont."

"What?" he asked, trying to figure her out. "Blair-"

"No! It's not the same!"

He shook his head, as if he had no patience for this, "So you don't have feelings for me? Is that what you're saying?"

This made Blair freeze.

After a long beat of silence, Dan said, "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"I-"

"Where are you two supposed to be?" one of the hall-monitoring-teachers demanded. When they didn't answer he barked, "Get to class or I'll write you up with cutting class."

Dan gave Blair a meaningful look, but then walked around her and made his way toward his own class. Blair remained standing where she was for a moment longer, before walking in a daze toward French, where she talked her way out of a detention slip for being tardy.

* * *

Dan met Vanessa during lunch, because Amanda had ditched him to have lunch with Blair and her passe- this was something he couldn't fathom and he tried not to think about it at all. But he knew Blair was behind it, so that was hard to do.

When he saw the picture of Lord Marcus and Duchess Beaton in a heated embrace though, his first thought was: _Poor Blair._

"What are you going to do?" he asked Vanessa. "Are you going to tell Nate?"

She shook her head, looking entirely lost, "I can't- He'd freak out."

"Reasonably so," Dan said, managing to be slightly amusing.

Vanessa gave him a berating look before saying, "And I can't confront Catharine or she'll tell the cops about Nate's dad."

He couldn't help but note how tortured she sounded as she talked about it.

"How can I use this to get Nate off the hook?" she asked. "I mean, what can I do?"

Blair will probably be the _only_ one that could help.

He knew it would hurt her to see it, but he knew she needed to. Even if Vanessa didn't show her the picture, then he would tell her, because she just had to know. It was only fair that she knew the truth.

"You're not going to like it but... Blair," he said.

"Blair?" Vanessa looked shocked. "I can't trust Blair with this."

He shrugged, feeling entirely torn by the whole predicament, "She'll know what to do. She helped me figure everything out with Georgina and means of revenge last year, she'll know what to do with this," he told her. "And she'll be plenty motivated to do it," he added grimly.

"So I have to show this to Blair?" she clarified.

Dan nodded, "I'd probably wear protective padding when you do it, but yeah," he said, almost sadly.

Vanessa looked at her phone thoughtfully.

"Look, V, I gotta go," he got up, grabbing his blazer off the back of his chair. "There's this thing with- the girls at school..." he censored himself from saying 'problem with Blair.'

"Everything okay?" she looked confused.

He thought about it, "Yeah, well, we'll see," and he left.

* * *

So Serena wanted to be in competition. Fine. If she was going to interpret everything in the wrong way, then he was going to live his life the way he wanted to. And tonight, that involved not thinking about Blair or Serena, and going out to dinner with Amanda, so they could talk about books they'd read and authors they liked. Not once would he think about Blair's finding out about Lord Marcus and his stepmother. Not once would he compare Amanda's dull brown hair to the way Blair's seemed to have so many different tones in it that it sparkled when she moved. He wouldn't worry about the drama of the Upper East Side or the wrath that would be unleashed if he was spotted actually going out with another girl. He wouldn't think about any of it. Or, at least he was going to try.

* * *

"Who else has seen this?" Blair snapped.

Vanessa jumped slightly, "Dan- just Dan."

This seemed almost as bad as the whole Upper East Side seeing the picture of Lord Marcus and the Duchess making out.

The tears were pooling in her eyes, and the snot was clotting in her nose before she could even think to stop it. And it wasn't because she even liked Marcus, but it was because he had screwed her over so heinously. She was sick of being lied to, of being screwed over and betrayed by almost everyone she knew and thought she could trust.

She sent the photo to her phone from Vanessa's and looked up.

"If you or Dan so much as breathe a word of this to anyone, you'll be sorry," she threatened. "Do you understand me?"

Vanessa shook her head, "I just want to help Nate. I don't want him or anyone else finding out about this."

Blair stood and handed Vanessa's phone back to her, saying, "Good. I'll take care of it."

Vanessa pleaded, "I'm trusting you, Blair."

"Like you have a choice," she shot back.

With one last lingering look, Vanessa turned and left the penthouse. And as soon as she was in the elevator and on her way home, Blair slumped onto the couch. All she wanted was to have someone to trust- someone who she knew would never, ever, hurt her- intentionally or otherwise. Her whole life had been filled with disappointments and betrayals. People apologized, but no matter how profusely they did it, the pain was still there. And then everyone wondered why she was such a bitch, why she manipulated, why she made herself throw up, why she had to have that sense of control. Because, if she didn't reign in that control, she didn't know what everyone would do- what everyone was capable of at any given time. It hurt, and she didn't know what to do.

She allowed the tears to slip out of her eyes as she laid down on the couch, curling up into herself.

Her mother wasn't home, Dorota was visiting her sister in Queens, and she had never felt so alone.

Feeling as if she had no other choice, she picked up her phone from the coffee table, looked through her phone book, found his name, and hit send.

* * *

"Dan?"

The sound of her voice, and the way she said his name- as if he was all she had, as if she was clinging to those three letters because her life depended on it- made Dan stop in his tracks on the sidewalk outside of their school, his phone pressed against his ear.

He cautiously said, "Blair?"

"Where are you?" she asked, the words coming out quickly and desperately.

"I just left school- I had to meet with my English teacher," he cut himself off before revealing anymore unnecessary information that was pointless.

Then realization snapped into place.

She had found out about Marcus.

"Can you come over?" she whispered.

He didn't even contemplate it, "I'll be right there," he turned around, away from where he was headed toward the bus stop, and began the short trek toward Blair's building. "Do you want to stay on the phone until I get there?"

The sweetness and caring in his voice made her chest ache, and she squeezed her eyes shut, allowing the tears to seep out of the corners as she whispered, "Please."

There was silence between them as he crossed an intersection, walking quickly, his bookbag thumping against his leg.

He said, "Vanessa talked to you." It wasn't a question as much as it was a statement.

Blair didn't respond, but he took it as confirmation.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, dodging an angry delivery man on a bike.

She gave him no words.

* * *

When Dan walked into the Waldorf living room, he found Blair curled up on the couch, silently crying, her face red and her eyes swollen. She didn't have the energy or the will to get up and make it seem like she was okay. Besides, Dan knew she was crying and he knew that she was hurt. The damage was done.

"Blair," he let the name fall from his lips as she looked at him miserably from where she lay.

She didn't say anything.

Silently, he put his bag and his blazer down on the floor, and crossed the space between them. He gently urged her into a sitting position, then sat down beside her. When they were seated next to each other, he leaned her against himself, and she sank against his body, sobbing silently, her body shaking and her eyes running with water. He put his arm around her and hugged her to him, rubbing her bare arms and whispering soft words into her hair. It was such an intimate moment- but in the purest, deepest way- and neither of them even comprehended that. Both of them thought of the now, of the fact that Blair was hurting and Dan was comforting. He didn't know that she was upset- not just because of Marcus, but because of everything and everyone- but he didn't need to know, he was there for her anyway. And Blair didn't even think about the fact that this was Dan Humphrey comforting her, she just cuddled herself against him- absorbing the comfort, because it was she wanted, and it was who she wanted it from.

They sat in near silence like that- Blair crying and Dan whispering to her- for some time, and nothing else mattered. All they focused on was now, being together and needing each other- and the rest, they could deal with afterword.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Aw geez. It's a pity party and I love it! Thanks, everyone, for reading, and I'm sorry it took so long to update! I have some ideas for 'The Serena Also Rises' that I'm reeeeeeeally excited for, so hopefully the chapter will be up sooner than this one was! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	6. The Serena Also Rises

**Author's Note:** Thank you-thank you for the reviews! Really, you guys can't understand how much they mean to me! I'm sorry the chapters still aren't matched up to the episodes yet, but I'm trying- though, I'm not sure if it'll ever be possible for them to be completely synchronized. Anyway, here is 'The Serena Also Rises'- the episode in which I realized my full dislike for Serena and decided that Blair is my bitch- any day. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

**The Serena Also Rises**

According to Shapiro, Dan needed to get outside of his comfort zone so his writing wouldn't be so boring for the old men holding power at Yale. There was no way for the literary genius to know that Dan was so far out of his comfort zone- what with secretly liking Blair, and having covert phone conversations with her every night- so he just told the man he understood his instructions, and left. He couldn't write about what was going on with Blair, because that was just too private- he relished it so much that he couldn't bear to share it, for fear it would disappear into reality- so he would have to think of another way to approach his danger zone.

And, really, Blair Waldorf wasn't within his danger zone anymore.

The day she had called him and asked him to come over, when she had cried against him, allowing him to see the vulnerability that he was sure neither Chuck nor Nate had ever seen- that was when she had lost all remnants of danger. And after that, after he had gone out with Amanda and fought with Serena at a place he would never have gone into on his own, he was still worrying- in the back of his mind- that Blair would never speak to him because of how close they had gotten in such a short time. As he was laying in bed that night though, trying to focus on a new book, his phone rang.

"Hello?" he had answered, the moment he saw her name on the screen.

Her voice was almost meek as she said, "Hi."

"Hi."

There was silence between them.

"Are you all right?" he prompted.

She replied with, "Yeah- I-" she cleared her throat. "I just wanted to talk."

So they had talked all night, about TV, movies, the weather, teachers, the city- but never anything too serious or heavy, like Serena (the big pink elephant in the middle of the room) or their real lives- until Blair had finally fallen asleep during Dan's explaining a piece of _Macbeth_. He had smiled to himself when she didn't answer though- when he had realized she wasn't ignoring him, but that she was asleep- and had hung up the phone, glad he could help her. Even if it meant talking with her nonsensically so she could manage to drift off before bed.

So, no, Blair wasn't scary enough to liven up his writing for Shapiro.

He tried to think through his problem as he made his way toward the subway stop, absently rubbing his jaw.

Who was he scared of? Who made him feel uncomfortable?

It was when he made it onto the subway platform- that it hit him like a breath of exhaust emitted from a passing bus.

Chuck Bass.

* * *

Blair's life was splitting into two halves: Dan-Blair and Everyone-Else-Blair.

She spent her day ignoring the fact that Dan was a part of her life, focusing on the problem of Serena stealing the girls from school and Chuck being a creeper instead. All of school, she was able to worry about irregular French verbs, pre-calculus, Yale admission work, and the drama of her social life. When she got home, she went through the routine of doing her homework, tap-dancing around her mother, working out, and then shutting everyone else away. That was when Dan-Blair came out. She changed into her nightgown, put on an Audrey movie, slipped into bed and grabbed her phone off the night stand. Within a minute or two, she was talking to Dan, ignoring every other bit of her life for him. And she didn't know if she was in love with him. She just knew that he comforted her, and that she was comfortable _with_ him. He didn't judge her anymore, or make any accusations or assumptions. She just felt safer and happier talking to him than anyone else, so that's what she did.

And so what if it was secret, and slightly twisted in that respect? All that mattered was that it was addictive, and she couldn't get enough.

Right now though, Blair was in Everyone-Else-Blair mode, and she was _so_ longing for Dan-Blair.

She watched in horror as the girls held out the magazine for Serena to lean over and look, a smile tracing itself over her lips.

"I didn't even see that," she said.

_My ass,_ Blair rolled her eyes.

The girls all had their tickets to her mother's show- second row, for God's sakes- and she wasn't going to take them away now. That would be childish. But, she couldn't deal with watching Serena being all modest and holier-than-thou anymore for her new fan club, so Blair rose and turned away.

"B, where are you going?"

She turned only slightly, then said, low enough for none of the girls to catch over their chatter, "I'll just leave you to your fans."

And she walked away.

Chuck stood in her path before she could get inside, saying, "Watching you fail spectacularly gives me so much joy."

"And you know what you give to everyone, Chuck?" she snapped back tiredly. "Misery. There's a reason you're always out here alone."

He looked annoyed, but said, "You mean like that loner Dan Humphrey?"

She tensed up, staring at him with pursed lips.

"Yes, did you know that I sent Amanda to him as a gift?" he asked, purring with satisfaction.

She narrowed her eyes at him, "What are you talking about?"

"I paid her to ruffle Humphrey's feathers- just to see how you would react," he confessed. "Looks like my experiment proved successful."

"I-"

"You went straight to bringing her down and breaking them up-"

"For Serena!" she almost shouted.

He smirked, "Whatever you say." He looked over at the girls sitting on the steps, fawning over Serena, "It had better benefits than I thought."

She glanced at the girls and said, "I'm still Queen B, Chuck- Nothing's changed."

"Whatever you say," he shrugged, looking at her too closely.

She shook her head in disgust, saying, "Even Dan has more friends than you do, scum," and she pushed her way past him and into the building.

* * *

Blair was able to vent her frustrations to Dorota after school. She yelled at the woman- about the girls- in hysterical phrases. Her eyes were almost bulging and she was blinking rapidly. This was why she needed control- this was why she freaked out when she didn't _maintain_ control. Serena was being a back-stabbing bitch and was taking over the girls at school and she couldn't stand it. The one place she usually had full domain was over her group of girls, and now they were flocking to another queen just because of _one_ picture in _Women's Wear Daily_.

"If it wasn't for me they'd be stuck behind the barricades with PETA!" she shrieked.

Dorota quietly poured her some tea.

An idea blipped into life in Blair's mind, "In fact- I _will_ stick them with PETA, maybe that'll teach them some manners." She grabbed the seating chart and pulled it toward her, staring down at it and noticing several huge changes, "Who stuck Serena and that Poppy girl in the front row?" she demanded, looking at Dorota.

The woman just looked back at her.

"Someone changed this chart- the chart _my_ mother told me to make!" she shouted, feeling as if all the control she could ever want in her life was slipping from her fingers at an all too rapid speed. "Who changed it?!"

Dorota spoke up, "Your mother says Miss Jenny change it."

Blair's ears perked up and she swallowed, saying, "Jenny Humphrey?"

Dorota just looked at her.

"I guess she didn't learn her lesson last year," she spat, standing abruptly and stomping out of the room.

When she found her mother, the woman was delighted with the chart's changes, and when she explained that they were impossible and couldn't happen, she was told otherwise. _It is already arranged_. So, Poppy was going to be in the front row, and Serena was going to ditch her- on top of everything else she had done. Blair was going to kill the intruding little sophomore that was Dan's sister.

"All this thanks to Jenny Humphrey," she muttered.

And when her mother went into a tirade about how wonderful the bitch was, she couldn't help but grit her teeth and-

"A tenth grader with an independent study?"

Her mother nodded and all but shooed her away.

It was impossible- no sophomore had an independent study at Constance. Blair knew what was really going on. Jenny was skipping school and helping Blair's mother- whether to avoid Penelope and all of the girls, or just because she wanted to, Blair didn't care- and claiming she had an independent study. There was no way Mr. Humphrey knew about this and was okay with it. And Blair knew just how she was going to get Jenny back for snatching away her last sliver of control.

* * *

This was definitely a danger zone he didn't feel comfortable in.

"You either go down the rabbit hole, or you go out the door."

Dan was okay with getting drunk if he had to, but- what the hell could those tablets be? He didn't want to swallow down one to many milligrams of Oxycontin and end up in the hospital. And, yes, Chuck Bass was completely capable of committing such an act on an innocent victim. Some part of Dan's brain though, was going, 'Even if you did end up in the hospital, it'll be good for your writing!' Which was true- but the rational part of his brain countered with, 'What the hell is _wrong_ with you?'

He took one of the two tablets and put it on his tongue, allowing it to trail down his throat with a chase of alcohol.

Apparently there's a hell of a lot wrong with him.

See you down the rabbit hole, Lonely Boy.

* * *

Blair barely had ten minutes to enjoy the picture of Jenny's defeated face as she left the penthouse with her father, before her phone was ringing.

Dan.

It was a little early for them to be on the phone, but it was much needed, so she answered.

"Hel-"

"Blair."

It was Dan, but he sounded strange- like he was confused and upset.

She didn't say anything in response.

"Blair," he repeated, and she noticed that his words were slurred and rushed. "I don't know where- and I don't- I don't have my _shoes_!"

_Oh God_, she thought, _he's drunk_.

Shaking her head, she asked, "Dan, where are you? What have you been doing?"

"Chuck," he managed to say, growing even more sloppy by the minute. "We went to this bar and he gave me alotta shots and a pill- I dunno what- and then the sex club behind White Castle."

Blair closed her eyes and took a breath. Next mission: Kill Chuck.

Putting herself into alert mode, she snapped, "Dan- Dan, shut up!" because he wouldn't stop rambling now. She was afraid he was going to start crying, so she asked, "Where are you?"

"Excuse me," she heard him saying, away from the phone. "Excuse me- Where am I?"

"Dan!" she shouted, afraid he was going to get himself killed.

He got back to the phone, "Blair, I'm in the Bronx!"

"Oh God," she rolled her eyes and then closed them. "What street are you on right now?"

There was a pause and some shuffling, and he finally said, "Between East 175th and Townsend- My feet are all friggin' wet from the rain, Blair," he said, and then he started laughing.

She huffed, before shouting, "Dan, shut up!" When he finally silenced himself, she said, "Listen to me very carefully. Go into the nearest McDonald's and buy yourself a water-"

"I don't have any money," he told her, giggling a little.

"Just go into the nearest McDonald's and if they give you a hard time for just sitting in there, tell them you're waiting for a ride and that I'll buy a water when I get there," she replied. "Do you understand me?"

She felt like she was talking to a toddler.

Dan stuttered, "I do- I understand."

His language was getting more and more slurred.

"Don't talk to anyone or do anything except go to that McDonald's, okay?" she urged, hurrying into the elevator with her bag over her arm.

He was silent.

"Dan, do you understand me?" she demanded, and the elevator started to descend.

He shouted back, "I nodded!"

She rolled her eyes, "I'll be right there."

And she hung up, wondering how much it was going to cost her to save _his_ ass this time.

* * *

Dan was feeling strange. He felt euphoric, but paranoid and anxious at the same time. His feet, though only covered in damp socks, were still warm- and there was an itching warmth trailing all the way to his ankles. The rest of his body, however, was cold, and he was shivering almost violently. He stared at the bright lights of the McDonald's around him, smiling to himself, as if he couldn't help it, while thinking that- for some unfathomable reason- he was going to die. His chest was stretched tight and his heart was racing, then slowing, then racing again. The sound of his own blood, pumping in his ears, was keeping rhythm to the way he was blinking, and he began to hum a little song to go with it. He had the intense urge to get up and run, to just try to get away from these feelings, but he stayed in his seat, didn't move an inch.

He had never felt so weird before, and he was just hoping that Blair would get there soon.

"Dan," she said with impatient relief as she entered the fast food restaurant. As she made her way to the table he sat at, she glanced around at all of the unsavory characters within, grimacing openly at them. "Come on, let's go," she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him up. She wasn't strong enough, but he stood on his own and stumbled with her to the door.

That was when she noticed he was only wearing socks on his feet.

"Oh my God," she said. "You _really_ don't have any shoes."

He shook his head.

They exited the building, crossed the sidewalk, and Blair shooed the driver away as she opened the door and pushed Dan into the back seat of the town car. She got in beside him, closed the door, and told the driver to go back to her house.

Beside her, Dan was leaning his head against the seat, looking as if he was nervous, but relieved. He was shaking subtly, and had his face wrinkled as if he was in pain. Blair reached out and moved to smooth the hair along his forehead, but he jumped at the slight touch, flinching away. His breathing picked up until he looked over, realizing it was only her.

"What did Chuck _do_ to you?" she asked.

Dan shook his head, "I dunno- I dunno. He g-gave me something."

"What did he give you?" she demanded, afraid Dan was going to have a seizure or start to convulse because Chuck had given him too much of something.

He rubbed his eyes, saying, "I don't know- he wouldn't tell me."

"What are you feeling right now, Dan?"

"Blair, I don't want to-"

She cut him off, "Tell me, I need to know."

He thought for a minute, and it took him some serious concentration, but he managed to slur, "I'm cold- but my feet are hot. And my heart is going fast and my head- my head hurts a lot." He swallowed past the dryness in his mouth and continued, "I'm so scared and my chest hurts- but- but I'm so happy. I've never been so happy," he smiled over at her.

She curled her lip as she caught a whiff of whiskey.

"He gave you a pill, Dan?"

"Uh-huh," he said, still smiling. He reached out and stroked her cheek clumsily, "And I love you."

She swatted his hand away, "You're high."

"On love?"

She scoffed and took out her phone, angrily finding Chuck's number and punching down the SEND button.

Chuck's stupid drawl sounded over the line within seconds, purring, "Booty-call?"

"You wish," she rolled her eyes. "No, I called to find out what the _hell_ is wrong with you."

He chuckled, "Be more specific."

"Ecstasy, Chuck?" she snapped angrily. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

He laughed a little harder, "So Humphrey-Dumpty called you to rescue him?"

She was getting angrier by the moment, especially since she could hear Dan shivering, scared but happy, beside her, "You took his fucking _shoes_, Chuck!"

Dan jumped a little at the sharp uprise in volume as she spoke, and she put a hand on his arm to steady him and anchor him to something sane and sturdy.

"I thought it was all in good fun," Chuck said in response.

She shook her head, her lips curled in disgust, "You're sick. You could have killed him."

"Please-"

"No, you fucking ass hole, don't shrug this off!" she spat, giving Dan's arm a slight squeeze of reassurance. "If anything- even something so minor it's almost nonexistent- happens to him, I will personally make you sorry."

He chuckled, "Is that a promise?"

"I'm not fucking joking around, Chuck," she snarled. "I will help him sue you so fast that your dad won't even be able to buy his way out of it."

She didn't wait for a response.

"Good-bye," she said, and she hung up.

She looked over at Dan, whose eyes were closed, and took a deep breath, trying to relax a little. It was true, she had just gone a little psycho on Chuck, but it was necessary. His manipulation was dangerous, and she was just sick of it. Besides, if anything did happen to Dan because of him, she would have no problem beating him up, or suing him, whichever she was in the mood for.

Dan managed to softly say, "Blair?"

"Yeah?" she sat up a little, looking at him with immediate concern.

"Thanks," he said, with his eyes still closed.

She gave his arm another squeeze, and then let him rest against the leather of the back seat.

* * *

Dan woke up to the sound of Spongebob Squarepants laughing and yelling about bubbles.

His head was aching and his body felt like it was thrumming from the inside out, but he was in an impossibly comfortable bed that smelled of roses and detergent and he felt very comfortable where he was. Somewhere nearby, against the sound of the cartoon world on TV, was the sound of a pencil scratching against a piece of paper. Someone was writing- where was he that someone would be writing? Where was he that the bed would smell like roses? He tried to remember what had happened before he had fallen asleep- why he was confused and what had led him to this. He cracked an eye open and looked ahead. Sitting at a desk beside the bed, in jeans and a floaty purple blouse, with her hair pulled back with a band of black silk, was Blair. She was writing in a notebook, glancing back and forth from a textbook to her writing.

Dan watched her for a moment, before she felt that he was awake and looked up herself.

"Hey," she said.

He groaned as his stomach tossed within its place, "Hi."

She laughed a little at his reaction.

"What happened?" he asked, and his voice was cracked and hoarse.

"You mean before or after Chuck gave you some E and left you shoeless in the Bronx?" she asked, smirking a little before returning to the history textbook in front of her.

Dan groaned again, as it all came flooding back into his brain; down the rabbit hole and all that.

"Uh-huh," was Blair's response.

"What time is it?" he managed to ask, behind the hands he had placed over his face.

Blair glanced at her clock, saying, "Almost eight."

He sat up quickly, looking around, "Are you going to get in trouble for me being here?"

"Please," she rolled her eyes and laughed. "My mom isn't even home and wouldn't notice even if she was. And Dorota's not going to yell at me."

"Blair," he shook his head. "I am so sorry about this."

She waved it off, "What were you doing with _Chuck_ anyway?"

He physically tried to shake the memories away- memories of drug-induced comas, fiery shots of mysterious liquors, White Castle burgers, and hidden sex clubs- saying, "It's a long story."

She gave him a dubious look, but continued to scratch away at her notes.

They fell into silence, and Dan took a full consensus of the situation. He was in Blair's bed- an impossibly comfortable and sweet-smelling bed too- and he wasn't dead. After a thrilling and eventful, but exceedingly dangerous night with Chuck Bass, he had ended up at a McDonald's in the Bronx. He could remember thinking that the couple across the restaurant was going to kill him, for no apparent reason. He could still feel the remnants of the anxiety and paranoia from the night before, and none of the euphoria. Chuck had drugged him- although, he had taken the pill himself- and had left him shoeless, in a neighborhood not his own. And Blair- he stared at her adoringly from the bed, having a whole new feel for her now- Blair had saved him.

"Thank you," he said, so much sincerity and compassion creeping into his voice that she had to look up.

The way he was looking at her- with such open love and unabashed adoration- made a slew of pleasurable chills rack her spine.

She smiled only a little, saying, "I figured that I owed you."

He knew it was more than that, he knew she cared- he could vaguely remember her screaming at Chuck over the phone- _No, you fucking ass hole, don't shrug this off!_ and the slight squeeze on his arm that reminded him everything would be okay _If anything- even something so minor it's almost nonexistent- happens to him, I will personally make you sorry_- and he smiled at her.

"What?" she asked, the smile creeping further up her lips.

He got off of the bed, leaned down, cupping her face with his hand, and planted the gentlest of kisses on her cheek.

When he pulled away, their eyes met. Dan was still smiling as he said, "You're amazing."

The way he said it made a lump rise in her throat and she said, flippantly, "I know. Now get out of here- I have a fashion show to prepare for."

That was fine, because Dan had some serious writing to do.

As he left the room, he looked back one last time, smiling at her- with that lopsided grin- and shaking his head a little, as if he couldn't believe she was really as amazing as he had said.

When he had shut the door, Blair allowed herself to be aware of just how many butterflies were going insane within her stomach.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Who cares that I have school tomorrow? I had to get this up and I'm proud that I did. Hope everyone liked it! Enjoy the new episode of Gossip Girl tomorrow- according to the promos there's some Chair, so, gross, but it's still an amazing show!


	7. New Haven Can Wait

**Author's Note:** Thank you for the reviews- eeeek, I love them to pieces! A special thanks to Claire_llal for warning me that I had accidentally put this story under the Blair/Rufus category. Haha. Whoops! So, my hopes for this story being up to date with the episodes is obviously dashed, but, that's okay. Also, a few things are going to veer away from the original episode in this chapter- enjoy 'New Haven Can Wait!'

**New Haven Can Wait**

Blair wasn't sure how it had happened. One minute she was trying to apologize to Serena, the next, she was watching Serena and Poppy pose for the paparazzi, having just been told off by her best friend. As she had stood there, listening to the blonde say things like, "I'm sick of holding myself back so I don't outshine you," she had so wanted to rip at her golden hair and scratch at her face. Most of all, she had wanted to say, "Dan likes me more!" Somehow, she had held herself back, and had only called Serena conceited, over the course of the whole night. She regretted it, but it confused her and annoyed her more.

"So, you're headed to Yale then?"

She didn't even bother to look over at Serena as the blonde fell into step beside her, she just said, "Your deductive reasoning is perfect for a place like Brown."

"A place like Brown?" Serena retorted.

Stopping and turning to face the blonde, Blair said, "Yes- You know, a university stuffed with vegans and liberals, all majoring in things like yoga and dread-locking." Smirking, she continued with, "I can't wait to see you next Thanksgiving- a militant veganista; anemic and proud."

Serena looked amused at Blair's attempt at snubbing her as she rolled her eyes and said, "Brown is an Ivy League school."

Scoffing a little, the brunette said, "Everyone knows the only _real_ Ivies are Harvard, Yale, and Princeton."

"I know you might find this hard to believe," Serena said, trying to seem joking and sarcastic, "But not everyone wants to go to Yale, because not everyone wants to be Blair Waldorf."

Blair took it all in a stride, saying, "Not everyone _can_ be."

And then, she let loose.

"Since we're not friends anymore, let me speak frankly," she paused, trying to ignore the rising anger as Serena's amusement adorned her face. "You're not that smart. You lack focus and discipline," Serena's smile deepened. "Charm is all well and good, but when you really get down to it, intelligence is a hell of a lot more important than being featured in the latest gossip rag."

She wanted Serena to say something, to strike back. But all the blonde did was stare and smirk.

Continuing on her warpath, Blair said, "You wouldn't make it past the first round of admissions at Yale no matter how hard you tried." Finally she took a breath, allowed her face to break into a smile and said, "Have fun in Providence!" and walked away.

Somewhere between the girls' hallway and the courtyard, however, she spotted Dan. From down the hall, she caught his eye and narrowed her lids. He narrowed his own lids in response, allowing a small smile to play behind his lips. She walked towards him, and he wondered if she was going to talk to him in public- if she was going to change everything. But she brushed right by him, only breaking eye contact once she was past him. This didn't anger him or surprise him. On the contrary, he felt lighter for the first time that day- what with the personal threats he was receiving from Chuck concerning his discovery of Charlie Trout.

But he didn't let it- or anything else- get to him.

Since Blair had rescued him from Chuck's ecstasy game, Dan had managed to hang out with the scum bag again- if only to research more properly into the mind of a damaged character. What had resulted, was a tragic story of Chuck's mother dying in childbirth or a plane crash, and his father being negligent and unfeeling, Dan also got a night in jail, the ability to tell off Shapiro, and a severe tongue-lashing from Blair.

"You hung out with him again?!" she had shouted over the phone that night, after she had finished venting about the disastrous fashion show. "Are you insane?"

Dan tried to explain to her that it was for his writing, but she wouldn't hear any of it.

She scolded him with, "He could have killed you with that ecstasy- And you go and hang out with him again?"

"But I was careful-"

"There's no such thing as careful with Chuck Bass!" she said, and he could just hear her rolling her eyes.

But since then, there relationship (if you could call it that) had seemed to start over from scratch. It had begun with them kissing in May, and then it had gone to their secret rendezvous at parties. Now, there was no physical aspect of what they had. It was simply talking over the phone, and exchanging glances and brushes of the shoulders or hands in the halls. Because of this, it seemed like they were working up their foundations from the ground, and truthfully, Dan preferred this over secret hookups in bathrooms. He felt like he was starting to get to really know Blair Waldorf, and because of this he felt proud.

But the question still remained: What was the point, if they couldn't go public?

* * *

Yale was everything Blair knew it to be.

The lawns were a lush green, perfectly manicured and crisp. The buildings that made up the campus were all classic and stone, covered in ivy, standing regal and imposing, waiting for her to enter their doors. It was all how she had always dreamed it would be, and she could just picture herself among the other Yalies, walking from class to class, looking positively Ivy League. She belonged. It was in her blood, and as she stepped out of the town car, she took in a deep breath of the scent of dying leaves and freshly-cut grass, feeling herself relax and unwind. There was nothing to worry about. She was miles from Serena and the drama of Constance Billard. Today was all about the future, and she just had to remember that.

As she sat in the room outside of the dean's office, however, she felt her resolve slipping.

Not only was the man laughing raucously at something in his office, his secretary was anally dusting china cats while humming bad showtunes.

Blair shook herself and straightened her shoulders.

This was her moment. This was the beginning of her future.

A rather loud and jovial bout of laughter shook the dean's vocal chords, and Blair jumped.

"My, the dean hasn't laughed like that years," the secretary said pleasantly, continuing her dusting and humming.

Swallowing and shaking her head to refresh herself, Blair sat up straighter.

And suddenly the door to the dean's office was opening and he was saying, "It was such a pleasure to meet you Miss van der Woodsen- what a lovely surprise."

Blair's eyes snapped upward and she saw Serena smiling brightly, standing in the doorway with the dean.

"Who doesn't love a surprise?" the blonde said breezily, looking over and sending Blair a pointed look of victory.

"I do hope you enjoy the rest of your visit at Yale," the dean said.

She giggled a little and said, "Thank you so much." Turning to Blair she said, "Looks like he's ready for you."

The dean asked, "Yes, shall we, Miss Waldorf?"

Swallowing quickly, Blair forced a smile and stood up, walking forward.

Lying through her teeth, she said, "I've never been more prepared."

* * *

As Dan sat outside of Yale's library, rubbing his face and nearly groaning through his nose, he shook his head and clenched his jaw.

The dean of admissions was not impressed with his credentials. SAT scores, semester and final grades, admissions essays, pleading- none of it mattered now. It was his recommendation- or his lack of recommendations- that was hurting him now- that was causing his Yale career to ride on a very flimsy line. And what had been the man's advice? _Go find a professor to read your work and write you a recommendation_. Sure, he could do that. No pressure there. His future was only balancing on his ability to convince someone he didn't know to read something and have them write him a recommendation, and all within twenty-four hours.

Sighing loudly, Dan leaned against his knees and looked ahead.

Completely unaware of his presence, Blair strode through the front doors of the library, looking annoyed and at a loss.

After a moment of her disappearing within the building, Dan got up and followed her. It took him a moment once he got inside, but he spotted her walking up the nearest stairway after a few seconds. Following discreetly behind her, he trailed all the way up the topmost floor of the library, past a dozen shelves of reference books, and into an abandoned alcove with worn leather chairs and a table, set up beside a stained-glass window. He watched behind a bookshelf for a moment, as she slumped backward into one of the fat chairs, leaning her elbows against her knees, and covering her face in her hands.

Quietly, Dan moved out from behind the shelf and cleared his throat.

Looking up, with a flash of annoyance running across her face, Blair's shoulders sagged when she saw that it was Dan. She had wanted to be alone, to get away from everything and everyone- but this, this was okay too.

"Dan," she said simply, looking extremely tired.

He moved forward and looked at the chair facing her, not sure if he should sit down. "I saw you walk in here, and I thought I'd-"

"Check up on me," she smirked a little. "Thanks."

He shrugged, a little embarrassed for himself.

"You can sit," she said resignedly.

He nodded absently and sat, asking, "Why this particular spot of the library?"

She looked around wistfully, saying, "My dad used to take me when we'd visit. It was his favorite place in the whole library."

Dan nodded silently, smiling subtly.

"How was your meeting with the dean?" he finally asked.

She rolled her eyes, "I don't want to talk about it."

"That bad?"

Sending him a single withering look, she said, "Worse."

"What happened-"

"That bitch- You know, the one you used to date?!- Yeah, she fucking showed up, that's what happened!" she snapped.

Dan knotted his eyebrows, "Serena? I thought Serena wanted to go to-"

"Brown," Blair finished for him. "She did- But she wanted to teach me a lesson more, so she's fucking stealing Yale from me too!"

Getting tired of the constant battles between Blair and Serena, he said, "I'm sure she wasn't trying to teach you a lesson."

"Dan," Blair said, exasperated, "she told me so herself!"

He couldn't say anything in response to this.

Nodding with satisfaction, she said, "Yeah. So she's going to charm her fucking way into Yale, while I'm going to get booted off the dean's list for good."

"Blair, I'm sure you can-"

"I kissed him, Dan!" she cried.

He paused, "I'm sorry- What?"

"I kissed the dean on the cheek! When I was leaving!" she covered her face again. "What the fuck is wrong with me?!"

Dan actually laughed out loud.

Sitting up, Blair shot him a murderous look.

He tried to fix it, "I'm sorry." But he was still laughing, "Did you really?"

She just stared at him.

He sobered up quickly, "Sorry."

"And now Serena's going to the dean's private reception tonight," she all but whined. "My dad went to that! I should have been a shoo-in!"

Dan leaned forward saying, "Blair, you just have to-"

"No! I shouldn't have to do anything!" she hissed. "This should have been handed to me on a silver fucking platter!"

He gave her a scolding look, "Not everything can work like that."

She just simmered in front of him, breathing deeply through her nose.

"What about you?" she finally demanded. "How was your meeting?"

Dan sighed tiredly, "I have to get another recommendation or I'm S.O.L."

"So get another recommendation," she replied.

He looked at her for a moment before saying, "Yeah, if only it were that easy."

They were silent for a moment, and Blair was staring out the stained-glass window beside her, thinking of a way into the dean's reception. Her thoughts lingered on his British secretary and her obsession with- porcelain cats!

"Your dad's an art dealer, right?" she suddenly asked.

Dan looked up, "He owns a gallery."

"Right," she said quickly. "But what does he know about porcelain cats?"

* * *

So, it had worked. She was at the dean's reception, with the help of some eighteenth century porcelain cats, bought for the secretary in exchange for a ticket in. But now, Serena was forcing her to continue the battle. How it had happened, she didn't know, but somehow the charming blonde had discovered the golden answer to the dean's party question, and now Blair was screwed. V did come before W, so what was she supposed to do? As Serena pranced over to the dean and began giggling and talking to him brightly, Blair turned and stared at the crystal bowl filled with answer cards. Serena's was still right on top.

Without even considering it, Blair grabbed the card and opened it. She stared down at Serena's name and at her answer.

_**Blair, what are you doing?  
**_  
She turned around sharply, thinking the words had been spoken aloud, thinking Dan was right behind her. But there was no one watching her, no one talking to her.

_Stuff it, Humphrey_, she thought to herself. _All's fair in love and war, and this is a war of the Ivies._

Grabbing a new answer card, she rewrote Serena's name, and then next to it, put her new answer.

_**Don't.**_

_The dean will never admit a former teenage coke-head who was responsible for the death of someone!_  
_**  
You're sinking pretty low, Waldorf.**_

_You're getting pretty annoying._

_**Just don't do it.**_

_I'll do what I need to do to get in. She's taken everything from me, why should I play fair?_

Blair ceased the pretend conversation between herself and Dan, and dropped the answer card back into the bowl.

* * *

When Dan was grabbed, gagged, tied-up, and carried into a building and down a flight of stairs, he was sure that his life was becoming a gruesome Stephen King novel, and that he would have to endure something weird- like paper-cuts between his toes- for the next twenty years of his life. But as he was placed in a chair and stripped of his clothes, he feared something dangerously real.

"Because of your father, we lost our boat _and_ our house in Tuscany," a vicious male voice said as the burlap sack was ripped from Dan's head.

When his vision cleared, he saw that he was surrounded by a group of college guys, and he struggled against them, breathing raggedly.

He tried to ask, "What are you talking about?" but the gag in his mouth prevented him.

"Nate Archibald," one guy said as Dan's shoes were removed, and then his pants. "You are going to learn a lesson you won't soon forget."

Dan's heart was rocketing around in his chest, and he was shivering through cold-sweats as he sat in some kind of basement, naked except for his boxers, staring at his assailants.

"All right, boys," the same guy who thought he was Nate said. "Up and at 'em."

They picked him up again and carried him up a flight of stairs and through a short hallway, before they were outside again. The night air was cold and it shocked his skin, making it clench around his insides, as it was exposed to him. He shouted against his gag, but it got him nowhere. The campus- the route they were taking anyway- was deserted. It relieved him to know that the guys weren't going to do what his worst case scenario had been- that he was hoping, anyway- but he _was_ scared about where they were planning on taking him.

When they stopped at a lit-up gazebo, he knitted his eyebrows, trying to ask what they were doing, but failing yet again.

They placed him on his feet and placed his arms around the icy statue in the center of it, tying his wrists back together. After untying his ankles and ungagging him they took their rope and flashlights, and walked away.

"Adios, Archibald!" one of them called when they were halfway across the lawn ahead.

Resting his head on his arm and sighing, to himself, Dan said, "I'm not Nate Archibald."

* * *

Blair had felt so victorious when the dean had read 'Serena's' answer out loud, when she had looked at the blonde and had seen that look of shock and failure on her face. But now, now that they were screaming at each other on the porch, she was just getting angrier and angrier. Sure, bringing up Pete and using Serena's faults against her was a low-blow, but showing up at Yale and taking her dream and her future from her had been a step over the line too. Blair felt as if she was entitled to strike, and to strike hard. But now Serena was fighting back, yelling in Blair's face, throwing away her patience, and losing her grip.

"You crossed the line when you came to Yale!" Blair shouted.

"And so did you, when you brought up Pete!" Serena replied. Turning to go back inside she said, "As far as my being here, you can take that up with the school."

In the half-second she had, with Serena beginning to approach the door, a million things went through Blair's mind. She thought of Serena, always making her parents laugh and beam when she would invite her over to have dinner with them. She was the carefree and perfect ray of sunshine that Blair couldn't be. And when the bingeing and purging started, she knew her mother found solace in the fact that Serena was Blair's best friend- as if the carefree brightness would rub off on her and her daughter would stop being such a neurotic mess. And she imagined Serena and Nate- together- betraying her in so many of the worst ways. There was Serena again, being so charming and easy to love, stealing something else from under her best friend's nose. She saw Serena and Dan, together, always, perfect and happy. But now she had Dan- but did she really? And lastly, she saw Serena in the doorway of the dean's office, making him laugh raucously and smile brightly. The one thing she was sure she still had all to herself- gone. Everything was slipping from her fingers, and it was all Serena's fault.

Her clutch flew from her fingers before she could even contemplate throwing it.

When it hit the back of Serena's head, making her turn, Blair just gave her a victorious smirk.

"You did not just do that."

"Why do you think you were invited?" Blair demanded. "You know on paper you're not Yale material! Could it be your face on Page Six? Face it, Serena, Yale needs to up it's cool rating and you provided the perfect gossip whore."

Serena strode back over to her, shoving her shoulders, and shouting, "Shut up!"

"You shut up!" Blair pushed back.

And just like that, they were pushing, clawing, pulling, kicking, and illustrating a poor excuse for a cat-fight.

* * *

"Hey, uh, excuse me!" Dan called across the sidewalk. "Could you untie me?"

The group of students laughed in response, and kept on walking.

"Yeah, thanks," Dan muttered under his breath. When he saw a couple strolling past, he yelled, "Excuse me! I know it's a strange request, but could you untie me?"

The couple looked at him, laughed, said something like, 'fraternity initiation,' and walked onward.

Blair was walking slowly past the gazebo when she noticed someone tied to the statue. She slowed to a standstill when she recognized the familiarity in the person.

Hearing her laugh out loud, Dan managed to turn around and his shoulders fell.

Ascending the steps, Blair walked over to him, "Humphrey, this is a side of you I've never seen before," she said, continuing to laugh.

He gave her a humorless smirk.

"Dare I ask how you even got into this position?" she queried, forgetting all about her fight with Serena- the one that had ended with them in agreeing to no longer be friends or enemies or anything.

Sighing, Dan said, "I don't know- Some people thought I was Nate or something."

She nodded, a genuine smile still on her lips.

After a moment of silence, he asked, "Would you mind untying me?"

Rolling her eyes good-naturedly, Blair stepped forward and set about untying his wrists.

"How was your reception with the dean?" he asked, for a poor attempt at conversation.

Her smile immediately fell, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why? Weren't you allowed in?"

"Yes," she replied curtly.

He waited a beat, then asked, "Well?"

"I did something- Something you wouldn't be very proud of," she said quietly.

Dan stared at her carefully for a moment, fearing what she could have done, "Blair...."

She didn't say anything.

"What did you do?"

Focusing solely on the knots around his wrists, she said, "I might have sabotaged Serena a little."

"By....?"

She knew he would be furious.

"Blair."

"I told the dean about Pete Fairmen," she snapped. "Happy?"

Dan froze, "Blair, you didn't."

She just slipped one of the rope loops off of his wrist, not responding.

"That's going a little far," he said.

"Yeah, I know," she said dejectedly. "Hence my ripped Chanel," she mumbled.

He took in her appearance, "Wait, Serena....?"

"Yeah," she said shortly. "Little Miss Ray-of-Sunshine mauled me."

"Because you brought up Pete?" he asked.

The rest of the ropes fell from his wrists, to the gazebo floor.

Blair sighed and moved beside him, sitting down on the cool wood of the structure's floor, "No, because I threw my bag at her."

Laughing out loud, Dan sat down beside her, "You didn't."

"Oh, I did."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, and then Dan asked, "Are you guys all right though?"

Blair hugged her knees to her chest, allowing herself to be vulnerable in front of him, saying, "We agreed to no longer be friends or compete with one another."

Dan heard the regret in her voice, and he said, "Oh, Blair...."

"It's okay, Cabbage Patch," she smiled wryly, looking into his eyes. "You don't need to feel sorry for me."

Even though he was still only in his boxers, Dan put his arm around her, and she leaned her head into his naked chest, marveling at how warm he still was, even after standing in the chill.

"It's been a long night, Blair," he said appreciatively.

She laughed dryly, taking comfort in his embrace, saying, "It most certainly has."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, I'm reeeeeeeally sorry that it took forever to update this story! I tried really hard to work on the chapter, but it wasn't working out. But, I finally stuck it out and finished it. Hope you all liked it. Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon! Thanks for reading and being so patient!


	8. Chuck in Real Life

**Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews! I'm so sorry this chapter took forever to be put up- writing it was like pulling teeth. Honestly, I wasn't sure how much Dan/Blair interaction there could be- and then there was the problem of sifting out the Chair. Some things are going to start changing drastically and I hope you enjoy! Here's 'Chuck in Real Life!'

**Chuck in Real Life**

Dan wanted to laugh out loud when Chuck called his recent friendship with Nate- over Nate's apology about using Dan's name to talk to the English major at a Yale- a bromance. Instead, he stared contemptuously at the Upper East Side womanizer, and wondered what Blair had ever seen in him. And when Nate ignored the jibe and continued walking, Dan followed him. He had no interest in staying within the same proximity as Chuck when he could help it. And he wasn't aware of it, but watching him walk away, was Blair. She had a hard time swallowing Dan's friendship with Nate- just because she felt like things were shifting unnecessarily- and she had told Dan over the phone the other night.

Sounding a little annoyed, he replied with, "So, what, do you want me to stop talking to him?"

"Yes," she said indignantly.

He laughed callously and said, "No, Blair, things don't work that way."

And so she decided to endure.

As he disappeared down the hall with Nate, she looked at Chuck and saw the regret and annoyance in his eyes. Because she still couldn't get over what he had done to her in May- abandoning her in Tuscany- and because she wanted to spit in his eye, so to speak, she approached him.

"Poor Chuck," she said sweetly. "What is life without a friend to share it?"

He turned and looked at her, seeming annoyed.

Smiling pleasantly, she continued, "Oh, but it looks like your last one's been stolen by Humphrey."

Smirking sickly, Chuck replied, "Blair, are you sure you want to be bullying me?"

"I can't think of anyone I'd rather torture," she said, as if she was granting him a favor.

"Really? Are you sure about that?" he asked. "When I'm the one who knows about your little trysts with Humphrey."

Blair's heart immediately sped up, but on the outside, she remained cool. Blinking, as if she had no patience for his nonsense, she smiled and said, "Chuck, Chuck, Chuck- How many times do I have to tell you this? You're delusional."

"I'm right," he said, reaching out and trying to stroke her jawline with his index finger.

She grabbed his hand and pushed it away, putting her hands on her hips, telling him, "Chuck, grow up."

"Oh, I'm _all_ grown up," he said huskily, his voice chilling and arrogant.

Blair curled her lip at him.

He smirked harder, saying, "We both know Humphrey can't satisfy your needs. Why don't you allow me-"

"Just because I made a mistake twice, Chuck, doesn't mean I'm willing to do it again," she snapped. "I have no intention of even looking at you in that way again."

A sort of growl-purr resounded from his throat, and he looked down, his eyes slowly sweeping her body. When he met her eyes again, he said, "We'll see about that."

She scoffed at him, rolled her eyes, and said, "Good-bye, Chuck," walking past him and into the courtyard.

Outside, Penelope and Isabel were scolding a freshmen who sat on the steps with them. She had worn leggings as pants the day before, and so she needed to be properly reprimanded, or else they risked being humiliated again. As she stood by, nodding at their words, she was approached by someone. Looking up, she saw Vanessa Abrams- Dan's friend from Brooklyn- standing before her.

"Blair, you got a minute?" she asked, an amused smirk on her lips.

Rolling her eyes and sighing, she said, "Sixty seconds," and walked away from the girls with Vanessa. When she saw the yellow flyers within the girl's hand she asked, "What are you doing here with those? Shouldn't you be at Whole Foods?"

"As much as I hate to say it, I could really use your help with this," she replied, handing over one of the flyers.

Scanning the words, Blair scoffed, "Charity is for diseases and endangered species. Saving tear-downs is not on that list- at least not in this city."

Vanessa stared at her for a moment, as if silently deliberating over something. Then she said, "I can make you help me, you know."

Blair laughed, "That's cute."

"Everyone knows you and Marcus broke up, but nobody knows why," she said, raising her open phone and revealing a picture of Marcus and Catherine in a heated embrace.

The fear cracked like an egg in Blair's stomach. She couldn't afford the humility of everyone finding out the truth about what had happened with Marcus.

With her voice still steady, she said, "Even you wouldn't stoop that low."

"I wouldn't?" she smiled. "You have six hours to get a thousand signatures, and make sure they're legible," she handed over a clipboard and the flyers. "Have fun," she said brightly, waving her phone at Blair and walking away.

Blair knew automatically, that this was _not_ okay.

* * *

"Your little friend, Vanessa, blackmailed me into fucking helping her with this stupid shithole they want to tear down!"

Dan looked up from where he was sitting in the empty cafeteria during his free period, reading, to find Blair standing before him, looking as if she was going to rip someone's throat open.

"Do you have a free-"

"I got out of World Religion," she said, indicating that that wasn't the point. "Can't you get her a leash or something?"

Dan sighed, warning, "Blair."

"She blackmailed me, Dan!"

This didn't sound like Vanessa, and he just looked at Blair skeptically, asking, "How?"

"She has a picture of Catherine and Marcus making out, and she's going to show everyone if I don't help her," she explained, her voice hot and angry.

"Blair," Dan said tiredly. "You always blackmail people- It's a good cause, just help her."

Blair cried, "You're _defending_ her?"

He just looked at her.

"You're supposed to defend _me_!"

He smiled, amused, "Not when you're wrong."

"Dan!"

"It'll take you a half an hour to get those signatures," he said. "Just help her."

Groaning deep within her throat, Blair turned on her heel and stomped from the room. She had no intention of helping Vanessa Abrams without there being a punishment to follow up- she just needed to figure out what that punishment was going to be.

* * *

Chuck easily agreed to seduce and destroy the Brooklyn troll. So easily that Blair was afraid it was too good to be true.

She knew it was risky to be sabotaging Dan's best friend, but she had to do it. Not only was Vanessa blackmailing Blair into helping her stupid little cause, and trying to reign control over the Queen B, Dan had also defended Vanessa over Blair. He hadn't automatically agreed with her and promised to tell Vanessa to lay off. So, instinctively, her brain dipped into its neurotic shell and went crazy. She managed to convince herself that he had some sort of romance with Vanessa going on, and that he didn't like her anymore- that he cared for her more than he cared for Blair. Of course, she wasn't going to go to Dan and ask him outright what the hell was up. No, she had to sabotage Vanessa and take her down instead.

And Chuck was her secret weapon.

"What's in it for me?" he had asked.

Blair replied with, "The thrill of the impossible. The only person Vanessa hates more than me, is you."

He looked at her over his martini glass, skeptical but sleazy.

"It would be one for the ages."

He smirked a little.

Fearing that he was going to back down, Blair chose to deal him a low blow, "Or maybe you're not up for it- as memory serves, you seemed to have some mechanical problems."

She saw his eyes go hard and angry as she handed him the yellow flyer, promoting Vanessa's real estate ventures.

"I'll just imagine she's you," he said, and she cringed.

When he was out of the penthouse, she was able to breathe and think again- to shake away the scheming shell and begin to worry if what she had done what was right.

But when she thought of Dan's words, she managed to renew her confidence.  
_  
You're supposed to defend_ me_! __**Not when you're wrong.**_

__Yes, she was doing the right thing.

By Blair Waldorf's standards anyway.

* * *

In hindsight, breaking into Nate Archibald's house probably wasn't the best idea. But when he found the legal documents littering the front stoop, he couldn't help but feel like he was in some kind of mystery novel, and that drove him forward. But when he was standing within the Archibald's living room, looking down at a makeshift camp- consisting of a sleeping back and an arrangement of dry-cleaning- he realized how very real this was.

His first instinct was to leave and pretend as if he had never witnessed this, but- Was this Nate's little camp? Was he living in his seized townhouse?

Grabbing his phone and staring at the scene before him, he blindly dialed a familiar number.

"If you don't have a good reason for waking me up at nine o'clock on a Saturday, I'm going to behead Cedric."

Dan replied, "Did you know Nate Archibald is still living in his townhouse, even though it's been seized?"

Blair sounded suddenly awake as she said, "What?! What are you doing in his townhouse?"

"We were supposed to meet for soccer and-"

"He showed you this?"

He stared at a box of Wheat Thins on the floor and frowned, saying, "No- we were supposed to meet at the park and I messed up."

"You- He's living there still?" she asked.

"Blair, he's got a sleeping bag and a box of groceries here," he told her.

Blair was silent for a moment before she said, "Oh my God," quietly.

"Yeah."

"I mean, I knew they were having money problems but I- Oh my God," she sounded genuinely upset. "Poor Nate."

Dan's phone started beeping, he looked at the screen and saw Nate's name. "He's calling me right now- I'll talk to you later and let you know what happens."

"Okay," she said, and hung up.

* * *

The moment Chuck stepped into her room, Blair knew it couldn't be for a good reason.

"The deal is off," he said.

She stood up, "What?"

"You never said this thing would involve me buying a broken-down bar in Brooklyn," he snarled. "I'm done."

"But you haven't seduced Vanessa," she complained, her palms going sweaty at the idea that the girl would not be taken down.

He smirked angrily, "The prize isn't good enough for me."

Blair swallowed, her throat going thick. She was dealing with cards that were too hot for her to handle, but she said, "What if I made it worth your while?"

"My, my," he seemed surprised. "This girl seems to have really gotten under your skin."

She swallowed and stayed silent.

Was she willing to have sex with Chuck again, just to sabotage Vanessa?

_You're supposed to defend_ me_! __**Not when you're wrong.**_

__That's exactly what she'd have to do.

"Do we have a deal?" she asked, trying hard not to grit her teeth.

He traced a finger along the tie of her robe and said, "Oh, we have a deal."

"Good," she replied.

When he left the room she slumped onto her bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering what she had just done.

* * *

Walking around the park after a game of soccer, Dan and Nate talked lightly about school and friends. When the topic of family or home came up, Dan could feel the heaviness in the air, and he quickly steered the conversation away from that. Because of this, they somehow got to talking about the van der Bass housewarming party that was taking place that night.

"Are you going?" Nate asked.

Dan gave a double-take, "To _Serena's_ mother's housewarming party?" He laughed. "No."

"Come on- You should go," Nate urged. "I'm going- and I'm sure no one will mind. Besides, you're on good terms with Serena, aren't you?"

That wasn't actually true, but Dan didn't say so. Instead, he grimaced.

"Look, everyone's going to be there- It's fine."

Dan hesitated.

Nate laughed, "Do you want me to call Lily and ask?"

God, no!

"That's okay."

"Blair and Chuck are going to be there- Really, you have to go," Nate pressed.

Blair was going to be there.

Dan thought about this, then asked, "You sure no one will mind?"

No, of course not.

* * *

Blair was sipping a glass of champagne when Dan and Nate entered the van der Bass housewarming party. She was so shocked that she nearly spit out the bubbly alcohol everywhere.

"Blair, hey," Nate said after he had spotted her and approached.

She looked at Dan, and said, "You brought a stray."

Dan smirked, hoping it came off like he was annoyed with her.

"Yeah, well, Dan and I were hanging out today so I invited him," he said sheepishly.

Blair's eyes flickered across the room, to where she spotted Serena talking to her brother, and she said, "Do you really think that's such a good idea?"

Nate looked over at Serena and then looked at Dan, seeming to realize the mistake he might have made.

"I'm gonna go talk to her real quick."

And before either of them could object, he was walking away.

When Blair was sure no one was listening, she hissed, "What are you thinking?"

"What?"

"Are you seriously at this party right now and wondering what you could be doing wrong!?"

He shrugged, smirking a little, "Oh well."

"You're an ass hole," she said, smiling a little and narrowing her eyes.

He was about to say something in response, but instead he trailed off and stared across the room, asking, "Is that Vanessa?"

Blair turned and saw Vanessa (the troll) and Chuck approaching one another, talking with narrowed eyes and pursed lips.

Holy shit.

"Holy shit," Blair said.

Dan stared.

"They're _flirting_!" she put a hand to her mouth, because she could see the callous banter from across the room.

Suddenly, Dan turned to Blair with an accusing look, "Did you do this?"

She shrank under his gaze, saying, "No," in a very unconvincing way.

Technically, she was responsible for the real flirting. And she could tell that Chuck was flirting, not pretending to. Did that have to do with the fact that Chuck flirted with anything female? Or did he really have a inkling of a thing for Vanessa?

Chuck said something to her and then turned and left the room.

"I have to go talk to her," Dan said, about to walk up to her.

Blair grabbed his arm, saying, "No."

He turned, hearing the desperation in her voice, saying, "Blair, tell me what you did. Now."

She looked around the room nervously, as if spies were lurking in every corner and crevice.

"Okay, fine," she gave in. "Just- Go in the laundry room behind the kitchen- It's the slanted door next to the oven." He nodded stiffly. "I'll meet you there in five minutes- Don't let Vanessa see you!"

Dan slipped through the crowd, through the kitchen, and discreetly crept into the fairly-sized laundry room behind the kitchen. The room was lit only by a tiny overhead light that flickered and hummed softly. He didn't want to turn on the light and risk someone coming in to see what he was doing, so he leaned against the dryer in the semidarkness, waiting. His chest was clenched anxiously and he found himself sighing more than once. What had she done? Was she trying to hurt Vanessa because of the charity she had forced Blair to promote? He shook his head. At least Vanessa was blackmailing for good.

After several minute, Blair entered the laundry room, quickly closing the door behind her.

She looked at Dan in the semidarkness of the room and swallowed.

He was one of the only people she was truly afraid of.

"What did you do?" he asked, his voice solid and angry.

She winced a little saying, "I only did it because she was blackmailing me- Because you wouldn't even tell her to leave me-"

"Blair," he said warningly.

"I told Chuck to seduce and humiliate her," she said in a rush, the heat rising to her face quickly.

Dan felt the disappointment and anger roil in his stomach. "You _what_?"

"You wouldn't tell her to-"

"This is _my_ fault?" he asked acidly- incredulously. "Don't go pointing any fingers, Blair. This is your doing."

Blair wanted to curl in on herself as he stared at her disappointedly.

Shaking his head, Dan said, "I don't believe you- I- I have to talk to her."

He walked around her and out of the room.

"Dan!" she called, hurrying after him through the kitchen. "Dan, stop!"

He only ignored her.

Though he picked his way through the crowd, he couldn't find her. Blair followed him around the party, trying to seem discreet, but also trying to get him to stop what he was doing. She managed to stay under the radar from a seriously talking Nate and Serena, but wasn't able to prevent Dan from continuing his search with fervor. He finally gave up on the first level, and ascended the stairs.

"Dan, don't be stupid!" she called up to him, following at his heels.

He shook his head.

When he reached the landing, he walked, looking into rooms as he went. That was when he finally stopped dead.

"Finally," Blair sighed. "Really, you just...." She trailed off when she saw him staring, shock burning behind his eyes.

Turning to look where he was looking, Blair was met with the same shocking scene before her.

Chuck and Vanessa, kissing quite heatedly in one of the van der Bass's spare bedrooms.

Both Blair and Dan stood and stared with their mouths hanging open for a good minute, before Blair came to her senses and grabbed Dan's hand. She pulled him all the way to the master bathroom, where she locked the door behind them.

"What?" was all Dan could manage to get out, as he stared, trancelike, at the tiles on the wall.

Blair just laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of it.

Dan stared at her like she was crazy, but finally, when the shock wore off and the realization set in, he started laughing too.

Before long, they were both clutching their sides and laughing hysterically.

* * *

Once Blair and Dan emerged from the bathroom and covertly slipped back into the crowd, they were found by different parties.

Chuck approached Blair and told her the bet was off, and she smiled knowingly, asking him why.

"I don't feel like playing this game anymore," he told her, and she saw right through the lie.

Smirking, she asked, "Could it because you have feelings for the Brooklyn troll?"

His nostrils flared, but he didn't respond.

"I saw you two in the guest room," she said pleasantly.

"You're-"

She cut him off, offering, "Delusional?"

He stared at her, looking none too pleased.

"I think you understand where we stand now," she said with a smile, nodded and walked away.

Dan, however, was approached by Nate and Serena, who promptly kicked them out. Nate, for being so ignorant, and Dan, because they weren't really on good terms to begin with.

So Dan and Nate ended up walking the sidewalks, laughing over the whole thing.

Eventually, Nate said, "I should probably get home."

"How?" Dan let slip.

Nate knotted his eyebrows.

"I mean- I just-" Dan cut himself off. "Look, Nate, let me be honest with you. I know how you're living, and I want to help you."

Nate looked as if he was considering punching Dan in the face.

"I know it's none of my business, but I found out and- Look, if you want somewhere to stay, and company, you're more than welcome at my house," he said, the sympathy dripping into his voice.

Staring for a minute, Nate's shoulders shrugged and he said, "God, you can't keep a secret in this town, can you?"

Dan laughed a little, saying, "Not these days."

"I can't have you take me in as a charity case, Dan," Nate sighed.

Dan shrugged, saying, "You're not a charity case. It's a friend helping a friend."

Nate smiled a little, saying, "Are you- I mean, your family's going to be okay with this?"

He nodded, "Absolutely."

Wonder how Queen B's going to feel when she finds out about these living arrangements.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Like I said- pulling teeth. Hope the chapter was endurable. Sorry for the long wait. No promises, but I'll try to have the next one up sooner.


	9. Pret a Poor J

**Author's Note:** So, basically I had to try really hard not to rewrite all of this episode. I also made it pretty darn long, so read it sparingly- I don't know when the next update will be. Sorry, school is absolutely crazy with research papers and midterms around the corner. Hope this reaches everyone well though. Enjoy.

**Pret-a-Poor-J**

It would probably be an understatement to say that Blair was none to pleased when she found out Nate was lodging at the Humphrey's. Not only was it a bad idea to have someone so close to the UES circle living with Dan while he was having an affair with Blair, but it was just stupid in general. Nate, living in Brooklyn. It crossed too many lines for Blair, and she couldn't help but argue against this living arrangement every time she could. On top of it all, her and Dan's nightly phone conversations were greatly marred. Either they didn't speak at all, or they spoke in hushed tones, with Dan hiding in his bathroom, after he thought everyone had gone to sleep. Blair's sleeping patterns were being screwed up from staying up so late, waiting for Dan's call, and she was getting extremely nervous and uneasy- afraid that someone besides Chuck would find out about her affair with Dan.

One day after school, when Dorota was out getting dry cleaning and food shopping, and her mother was at work, Blair demanded that Dan come over.

The moment he stepped out of the elevator, she railed on him.

"This has to stop!"

For a moment, he was afraid she meant their relationship.

"You have to kick him out of your house!"

He relaxed when he realized she was talking about Nate, but then rolled his eyes.

Blair continued, "Dan! He's going to find out about us and everyone's going to know!"

"That's a pretty weak excuse for me to allow him to be homeless," he said bitterly.

This made her stop. He was right. Without the Humphrey's, Nate would still be camping out in the living room of his seized townhouse. Even with all the drama they had gone through- all the break ups and all the betrayals- Blair did love Nate. She had known him since she was in preschool, and she, him, Serena, and Chuck, had always been best friends. She did care about him, and she didn't want him to be in the position he was in. But- God!- did he have to live in _Dan's_ house? Couldn't he live with the van der Basses? She felt truly torn and she stared at Dan helplessly.

"I'm not kicking him out just because you don't like the situation," he said simply.

She crossed her arms and stared at him.

Shaking his head, he said, "Besides, Blair- really, who cares if anyone finds out about us?"

Feeling a panic rise up inside her, Blair said, "I do! Serena would never speak to me again!"

There was more to it than that. Not only would Serena hate her, but everyone would call her a raging hypocrite for all the flack she had given Serena for dating him in the first place. Besides, if they went public she'd have to introduce him to her mother and that was just too official for her liking. She wasn't involved with Dan because she thought they were going to be together forever, she was with him because they were having a fling. That was it, nothing more.

Dan sighed, "Blair-"

"No!" she cut him off. "If anyone finds out about us and it gets back to Serena we'll both have to leave town."

"Blair-"

She stopped him again, "It's a small island, Dan."

He stared at her for a minute, then said, "I'm not kicking Nate out."

"Dan-"

"I won't do it," he said with finality, and turned to leave the penthouse.

* * *

Rain was dripping from the sky, cold and slow. Blair walked down the sidewalk towards the school, her stocking-clad legs hoarding a couple dozen goosebumps. Under a giant, polka-dot umbrella, she would have preferred the warm interior of a town car, but the chill of the atmosphere woke her up and clarified her thoughts when it came to the Dan/Nate bromance situation.

"Want to get in?"

She knew it was Chuck, slowing his limo down beside her, even before she had turned her head to sneer at him.

"No, thank you."

He smirked a little, "Don't be proud."

"There's pride, and then there's dignity, Chuck," she replied sweetly.

"Of which you have none," he drawled.

She stopped walking and turned to him, "I don't think you should be one to talk, Bass."

His face hardened, "Nothing happened between Vanessa and me-"

"You don't have to lie to me, Chuck," she said, as if he was doing her a favor by lying. "I saw you and the little Brooklyn troll."

He froze.

"So the next time you think about even mentioning your little hallucinations of Humphrey and me, you can just remember that I know the truth about you and-"

"What do I care if you tell everyone about Vanessa?" he countered.

Blair stalled.

He smirked, "These lips have graced much worse than Brooklyn lips."

Ew.

"So go ahead and shout it from the rooftops, Waldorf," he said. "It was _just_- _a_- _kiss_," he said slowly, and with definition.

Blair swallowed, regarding him coolly and responding with, "Whatever you say, Chuck."

He nodded, "You've finally caught on."

She rolled her eyes and turned, continuing to walk onward.

"My last offer to give you a ride," he called, his limo trailing alongside her again.

She ignored him completely.

"One- two," he counted. Pausing first, he said, "Three. Arthur, just go."

The limo sped up and, eventually, disappeared around the corner. When it was gone, Blair continued to glare ahead, feeling her stomach clench angrily, and her nose flare in contempt. Part of her wanted Chuck to disappear into oblivion- or at least jet off to Martinique and never return- but another part of her wanted him to just be the Chuck she had known forever. Up until junior year, he had been a scheming slimeball, but he had also been one of her best friends and her best partner in crime when it came to manipulation. Granted, he had tried to hook up with her and Serena from seventh grade and on, but he was usually not so relentless about it. Now, he couldn't stop hanging their past over her head. She wished she had never slept with him- twice- and she wished things could go back to the way they were. But she knew that wasn't possible, so she had to endure the feelings of anger that crept under her very fingernails every time she was around him- reminded of the wrong he had done and the friendship they had lost.

As she walked, she was reminded of the old times. Specifically, she remembered going to the Hamptons the summer before her freshmen year. She thought of how Serena, Nate, Chuck, and she had all gone to the trashy clubs that belonged to townies, eaten hot dogs in town at midnight, gone swimming at sunrise, slept over each other's Hampton houses, eaten breakfast together at noon, and just have the most fun laughing and talking and taking goofy Myspace pictures that the rest of the Upper East Side kids they went to school with would envy.

After two weeks of the Hamptons, Blair received the news that her paternal grandfather had died of a stroke. She had cried for hours as she thought of losing the senior Yalie- the one who had always taken her on his knee and hugged her tight, smelling of cigar smoke and Altoids. Even though he had died the previous day, she immediately realized that she missed the feel of his sweatervests and his wrinkly smile and booming laugh. Without telling any of her friends what had happened, she had locked herself in her room, crawled under the covers, and ignored all the calls and texts she received. It was around four in the afternoon when all three of her best friends showed up, armed with Burger King and some black-and-white classics. They comforted her and made her laugh and made sure she stuffed greasy, salt-covered fries into her face. And then, they had returned to New York early with her so they could be there for the funeral with her. She had been so unspeakably grateful for them, and all the hand-holding they had done.

Now she, Nate, Chuck, and Serena were not the fab four anymore- the non-judging Breakfast Club had disintegrated. They were the dysfunctional separates, and she absolutely hated it.

* * *

Dan wasn't going to lie. It was weird to have Nate living with them. I mean, he had given up his bed to the guy after one weekend hanging around at Yale, and one day of playing soccer. He didn't regret it at all. It was just weird. Especially since Nate and Blair had been together- had even had sex. He tried not to think about that though. It was just abnormal to feel like they couldn't all completely be how they were freely, when they had a guest always there. Nate was trying to be really good about it, and gave them their complete privacy. But, there were always crossed boundaries and whatnot.

Like when Jenny walked in on Nate in the bathroom, dressed in only a towel around his waist.

Yeah, Dan wasn't cool with that.

Especially when Nate commented on Jenny's hair and watched her walk away with a smile permanently set to his face.

"Uh- You almost ready for school?" he asked, breaking the boy out of his reverie.

Nate looked a little guilty, and he said, "Oh-Yeah- I'm just- I just have to get dressed real quick," and he disappeared down the hall.

Dan thought he was just being over-judgmental again and a little accusing, so he shrugged it off. It was him, it wasn't Nate or Jenny- it was just him being stupid.

_Nate couldn't possibly be into a tenth-grader, could he?_ he quickly texted Blair.

Within a minute, he had a response: _I don't know, his hug with your sister outside of my birthday party landed on Gossip Girl last year. You tell me, you're the one living with him.  
_  
That didn't make him feel better.

_Out of all the years you've known him, could he be into a sophomore?_

The response was: _No, that sounds more up to Chuck's standards._

Dan knew that much was true.

_Why?_ she texted again right after. _Is he going to rob your sister's cradle?_

He really couldn't handle her sarcasm right now, when he was so freaked out what she was saying was accurate.

_If he does, you'll get your wish of me kicking him out._

After a few seconds, she texted back with: _Well, when you're in Brooklyn do as the Brooklyn's do.  
_  
_Thanks for being of zero help._

She texted back after a moment saying: _My pleasure._

Just then, Nate emerged back into the kitchen and Dan hastily shut his phone.

"You ready to go?" he asked.

Dan nodded, edging the guilt and accusation out of his voice and saying, "Yeah, let's go."

Let's see how this all turns out.

* * *

Between second and third period, Dan crossed paths with Serena in the courtyard. She gave him a scathing look, so he stopped her.

"Serena, can we talk for a minute?" he asked, putting a hand out to keep her from going around him.

She crossed her eyes, looking tired and saying, "I have to get to class."

"We have ten minutes," he reminded her. "This will take five."

She stared at him, and he looked at her pleadingly.

"Fine," she said. "Five minutes."

They moved and sat down at one of the tables in the courtyard. He looked at her, finding it odd to not have that same lurch of longing and admiration every time he made eye-contact with her or stared at her at all- like he knew he now had with Blair. When he looked at her now, he just felt comfortable and amiable- the way he felt toward a friend. It was disconcerting, but wonderful at the same time.

"What?" she prompted.

He sighed, "Look, I'm really sorry about last week- I was hanging out with Nate and he was going to the party," he explained. "He said no one would mind if I went."

"You were hanging out with Nate?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

He nodded, "Yeah, we're friends now."

"And you didn't think to check with me before coming over to my mother's housewarming party?" she countered.

"I know- I wasn't thinking."

Well, he was thinking, but only about the fact that Blair would be at the party.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone."

She nodded, "You shouldn't have, but- I shouldn't have- the whole thing with Amanda in September shouldn't have happened."

Dan nodded too.

"Look, Dan, I don't want to fight with you or be at odds," she said earnestly. "I just- I hope we can be friends."

"Of course we can," he said. "That's all I've wanted."

She smiled genuinely now, saying, "Me too."

The five minute bell rang and she stood up, as did he.

"I'll, uh- I'll see you around?" she asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, I'll see you."

She smiled, and crossed the courtyard, disappearing inside.

Dan entered into the opposite wing of the building and headed toward his history class. Just before he reached the classroom, he felt a hand on his arm.

Turning, he saw Blair standing there with a sweet smile on her face.

"Dan Humphrey," she said, speaking as if they were light-years away from being in any kind of relationship. "I need your help with a poem we're reading in English."

He played along and said, "Okay."

"It's called, 'So You're Suddenly Friends Again' by W.T.F. Humphrey."

He smirked a little, saying, "Yeah, I've heard of it."

"Is it based on a true story?"

"Yes."

She shook her head, and as the hall cleared she leaned in and hissed, "What the hell? Last I heard, you two hated each other?"

"I don't like holding grudges against people, and it's stupid for Serena and I not to get along," he replied softly.

"Now it's going to be ten times harder for us to be a secret!" she said vehemently, looking around to make sure no one was paying them any attention.

He shook his head, "Blair, I already told you- Who cares?"

"I do!" she jabbed her own chest. "She'll hate me!"

He shrugged, "Don't do the crime if you can't do the-"

"Oh, shut up Humphrey!" she said, and turned, stalking away.

As she disappeared down the now deserted corridor, he couldn't help but laugh a little.

* * *

Blair knew that Serena was frequenting Dan's father's gallery, but she didn't know why. So, the paranoia was imminent. Were the two rekindling their love affair? Or was Serena just suddenly interested in art? This whole thing- that the two were now trying to be friends again- made her nauseous and nervous. She wouldn't be able to handle it if he and Serena got back together- or worse, if Serena found out what was happening behind her back. Of course, Blair felt guilty, but mostly, she felt confused and full of twisted emotions.

Growing defensive, she showed up at the gallery one day, with the pretense that she was looking for Serena.

Instead of finding the blonde, she found Chuck.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

She smirked, "I'm looking for Serena. What are _you_ doing here?"

"Finishing up some details concerning Vanessa's bar," he answered, his voice husky and smooth.

She nodded, clearly suspicious. Smiling, she replied, "Uh-huh."

"Chuck, I found the- Blair," Vanessa said, entering the cafe with a folder. The smile that had been on her face dropped immediately.

Blair smiled sweetly, "I'm looking for Serena- do you know if she's here?"

"Dan's picking up something at the loft, so I think she's waiting in the gallery," she said.

"Thanks," Blair responded. "I'll leave you two alone, then."

As she exited the cafe and found her way into the gallery, she heard Vanessa hiss, "What was that about?"

The gallery was in slight undress. The works on the wall were half-finished, canvas sheets littered the floor, flood lights were set up here and there, there were ladders placed in intervals on the floor, a bunch of electrical equipment was set up in one corner of the room, and a handful of people were working on various projects. Stepping delicately around a makeshift wall, she happened upon Serena and a dark-haired guy in dorky glasses, talking and looking at the white lettering that glistened freshly on the gray wall.

"Blair!" Serena said brightly, beckoning her over. "What are you doing here?"

She walked over to them, easily saying, "Looking for you."

"Oh," the blonde nodded. "This is Aaron Rose," she said. "He's the artist."

Blair gave him a flinch of a smile saying, "Congratulations."

"Aaron, this is my friend, Blair."

He nodded, "Nice to meet you."

"We were just talking about his show," Serena explained. "You were saying there was going to be an audio aspect."

He smiled, "Yeah." Turning, he called to a guy at the electrical equipment, saying, "Larry, can you turn on the mics?"

The guy nodded, tweaked at some buttons and dials, and then nodded to Aaron.

He gestured to the girls to say something.

Serena giggled, and it echoed all around them.

"That's not at all like Big Brother," Blair muttered, and it was amplified over them.

She had no patience for this wannabe hipster.

Serena gave her a dirty look, turning to Aaron to smile and ask, "I don't get it. Where's the mic?"

"There's a bunch all around the gallery," he explained.

"I hope people only have nice things to say," the blonde replied. "'cause you're gonna hear them."

He watched her, smiling. Blair knew that face, that was the Oh-I've-Fallen-for-Serena-van-der-Woodsen face, and she had seen it a hundred times. It made her nauseous. She made a noise of being disgusted and it, of course, echoed around them.

"You guys should come to the show and see how it goes," he said. Blair knew he really meant, "Serena, I want you at the show."

"Serena, Blair."

Both girls turned, just as Dan entered the room.

"Dan," they both said at the same time.

"I see you guys have met Aaron," he said as he approached them.

Serena nodded, "Yeah, he was showing us the cool mic tricks."

Blair couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"You guys should come to the show," Dan said, deliberately making eye-contact with Blair. "It's going to be really great once it's done."

Blair stared into his eyes, as Serena and Aaron giggled and looked at one another in their own little dream world- she might just have to take up the offer of going to see this podunk little hipster's work after all. She glanced at Serena and Aaron and saw them shyly sneaking looks at each other.

Or maybe she just wouldn't go at all.

* * *

The morning of the show, Chuck entered the kitchen as Blair was drinking a hot chocolate and reading InTouch.

"I don't know what you think that was yesterday- with me being at the cafe- but I was just closing the deal," he said.

Blair smirked at him, "Did I say it was anything else?"

"You implied it, which is almost worse," he replied, leaning against the counter angrily.

She shrugged, looking down at the magazine again and flipping the page. "I don't care who you're interested in, Chuck, so long as I'm not invited to the wedding-"

"There's nothing going on between me and Vanessa," he insisted.

Without looking up, she said, "Okay."

There was silence between them, and Blair had been expecting a retort. She looked up and met Chuck's eyes.

"I'm being honest with you Blair," he said, his voice suddenly desperate and sincere. "I kissed her- yes- but we've talked about it since then," he explained. "It was a mistake and now we've decided to be civil and friendly because of business."

Something in his voice made Blair truly believe him, and she nodded, saying, "Okay."

"You believe me now?" he asked.

She nodded again. "So you guys are _friends_ now?" she asked with a smirk.

He gave her a cold turn of the lips, saying, "Hardly. Vanessa is too self-righteous for me."

Blair rose an eyebrow.

"As is Humphrey- for you."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm not in the mood for your psychosis right now, Chuck."

He laughed, deep within his chest and shook his head, "The truth will come out some time, Waldorf." He turned and moved to exit the kitchen.

"There's no truth that needs to come out!" she shouted back shrilly, as he disappeared out the door.

Isn't there?

* * *


	10. There Might Be Blood

**Author's Note:** It's been forever, I know. I'm sorry. Hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner. Enjoy.

**There Might Be Blood**

"No- Blair will take her to a movie."

Blair looked at Serena as if she had just shaved her own head off and told Blair to eat her golden locks. What hadn't the blonde heard? The part where the stupid teenage girl was happy by herself, or the part where she was happy with her _Harry Potter_ book? Blair was going to kill her best friend for offering her up to this nerdy fifteen-year-old's mother.

"I would do it myself but I have something with my family, so...."

Serena looked at her and Blair was about to protest, but Mrs. Bordmen said, "Why, Emma would love that." She looked at Blair and briefly asked, "You sure you don't mind?" She didn't even wait for a response before saying, "Emma, dear, come here."

When the woman looked over to her, Blair forced a smile and said, "Anything for the friends of Dean Baraby."

If she wanted to get into Yale, sucking up was going to have to be a necessity.

Emma entered the room, in a white and red sweater and matching skirt, looking uptight and obnoxious. She was a nerdy lover of Harry Potter, but things could have been worse. At least she didn't _look_ like too much of loser. Blair couldn't help rolling her eyes just a little bit anyway.

"Emma, Serena's friend-" the woman cut herself off to look at Blair- as if she had forgotten her name.

As if she had just tasted something bitter, the brunette said, "Blair."

"Yes," the woman continued. "Would like to take you to a movie."

Emma looked at Blair and mechanically said, "Oh, thank you."

Smiling brightly- as if her idea was genius, Serena said, "This is going to be fun," as the girl's mother left the room.

Blair looked at Serena, raising her eyebrows- as if suggesting she was insane- and then looked to Emma and gave her a reassuring smile. Emma laughed a little, but her smile was wan.

It was then that Blair realized her future at Yale depended on what this girl told her mother, so she had to make this trip to the movies fun and entertaining. She had to make it so good that Emma told her mother all about how amazing Blair was, just so it would get back to the dean.

Her stomach knotted up and she continued to force her smile, her fingers itching to text Dan.

* * *

The moment Dan saw Agnes wheeling a cart, covered by a bulging canvas, exiting Jenny's room, and Jenny following after her- both of them dressed in black- he knew something was up. And when his sister saw him and said, "Dan, what are you doing here?" he very nearly kicked Agnes out and ordered his sister to change out of her dramatic attire and into Strawberry ShortCake footies.

Instead, he tried to keep his voice level and he asked, "What am I doing here? What are _you_ doing?"

"Oh, brother," Agnes said, and she abandoned the cart, moving across the room and taking her phone out of her pocket.

Behind Dan, Nate was staring at the scene before him.

Dan strode forward and met his sister by the cart.

"What is this?" Dan asked, gesturing to the cart. "What's going on?"

Jenny jumpily replied with, "Nothing."

"Nothing? This doesn't look like nothing," he bellowed. "This better be for Eleanor."

Biting her lip, she quietly replied, "I quit Eleanor's."

"What?" he asked, feeling as if he had just been shoved into a universe where he had no idea what was going on. "You quit Eleanor's?"

"I had to, she was using me," Jenny argued.

Dan shook his head, "Does Dad know about this? What am I saying? Of course Dad doesn't know about this- You haven't been shipped off to a convent yet!"

"Hey," Nate said, walking over to Dan. "Just take it easy-"

"Look, I'm sorry Nate," Dan said, losing inches of his patience every minute. "But this isn't any of your business."

And it wasn't. Not only was Dan suspicious of what Nate felt for his sister, but now he was an interloper in family affairs? No. That is where he drew the line. For a brief moment he wondered if Blair was right- he wondered if he had made the right choice by asking Nate to live with them. But he knew he had. Nate needed the help, and he had done the right thing- not matter what he was interfering in.

"Dan, I promise I'll tell Dad everything tomorrow," Jenny said, her voice bordering on pleading. "But I really need tonight- I've worked so hard for this."

In an instant, Dan wished Blair was there- he felt like she would be able to handle the situation, figure it out, and do what was right to put his sister in line. Because he was convinced that she was getting extremely out of line.

He snapped, "For what? What is this?"

He tried to pull the canvas up, but she swatted his hand away, "Stop it!" Then, after a pause, she said, "We're putting on a guerilla fashion show."

Dan wondered if he had heard her correctly.

_Now I definitely wish Blair was here_, he thought.

"What? I-I don't even know what that is," he said.

"Okay," she replied. "These dresses- I made them, and Agnes and her friends are going to model all of them," she explained. "Please, Dan, tonight is the one night I have to show everyone what I can do."

His sister sounded so passionate, and she was pleading him to do this for her. He felt his resolve slipping. It had never been easy to deny his sister of the things that she wanted- unless he knew for sure that they were harmful- but a fashion show? That couldn't hurt anyone, could it?

Oh Humphrey, how little you learn.

* * *

So, the little Harry Potter fan wasn't so into magic and ice cream as she had let her parents believe. No, Emma was more into being devirginized and getting drunk than she was into spells and Haagen-dazs. And because of this, she had threatened Blair into helping her achieve her goals, or so help her she was going to tell the dean that Blair was a bad baby-sitter, and what's more, a bad person who got fifteen-year-olds drunk. Basically, if she didn't find the girl some alcohol and someone to deflower her, Blair could kiss her future good-bye. And what if Emma's parents found out what Blair had helped their daughter do? Well, then Blair would really be screwed. But if she lost their daughter, who then got drunk and devirginized? Then Blair would be looking at life from behind bars, she was sure.

But, after she had managed to get Emma into the van der Bass apartment and into some of Serena's clothes, Chuck had gone and ruined everything. It would have been so easy- to take Emma to Bart and Lily's charity event and feign shock at how lame it was later- but now, they had lost the little tart, and Blair was feeling the pressure.

Anxiously, as Serena tried interrogating the butler again- to see if Chuck had made any mention of where they would go- Blair called Dan with shaking hands.

"Hello?" he answered, and he sounded hassled.

"Dan!" Blair said frantically. "Oh my God! You will not believe what happened!" and then she fell into a rush of recounting what had happened- from being wrangled into baby-sitting Emma, to her desire to lose her virginity, to her disappearing with Chuck.

When she finished, Dan said, "Look, I'm really sorry I can't be of any help to you right now- but my sister is missing."

This stalled Blair momentarily, and she asked, "What?"

"Yeah, she's putting on some fashion show thing and she disappeared with some model's friends and Nate," he said, sounding extremely tired.

Blair reiterated, "Nate?"

"Yeah," Dan growled. "And when I see him again, I'm going to kill him."

In the background, Blair heard a car beeping. "Who is that?" someone- sounding oddly like Vanessa- asked.

"My friend, Ben," Dan lied.

Blair rolled her eyes.

"Smooth, Humphrey," Blair muttered.

"Listen, I have to go- I'm sorry about your problem- but could you let me know if you see Jenny or hear about her by any chance?" Dan asked, and he sounded truly worried.

Blair sighed, wishing he wasn't so busy, so that he could help her with her own problem, or at least try to calm her down. Instead, she said, "Sure."

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later," he said, and he hung up.

Clutching her phone in her hands, Blair jumped a little when Serena entered the room.

"Did he hear anything?" she demanded.

The blonde shook her head and sat down, "He said Chuck only asked him to give me the ring and that was it."

Blair started pacing, "Did you try calling him?"

Serena nodded, "He didn't answer."

Blair groaned.

"Calm down, B," Serena said, tapping at the keys on her BlackBerry. "We'll find them."

The brunette couldn't bear to think about what would happen if they didn't.

"Text him!" she said hysterically.

"I've texted him six times," Serena replied, putting her phone on the arm of her chair.

Getting frantic, Blair shouted, "Well, text him again! Before he screws that girl and any other chance I had at getting into Yale!"

"I put a heads-up on Gossip Girl and have all of the girls keeping an eye out," Serena said calmly, and Blair wanted to shake her for being so at-ease. "Chuck!"

Blair turned and saw Chuck entering the room. "You!" she shouted, and strode up to him. "What did you do with her?" she pushed him.

"Hey!" he said, sounding only a little hassled. "She assaulted _me_- demanded I deflower her."

"Iz just texted me," Serena announced. "She said the bartender at One Oak said E. Bordmen used her credit card there."

Blair sighed in relief, "Good, let's go!"

* * *

Dan wanted to be there for Blair while she was dealing with a fifteen-year-old trying to have her virginal flower plucked, but her problems paled in importance to his own.

He had told Jenny he needed time to think about whether she could go and throw this fashion show or not. He had gone down to the cafe to talk it through with Vanessa, leaving Nate to make sure the girls didn't leave. And now? Now they were all missing, and Nate was completely to blame. Though he called both their phones multiple times, as he, Vanessa, and Rufus had scoured Brooklyn by taxi and by foot, neither of them had answered. So now, back at the loft, he was getting frantic.

"We give that boy a roof over his head, food, support, and he does this?" Rufus fumed in the living room, clutching the cordless phone in his hand.

Vanessa shook her head, saying, "Dan, I told you Nate was questionable.

Before Dan could reply, his phone beeped in his pocket.

Grabbing for it, he found that he had a text from Blair.

Blair: _Dan- cant call you- trying to find little sex-crazed bitch. Found Jenny. Check Gossip Girl. Sorry._

He wasn't sure what she was apologizing for, but he didn't think about it. Instead, he hurried into his room and plugged in the Gossip Girl URL, Rufus and Vanessa following behind him.

As they stood in the doorway, he watched the site pop up, making him nearly choke on his own saliva.

Right in front of him, was a picture of Jenny and Nate. Kissing.

Now he understood why Blair had apologized. She had wanted to help him find his sister, but didn't like being the bearer of his bad news.

"What?" he sounded.

"What is it?" his father asked.

Dan quickly looked away from the screen, "Nothing- Gossip Girl. They're at The Palace."

"What? Let me see-"

"No," Dan said, closing his laptop. "There's nothing to see, let's just go- Now."

The three of them hurried downstairs and stood on the sidewalk, waiting for a cab. When they had secured one and were all sitting in the back seat, Dan managed to text Blair.

Dan: _Thank you. Sorry I can't be of more help to you.  
_  
She texted back soon after.

Blair: _Thats okay. Sex-crazed bitch on the move again- apparently trying to hook up with some Euro-trash named Serge.  
_  
Dan couldn't help but laugh a little.

Dan: _Sorry to hear that.  
_  
Blair: _Ur not going to kill Nate, are you?_

Dan's jaw clenched.

Dan: _I'll let you know._  


* * *

Blair felt her whole body relax when she had a picture of Emma's mother and another man in a heated lip-lock, securely saved on her phone. But, of course, Serena wasn't allowing her to share that ease.

"Blair, you are not using this woman's affair to get into Yale."

Shaking her head, Blair said, "Serena, open your eyes! This is a sign from God- He wants me to do this!"

"This family needs help!" Serena shouted.

The self-righteousness of her friend was making Blair nauseous, but it also made her briefly think of Dan.

"Well, no argument there- They're even more screwed up than yours!"

Serena then got a text, looking down at her phone for a moment, she sighed and said, "Whatever, Blair. I'm late for my mom's event. Do whatever you want," and she hurried away.

Blair was left standing by the bar, thinking it over.

What should she do: Save Emma or just use the picture to blackmail Mrs. Bordmen into putting in a good word with the dean?

Something that sounded an awful lot like Dan's voice filled her head, sounding snarky and incredulous, saying, "You're not actually thinking about this, are you?"

Blair groaned. Fine, she would find Chuck, find the address of this Serge, and save the little troublemaker.

If only Dan would stop talking to her VIA her own subconscious.

* * *

In the cold darkness of Central Park later that night, Dan and Blair sat together on a bunch, sides pressed together, drinking hot chocolate.

"I'm glad I kicked him out," Dan said.

Blair shook her head, "He's homeless."

Dan only felt a twinge of guilt, and he replied, "He has rich friends."

She gave him a look and stared at him dubiously.

"He does."

They sat in silence for a moment, both mulling over their own thoughts.

"What happens now?" Blair asked. "What's your dad going to do about Jenny?"

After placing his arm around Blair's shoulders, Dan shook his head, "I don't know."

"I'm not exactly a fan of hers, but that fashion show was pretty impressive," Blair said, looking up at Dan."

He looked down at her and tried not to smile, saying, "Don't try to make this okay."

"Why?" she smiled. "Dan, come on! She's going to get so much publicity."

He shook his head, saying, "I hope she gets a severe punishment- that's what I want her to get."

She smirked a little, but didn't say anything.

"What happened with your sex-crazed bitch?" he asked, a smile finally donning his lips.

"Saved her without blackmailing her mother," Blair said, feeling surprisingly proud of herself for doing the right thing. Dan gave her a confused look and she just waved him off with her free hand, saying, "Just know that you're making me a better person."

He smiled at her, "Am I?"

"Yes," she replied, smirking at him.

"Are you sure that's my doing?" he asked.

She nudged him with her shoulder, saying, "I'm no better on my own."

He smiled down at her, looking hungrily at her for a moment before he leaned forward and kissed her.

* * *


	11. Bonfire of the Vanity

**Author's Note:** It has been forever. I've had so many things to work on- school work, other writings, research papers, extracurriculars- it's been a little crazy. And let's not forget that things in the Gossip Girl world have swung so far away from Dair that it's hard to cope. But I'm willing to take on the challenge- things might get seriously rewritten, but I'll do my best. So I've buckled down to work on this chapter, and here it is- nearly twice the size it usually is. I'm so grateful for the support I've been receiving for this story. Your patience and your reviews are so appreciated! Hope everyone likes _Bonfire of the Vanity_!

**Bonfire of the Vanity**

Blair knew there were so many things she could be freaking out about as of late, but she found that she was much calmer than she normally would be. Her mother's new boyfriend, the impending eighteenth birthday party that wasn't being planned exactly to her liking, Serena's crunchy new artist boyfriend who was just '_so romantic_,' or the stress of keeping her grades up for Yale. She could have so easily taken her pick, but really, she didn't want to. Instead, she chose to look at everything positively, or take it all with a grain of salt. A dashing step-dad could be great for her mother _and_ her. The party would come together just fine, she would make sure of it. Aaron was just a fling that Serena was obsessed with for the time-being- at least it wasn't Dan, right? And Yale would accept her, she could feel it. Everything- no matter what it was- would come together. Chalk it up to her anti-anxiety medication finally working- she didn't really know why- but things were finally starting to feel like they were- or would soon be- coming together.

"Dorota, hurry up- Cyrus will be here any minute!"

Her mother beamed as she entered the room, saying, "Cyrus is the most attractive, brilliant man I have ever met." Blair smiled for her, as her mother said, "You will absolutely love him."

"I kind of already do," she replied. She saw the white roses on the mantle and hurried over, saying, "Dorota! I told you- Put the roses _next_ to Cyrus's seat- Cary Grant always looked his best with white roses!"

She watched as Dorota arranged the massive display of white roses by the guest's seat, saying, "Yes, Miss Blair."

"And- is this the everyday china?" she asked, ready to snap.

The maid looked down at the place settings and looked to be in serious thought.

_Blair, calm down_, she could just hear Dan saying. _It's just china._

"We might have enough time- change the place settings," she said, stern but calm.

Walking to the doorway upon hearing the elevator open, she saw a short, bald man enter the penthouse. He was approaching her mother, saying, "Eleanor! You look like a goddess!"

This couldn't- this _wasn't_-

Blair was going to be sick.

"That must be his driver," she said, her voice catching in her throat.

But the man- who was a whole head shorter than she was- was kissing her mother, and then demanding more. No. There was no way. Blair was seriously going to throw up. This man- this man who didn't even compare with her own handsome, classic father- was not going to be her step-dad.

Striding forward, Blair stopped a few feet from her mother and the elf.

"Darling, I'd like you to meet the wonderful Cyrus Rose," her mother said, putting her hands on his shoulders.

What the hell was her mother thinking?

The bald shorty said, "The lovely Blair!" and he hurried forward, wrapping his stubby arms around her. She tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let go. When he finally backed away, he said "Not enough!" and hugged her again.

This was not happening. This was _not_ okay.

"It's so good to meet you!" he said enthusiastically, finally letting her go. "You're even more beautiful than your mother said."

Blair tried to smile, but it felt like her face was twisting in half and she managed to say, "Thank you so much," but it came out like a question.

"Let's go into the living room for drinks," Eleanor suggested. "Dorota? Drinks?"

The maid nodded and left the dining room.

As her mother and Cyrus walked toward the living room, Blair stopped and stared.

This was not happening- this was not her mom's boyfriend. Her gut reaction was to stop this from happening- to make her mother realize this was a mistake and to get rid of Cyrus Rose. Instead, she did what her second gut reaction told her to do- what the little voice in the back of her head made her yearn to do, because she needed the support and the strength.

"I need to check on something," she announced. "Excuse me for a moment," and she turned and gracefully fled up the stairs.

Once she was in the safety of her bedroom, with the door closed behind her, she pulled out her phone, and with her hands shaking, she sent Dan a text message.

_I think I'm going to push someone down an elevator shaft. Save me._

* * *

Dan wasn't sure if he knew what Shapiro and Woolfe were asking of him. Write an exposﾎ on Bart Bass. Reveal Chuck's dad for the selfish, man-eating business tycoon that he was. And all because of the fictional piece he had written on Charlie Trout. Granted, it was based entirely on Chuck Bass and the little piece of information he had revealed about losing his mother and having a tough relationship with his father- but most of it had been fleshed with fiction. It had taken him a lot of guts and some serious cajones to write that story- especially after all the blows Chuck had dealt him for knowing what he knew- but he had done it and sent it to Shapiro. Now these men wanted him to write something- something real and _revealing_- about Bartholomew Bass? And have it published in _New York_ magazine?

"You just grew a pair, Humphrey," Shapiro said from his seat beside Woolfe in the smoky Village restaurant. "Don't lose them now."

Published in _New York_ magazine? Well, that would certainly get him a one-way ticket into Yale, especially if the senior editor gave him a chance to do another article, on top of this one. But he already had his letter of recommendation, he didn't need this too. He wasn't that kind of person.

Shapiro leaned forward and said, "This opportunity could open real doors for you."

He was right about that- Dan couldn't deny the fact that this was a serious opportunity being handed to him- an opportunity that some part of him wanted to accept wholeheartedly. However, there was still a part of him that knew this was wrong- knew that revealing the dirty details of a man's past was not decent. He thought of how disappointed his father had sounded right before he left. But how could he be so disappointed in _this_? Dan would get paid for this exposﾎ, not to mention the publicity he would earn and the fact that he would be able to work for the magazine again. It seemed unreal- all the hard work of getting published, all the slaving and the rejection- he could skip that. Someone was _asking_ him to write for them! It was almost too good to be true.

He was suddenly pulled out of his reverie by his phone vibrating in his pocket.

Ignoring the incoming text message, he looked at both of them and knew he couldn't agree to this right now.

"Can I get back to you on that?" he asked. "I don't need much time- I could tell you tomorrow or later tonight-"

The editor nodded, "Get back to us tonight. We'll need to start on this soon."

Dan nodded and stood, "Thank you." He shook both of their hands, thanked them again, and then left the restaurant.

Retrieving his phone from his pocket, he read the text he had from Blair.

_I think I'm going to push someone down an elevator shaft. Save me.  
_  
He froze outside on the sidewalk, his footsteps stalled by the text message.

What would Blair think if he took up the chance to write for the magazine? How would she feel if he worked to reveal the skeletons in Bart Bass's closet?

I'm not sure, but I think the answer is: Not happy.

* * *

On Thursday night, after Eleanor and Cyrus had gone out for drinks and Blair had given Dorota the rest of the night off, Dan came over. The moment he stepped into the foyer, she grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs to her bedroom, complaining with each step.

"My mom's new boyfriend is a dwarf," she said- Dan hardly even listening to her as they went. "I honestly don't know what she sees in him. Like, really- he's bald, and at least a foot shorter than she is!"

When they reached her bedroom she pulled him inside and slammed the door behind them.

Taking his bag off of his shoulder for him, she dropped it onto the floor and put her arms around his neck, smiling. Tilting her head a little, "But let's not talk about them." Kissing him enticingly, but briefly, she let their lips linger before one another, breathing, "We have all night to _not_ talk."

Dan kissed Blair back, he even trailed his hands up her sides and let her take off his jacket and start unbuttoning his shirt, but when she had pushed him onto the bed and was trying to work his shirt off completely, he stopped her, sitting up and pushing her away a little. She stared back at him, curious and a little annoyed. Having Dan over was supposed to be distracting her, but if he was going to start preaching to her about being a good person and giving Cyrus Rose a chance, she might just have to kick him out.

"What?"

Dan glanced at her briefly, then rubbed his face in frustration.

"What?" she reiterated, losing her patience.

"If I was offered a job to write for _New York_ magazine, you would tell me to take it, right?" he asked, looking at her floor.

She narrowed her eyes at him and sat back on her heels, suspiciously saying, "Yes."

Letting out a breath, he asked, "What if the job was writing an article that revealed the truth about someone- a truth they didn't want getting out?" He finally looked her in the eye, saying, "Would you tell me to take it then?"

"Yes," she responded. "If the truth fits."

He nodded to himself, knowing he wasn't exactly telling her the truth, but was too frustrated to actually go into detail.

"Why? Did you get offered a job with _New York_?"

He only nodded.

"You have to take it," she told him, sounding like this was the most obvious thing in the world. "Get off your pedestal and do something selfish and dirty for once, Humphrey!"

Looking over at her, he saw the smile on her face and the look of pride she was wearing, and he couldn't help but smile a little- if only in reaction to her enthusiasm. For a moment, he thought only about Blair and how beautiful she looked, and how her body seemed to be buzzing with unleashed energy. Slowly, and with a smirk working its way up his lips, he leaned forward and kissed her softly.

When he pulled away, she was smiling too.

"Speaking of dirty, what were you planning for your mom's boyfriend?" he asked, leaning back again, feeling better about taking the expose.

She rolled her eyes a little, adjusted her seating on the bed, and said, "I don't know- I'll have to dig up some dirt from his past or-"

"Blair."

She looked up, saw the reproach in his eyes and the disapproval in his voice, and she felt herself deflate a little. Defensively, she said, "I'm not letting my mom date a Jewish dwarf!"

"If she's happy, why don't you just let her be?" he countered, reaching over and taking Blair's hand in his.

Feeling stubborn, she said, "No! She's having a temporary lapse of insanity!" She shook her head, "I will not let her marry him-"

"Why?"

She looked at him, surprised, and said, "What?"

"Why won't you let her marry him?"

"Because-" she sputtered. "Because he looks like a dwarf and he's crass and he's a _hugger_! I will not have a hugger for a stepfather-"

He cut her off again, looking as if he were teasing, but also reprimanding her, as he said, "Don't you think that's a little selfish?"

"Selfish?!" she barked. "I'm the one who will have to _live_ with him if they actually get married!"

"Yeah, but- Blair, don't you think your mom deserves this kind of happiness after the divorce and everything," he asked.

The frustration was mounting inside of her. All she had wanted was confirmation that this relationship was not okay- that she wasn't wrong in not approving of her mother dating a Keebler elf. But here he was again- self-righteous Cabbage Patch with an affinity for doing good, telling her she was being selfish. No. She would not have a stepfather who was a short, bald, hugger. What did it matter what Dan said? His moral compass wasn't exactly pointing due north- he was having an affair with her- he was going to reveal someone's messy past, after all.

Shaking her head, she said, "She's not happy with him- She's delusional!"

"Blair-"

"No," she said. "You suck. Get out," and she moved to stand up, but he caught her around the waist and pulled her towards himself.

With their proximity greatly lessened, Blair all but _completely_ forgot about Cyrus and her mother. All she was thinking about was their bodies so close together, the rushing of blood, her pounding heart, the way Dan's eyes were bearing down into hers, and the fact that his lips were close enough for her to kiss him senseless.

With her eyes moving greedily from his mouth to his eyes, Blair said, "I hate you, Cabbage Patch."

"Me too, Waldorf," he whispered with a smirk, and leaned forward, pressing his lips firmly against hers.

* * *

Though Blair was nearly furious with Serena for not helping her take down Cyrus because she needed to go see Aaron, she did take her Grace Kelly suggestion to heart. After all, Blair _had_ said she wanted to be elegant and regal at eighteen. So, she had decided that she would tolerate Cyrus Rose, for her mother and her happiness. That is, she had made the resolution until the little hugger had come over again, after school on Friday, to discuss Blair's party.

"Blair, I'd love to fill this whole penthouse with peonies," he said, looking down at the bill. "But would you let me buy them from a different florist?"

Resisting the urge to break off the arm of the chair she was sitting in, Blair said, "I'd rather get my own peonies from my own florist." Remembering her Grace Kelly resolution, she amended this by quickly smiling and saying, "But thanks so much!"

He put the bill down and turned to her mother, "Now, Eleanor, over dinner you mentioned your fondness for Cyndi Lauper."

Grace Kelly would make conversation, Blair decided, so she smiled and added, "Mom and I love Cyndi Lauper! We used to reenact _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_!"

Eleanor laughed and Cyrus smiled broadly, saying, "Well, I got tickets to see Cyndi Lauper at Joe's Pub tomorrow night! And that way we'll be out of Blair's hair for her party."

"My mom's coming to my party," Blair said suddenly, though she _knew_ she hadn't originally wanted her mother at her party.

Eleanor turned and looked at Blair strangely, still smiling and holding Cyrus's hand. "What are you talking about? You never want me at your parties."

"Yes, but I'm turning eighteen- this is a grown-up party!" she insisted, nearly cringing as she realized how ungrown-up that must sound.

"Then I can return the tickets and we can go some other time-"

Eleanor cut him off, "No, Blair and I will celebrate her birthday on her _real_ birthday- next week. You and I are going to see Cyndi Lauper!" she squealed, pinching Cyrus's cheeks and making kissing faces at him.

Blair was repulsed. Her mother did _not_ squeal, _or_ make kissing faces at anyone, and it was making Blair ill.

Standing up and walking out of the room, she flipped open her phone and quickly texted Dan.

_Remind me that you want me to be a good person and not kill Cyrus._

Moments later, she received a reply.

_I want you to be a good person. Don't kill Cyrus. Try to keep from scheming against him too. For me- devastatingly good-looking and charming.  
_  
She actually laughed a little at that, and she felt her resolve slip.

Fine, maybe she _could_ leave the dwarf alone. Unless he crossed her the wrong way- then, all bets were off.

* * *

Early Saturday morning, when Dan had received an email from an unfamiliar email address- an email that said the sender had information on Bart Bass- he knew it was shady. But the email said if he wanted the information he could meet the person at the corner of Walworth and Park, and- while that wasn't exactly reassuring- it was a public enough place for him to know he wouldn't be mugged or kidnapped without someone seeing. Besides, he wasn't finding anything worth writing about where the Bass industry or Bart himself was concerned, and he was beginning to worry that his expose would be shit. And if it was, then he wouldn't write for _New York_ again. Then it would be like he never even had his foot in the door, and what was the point of that- he would be right back where he started.

That was how Dan found himself walking down Park, at just before ten o'clock on Saturday morning, feeling an overwhelming curiosity gripping his insides as he neared the corner.

Leaning against a whitewashed building on the corner of Walworth and Park was a big, surly-looking guy with a scruffy almost-beard and a flannel jacket. He looked like a lumberjack who wouldn't think twice about swinging an axe at someone who had wronged him- metaphorically and literally. Dan slowed his step as he neared the guy, wondering if this was really the well of information he was looking for- also glad that he had brought a can of pepper spray, just in case. But really, he wasn't even worried for his own health or safety- he was more worried that the whole thing was a setup- that it was anything but legitimate, and that he would end up making a fool of himself or wasting his time.

He had nothing to lose as of yet though, so he approached the guy, saying, "Hey."

The man stood, saying, "You Humphrey?"

Dan nodded.

"I wasn't expecting a kid," the guy said gruffly, looking a little amused.

Dan shook his head, "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but if you have any information I'm right here."

"All right," the guy began, looking around, as if checking to see if they had an audience. "In eighty-seven your friend Bass bought a building in Midtown to convert to condos." So far, this sounded right, so Dan nodded. "The market crashed and he couldn't raise the funds to complete it, so wouldn't you know, that building burnt down."

Staring at the man in front of him, Dan took this information in. Was this man saying Bart Bass had burned down one of his own buildings for lack of money? Bart Bass- arsonist? It was almost too much to take in and believe- too much to trust without further proof.

With his eyebrows knitted, he asked, "Are you saying it wasn't an accident?"

"Kimber building," the guy nodded. "Bass collects the insurance and he goes on to build an empire."

"What- you're saying he actually burned down one of his own buildings?" Dan asked. "_Bart Bass_ didn't have the _money_ to complete it?"

The man shrugged, saying, "He's ruthless- how do you think he got to the top?"

"But, that's a little extreme, don't you think?"

"Check the facts for yourself, kid," he replied. "I'm telling you what I know, but don't take my word for it."

Dan stared at the guy suspiciously, nodding a little.

"And I don't need any kind of thanks or credit either," he said, turning from Dan. "So don't come finding me or contacting me or anything."

As the man walked away, Dan stared at his back, trying to absorb everything he had just learned.

Bart Bass, rising to the top by arson?

Dan could just see his headline now: _Blaze of Glory- or Arson?_

Something along those lines anyway. The whole thing was falling into his lap- so much so, that it was almost too good to be true.

Well, he would have quite a lot of research to do before taking the information as fact.

And he'll probably have some explaining to do as well- if he writes it, that is.

* * *

Blair was standing before her full-length mirror, dressed in her black, silk nightgown and matching robe, with her hair still not done, and just a little make-up on, when Dan appeared in the doorway. He knocked on the frame and looked her reflection in the eye, smiling.

"Hi," she said, smiling as well. "You'll be happy to know that I refrained from breaking up my mother and Cyrus."

He nodded, walking further into her room as she turned around, "That's good."

He didn't sound as thrilled as she had thought he would, but she didn't say anything about it, only raised an eyebrow at him. "How'd you get in here anyway?" she asked. "My mother's home."

"I snuck in with the caterers," he replied.

She smirked, "How delinquent of you."

His smile faltered only a little at this- confusing Blair just enough for her to knit her eyebrows together- and he said, "I need to talk to you about something."

"What?" she asked, already on the defensive.

He stared at her for a moment- as if trying to gauge what her reaction would be to whatever he was going to say- before he finally said, "I don't know how you'll take this, so please just- just hear me out before you say anything."

A million thoughts were whirring through Blair's mind at rapid fire. Was he in love with Serena again? What about Aaron? Did something happen with Jenny? Was he breaking their affair off? Had he told someone about them? Was he angry with her for something? Had he found someone else entirely? She felt sick with pent-up worry, and she swallowed hard.

"What is it, Humphrey?" she asked. "Just spit it out."

He sighed a little, saying, "Do you remember when I told you about that article I could write for _New York_?"

"Yes," she replied cautiously.

"Well, I got the most amazing story- you wouldn't believe it," he said, his smile returning. "A real estate mogul burning down one of his own buildings in the eighties to collect the insurance money." He shook his head, as if he couldn't believe his luck, saying, "An arsonist mogul, Blair."

She smiled a little, liking the drama of it and the way Dan seemed so enthusiastic. "That sounds great! You have to write it!" She furrowed her brow again, saying, "But- why did you think I wouldn't take it well?" and she laughed a little.

At this, Dan hesitated, staring at her a little longer than she would have liked.

"Dan, what _is_ it?"

"The arsonist- the real estate mogul- is Bart Bass."

Something inside Blair's body shifted and she wondered if she had heard him correctly. When she realized she had, she narrowed her eyes at him and reeled back, demanding, "_What_?"

"Blair, it all checks out. Bart bought the building in 1987 and it burned down when the market crashed-"

"So what?!" she countered, suddenly appalled and defensive. She wasn't on the greatest of terms with Chuck, true, but he had always been one of her best friends. And no matter what her feelings for Dan were, she couldn't let him ruin Bart and Chuck like that- she couldn't let him tear up Serena's new faux-family because of an _article_. "I don't care if he confessed to you himself! What are you thinking?"

He shook his head, "I'm thinking that you _told me_ to write the article!"

"Before I knew it was about Chuck's _dad_!" she shouted back, her eyes widening a little in anger.

This made Dan furious. "Oh, so it's okay if it's someone else, but when it's one of your elite own, everything changes?"

"God, get off your high-horse, Dan!" she countered. "This has nothing to do with elitism. This is about ruining my friend's dad and your ex girlfriend's step-dad! It's a shitty thing to do, regardless of where we live."

This hit Dan unpleasantly and he stared at her hard.

"You think everything is _Upstairs, Downstairs_ and it blinds you to the fact that if you look at everyone as just people, you still don't know what the hell you're talking about!" she lashed out harshly.

He laughed bitterly, saying, "That's a little hypocritical, Blair. You didn't look at it as 'just people' when I told you about the article in the first place."

"That's when it was faceless! This isn't just about who _I'm_ friends with, Dan," she said. "You dated Serena, and you're going to ruin her family for a stupid article in _New York_ magazine?"

The fact that she was debasing his possible publication only made him angrier. Hotly, he said, "I didn't come here for your permission, Blair, I came here to tell you what I was doing-"

"Fine, Dan!" she snapped. "You do what you want, but when Bart finds out that it was you who wrote the article, I'm not going to be there to save you."

Dan clenched his jaw at this.

She shook her head and laughed, as if Dan was making an obviously horrible mistake. "I saved you from a Bass once, but I won't do it this time."

"That's fine," Dan replied coldly. "Because I didn't ask you to."

He turned and made to leave the room.

Before he walked through the door, he turned back and said, "I hope you have a nice party," and then left.

Blair shook her head and muttered under her breath, "I hope you have a nice funeral."

* * *

"Mr. Bass, I was hoping I could talk to you about something."

Bart Bass stopped walking through the van der Bass living room, on his way to show Dan something about Bass Industries- Dan couldn't even remember what- and looked at the young man in front of him. As Dan met Bart's eyes, he felt himself grow self-conscious, as if the man's steely-gray irises and peering pupils could see right through him. Dan was going to lie again- lie in order to get more information about the fire and Bart's roll in it- and, while it had become second nature over the past week, it felt wrong this time. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Blair was so against this, that _Blair Waldorf_ had been the one telling the morally upright _Dan Humphrey_ that _he_ was in the wrong- as opposed to the other way around. It made him feel as if he was in an alternate universe, and it made him feel as if he was doing something terribly wrong. And he knew he was, but now he really _felt_ it- with Blair's words ringing his head, and the disgusted look on her pretty face flashing before his vision, it was hard to ignore it.

"Today in the office I heard two of your employees talking," Dan said, hoping his voice wasn't quavering as he spoke. "One of them mentioned a fire- one that you caused- and he sounded pretty sure." Bart's face visibly changed in front of him, and he looked to have a million thoughts skittering around his head. "I came to you because I figured that if there was anything behind it- which I'm sure there isn't- you would want to know before it got around or before they told anyone else...."

Bart looked defeated, and he sighed, saying, "It was bound come back to haunt to me."

Dan's ears perked as the mogul so easily admitted the truth.

"I've had that man's death on my conscious for twenty years," Bart said, looking away from Dan's eyes.

This struck a whole new chord in the young writer's brain, and his eyes instinctively widened.

Surprise thickening his every word, he said, "Death? Someone _died_?"

Bart looked like he was about to say something, when another voice broke through the conversation. "Dad! Don't say anything else. He's writing a story for a magazine."

This made the elder Bass look from his son- who had just strode into the room- to Dan, as if he had just realized a rattlesnake was in the vicinity. Dan, feeling the heat from both Bass glares, looked at them separately, trying his hardest to stand his ground- to look solid and strong and dignified. But Blair's words were echoing in his head- mocking him for how this had all turned so sour, so very quickly. One minute Bart Bass was about to admit to arson- to possible manslaughter- and the next, his son was outing everything Dan was working for. How had Chuck even found out? How hadn't he _guessed_ that Chuck would find out?

Bart took two solid steps toward Dan, and for a moment Dan worried the man was going to hurt him. Then, the elder Bass asked, "So what's going to cost to make this go away?"

If Dan hadn't been shaking with adrenaline and nerves, he would have laughed. Instead, he boldly replied with, "I don't want your money," and he turned to leave the penthouse.

When he was in the elevator though, Chuck stopped the door from closing, leaning forward and saying, "If you tell anyone about what you heard, I will _destroy_ you."

"Chuck," Dan said tiredly. "What happened with that fire is bigger than you or me."

"Exactly," he replied. "It's big enough to ruin _everything_ in our lives- our entire family."

Dan swallowed.

_It's a shitty thing to do, regardless of where we live._

"Don't do it," Chuck said, and he sounded more pleading than Dan had ever heard him before. "Please," and he stepped back, letting the elevator doors shut before him.

* * *

When Blair received the call from Dan, her party- as boring and disappointing as it was turning out to be- was in full swing. She was sipping champagne and talking with Hazel and Penelope when she felt the phone buzzing at her side. Snatching it up before the girls could see who had called, she hid the name on the screen with her thumb. For a moment she thought about ignoring the call and enjoying her party without even thinking about Dan and what he could possibly do to Chuck and Serena and their family. But she was already obsessing over it, and maybe Dan wanted to apologize and beg for her understanding or something. Either way, talking to him had to be better than her party was, so she excused herself and hit SEND.

"What?!" she hissed.

Dan's voice sounded deflated when he said, "Hi."

"What do you want?" she all but spat.

"Come downstairs."

She laughed a little condescendingly, finding a quiet corner of the room to talk, "Excuse me?"

"Please," he said, sounding extremely vulnerable. "I need to talk to you."

Sighing for affect, Blair rolled her eyes and said, "Fine. Five minutes."

When Blair found Dan on the sidewalk he looked tired and slack, and she wondered what could have happened or what he could want to see that made him look like this.

"You look really pretty," was the first thing he said to her when she reached him, and his words sounded like a surrender.

Blair didn't say anything. She just stared at him, waiting.

Dan sighed at her silence, looking down and shoving his hands into his pockets. "Bart found out about the article."

"What?" Blair was suddenly animated, curious to know how the head of Bass industries had taken the information.

"Apparently Chuck knew and he told him," he said. "He offered to pay me to keep quiet."

Blair's heart was beating quickly now, and she prompted, "And?"

"I didn't take it."

She shook her head, "You're an idiot."

"But I'm not doing the article," he said.

Blair stared at him.

"I realized you were right," he looked down for a moment before meeting her eyes again. "It was a shitty thing to do- especially to people so close to us." He shrugged, "I just got caught up in the idea of making it as a writer and having an amazing story...."

Blair smiled sympathetically- which surprised even her- and she said, "It's okay Cabbage Patch, we're all human."

He smiled sadly, saying, "I sent Bart a different story- one about Chuck- that will hopefully help the two of them."

This surprised Blair and she nodded hesitantly.

Dan sighed again, saying, "I'm sorry Blair."

She hesitated, thinking about apologizing as well, before realizing she didn't want to or even feel she had to. Instead, she said, "Good."

He smiled at her attitude.

"You'll have to make it up to me though," she said teasingly.

"And how will I do that?" he asked.

Smiling coquettishly, Blair leaned in and said, "I'm sure I'll be able to think of something," and kissed him in the middle of the sidewalk.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Like pulling teeth, but there you go- chapter ten, ginormous. Hope you liked it!


	12. The Magnificient Archibalds

**Author's Note (A.K.A.. The Apology):** Has it really been two months? Yes, it has. Wow, time flies when you're not updating, huh? About that, I'm extremely sorry that updates with this story are few and far between. With every new episode of _Gossip Girl_, I found myself wondering how I was possibly going to be writing each future chapter- and it was a little discouraging. (The fact that I'm having trouble finding full episodes isn't helping either). Also, it's the most hectic year of my school career yet- what with grades being pivotal this year, SATs, high school proficiency tests, extra curriculars- I'm not going to bore you, but I've been really, really busy. I apologize for this.

The school year is over in two weeks, and after that- since I'm not taking any summer classes, thankfully- I'll have more time to write. (But don't hold me to that because I seriously need a paying job.) I've managed to pick my ass up off the floor though and hammer this chapter out for you. Now I can be certain when I say that things are going to have to get _seriously_ rewritten in future chapters- not just a little twist or tweak, but serious plot changes- if I want to keep things Dair, which I absolutely do. If anyone's against that, I apologize in advance. Hope you all like the chapter- and again, sorry it took so long to update! Thanks for sticking with it!

* * *

**The Magnificent Archibalds**

Dan knew that, whereas, last year's Thanksgiving had been strange and mixed-up, this year was going to be worse. His mom was no longer a part of the family holiday scene, and Jenny still wasn't home, and a Humphrey Thanksgiving for two seemed truly, truly strange and depressing. A holiday with the van der Woodsen's, his mom, Blair, and a whole lot of revealing drama, seemed better than the loneliness that he was sure was going to ensue. But, seeing as the bleak, upcoming weekend was not something he could control, he tried his best to just take it as it came.

He didn't have much chance to even complain either- as he was becoming increasingly occupied with Blair's complaints.

The morning of the day before Thanksgiving found Dan talking to Blair on the phone as he gathered his things for school.

"I'm going to rip my hair out," Blair was saying over the line, as she herself got ready at her dressing table. "His stupid boxes are everywhere- and because his relatives live in East Bumblefuck, they're taking over my house until Sunday!"

Dan laughed as he searched his room for one of his literature books. "Blair, these might be _your_ future relatives- I'd be a little nicer if I were you."

"Don't say that!" Blair snapped. "Ugh, don't make me throw up first thing in the morning, Humphrey."

"I thought you were accepting Cyrus- ever since your party," he reminded her.

She sighed, "Yeah, but Thanksgiving sucked last year and it's _my holiday_- I want this year to be different."

"Maybe it will be a good different with the Roses."

"Have you met Cyrus- or even Aaron, for that matter?" she asked. "They're loud and crass and they belong in Hooverville."

Dan smirked to himself, knitting his eyebrows and looking under his desk for his book. "Hooverville was a shanty village in Central Park during the Depression," he replied.

"My point exactly."

He laughed and shook his head, standing up again to survey the space of his room.

Into the phone, Blair was about to say something, but she was cut off by the sound of a door opening. Dan heard an older woman's shaky voice asking if she had any Pepto Bismol and he laughed out loud.

"No, Sylvia," Blair replied through gritted teeth.

"Who are you talking to?" the voice asked.

Dan tried to stifle his laughter.

"No one- Ask Dorota for something," she said quickly.

"Is it your boyfriend?"

Dan heard Blair get up, say, "I don't have a boyfriend," and usher the pestering woman out of the room.

When she got back on the phone to find Dan laughing, she said, "Shut up."

"You don't have a boyfriend, huh?" he teased.

"Screw you," she replied. "See you at school," and she hung up.

Dan hung up too, still smirking, and he stuffed his phone into his pocket. Just then, he spotted the book he was looking for, sticking out from underneath his bed. He swiped it up, grabbed his bag, and started for the kitchen. He was slipping the book into his bag and making his way into the kitchen when he looked up and saw his father standing at the island counter, looking severely shaken.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

Rufus looked at him as if he had only just noticed him and shook his head, saying, "No- I just got off the phone with Agnes's mother."

This made Dan's heart thud in his chest. What had his sister done now?

"Apparently Agnes is in Tokyo for a month for a job," he explained. "Her mother hasn't seen Jenny in a week and a half."

Somehow, Dan felt as if he couldn't register this, and he blurted, "What?"

Rufus just shook his head, the panic rising in his eyes.

"Where is she?" Dan demanded. "Didn't Agnes's mother say where she went?"

Shaking his head, his father said, "No. I think have to call the police."

* * *

Blair was walking to French from her math class when a hand reached out from the throng of oncoming students, grabbing her arm, pulling her out of the rush and to the side of the hall. When she got a good look at who it was that had affronted her, she caught sight of Dan, looking both shaken and desperate. Instinctively, she looked around to see if anyone was watching them. People were. But the look on Dan's face, and the way he reluctantly let go of her arm, made her forget about everything else and focus on him. A protective and anxious power took hold of her and made her search Dan's face for some clue as to what was going on. He stared back and met her questioning eyes.

"What?" she said, her voice quiet and urgent in the cacophony of the streaming hallway.

Dan nervously rubbed his jaw, his lips twitched. Finally, he said, "Jenny's missing."

This made Blair knot her eyebrows.

"Agnes's mom says she hasn't seen her for a week and a half," he told her, his voice getting a little more hysterical by the slightest of degrees. "Agnes is in Milan and I've called all of her friends- No one knows where she is, Blair." He shook his head desperately, "What if something happened to her?"

Putting a firm hand on his arm, Blair said, "Dan, calm down, I'm sure she'll turn up-"

"Turn up?" he echoed. "She's not a set of keys, she's my _sister_!"

"I know," Blair replied. "But I'm sure she'll come home- I'm sure she's fine."

Dan demanded, "How could you know that?"

"Because-"

"Everything okay?"

Both Dan and Blair turned and came face to face with Serena, approaching them with a curious look on her face.

Blair pulled her hand away from Dan's arm- as if she had been burned- and he faltered, before saying, "Yeah- it's just- I was asking Blair if she had seen Jenny around lately."

Serena looked confused, "Jenny?"

"She's missing," Blair interjected.

"Oh my God, Dan," the blonde said, stepping closer, all suspicion washed from her face. "I'm so sorry- Can I do anything to help?"

Dan shook his head, "No, I think my dad's going to call around a bit before he does anything else- but thanks."

Serena nodded.

"We'll keep an eye out, Cabbage Patch," Blair said, her voice level as she took Serena's arm and led her away. Covertly, she sent Dan a look that conveyed her support- one that he returned with a weary smile.

As they rejoined the lasting throng of students on their way to class, Serena turned to Blair and asked, "Were you actually touching Dan's arm?"

"No!" Blair said quickly, hoping her face didn't look as warm as it felt. "Please- as if I would ever touch something from _Brooklyn_."

"I don't know, it's just- I mean, you actually looked kind of concerned for him," Serena said, her lips actually turning up into some kind of twisted smirk.

Blair scoffed, "Please. I may be a bitch but I'm not completely cold, S. I don't want his sister to be missing."

Serena nodded, trying to pull the suspicion out of her eyes as she said, "Right."

"God, have you been hanging out with Chuck or something?"

"No."

Blair rolled her eyes- because, after all, that had been a semi-rhetorical question- and turned into her French classroom, leaving Serena outside without so much as a 'see you later.'

Once inside, she situated herself in her regular seat- smack dab in the middle of the room- ignoring Fiona Gageman, who was trying to flash a new Tiffany bracelet in Blair's direction, as if the brunette cared. But Blair couldn't even pay attention to Fiona's attempts at popularity, she was too busy chewing over the new development she had just learned.

Jenny was missing.

It made her heart rush in her ears and her fingers itch despite themselves. Truthfully, she wasn't going to lie and say she cared about Jenny Humphrey. Blair Waldorf was not the type of person to become someone's best friend just when tragedy struck. But, like she had told Serena, she wasn't heartless- she didn't want anything bad to happen to Jenny. Also, she _was_ Dan's sister, after all, she didn't want anything bad to happen to him- even indirectly. And Blair knew that if Jenny didn't show up soon, that look of desperation and fear she had seen in Dan's eyes in the hallway wouldn't go away, and she wasn't sure how much of that pained look she could take.

"Bonjour, classe!" Madame DaMallo trilled, sweeping into the room and over to her desk, where she deposited her things, going into a French tirade of asking questions about what everyone thought of the reading they had for homework the night before.

And, while Blair would normally dive in with an immaculate and highly opinionated French explanation of her feelings on the chapters they had read from _Notre-Dame de Paris_, she couldn't bring herself to even focus on anything other than Dan, staring into her eyes, looking as if he needed comfort and support.

That was when she realized that her Thanksgiving couldn't be a good one this year- not when Dan was so preoccupied and Jenny's being missing could be something serious.

Yeah, and it's only a matter of time before something _else_ comes along and tampers with it too.

* * *

Dan, who hadn't been thinking too clearly all day, spent the afternoon in his room, feeling as if he was trapped in some kind maze of distraction. He put on the television in the living room and turned it to a documentary on Mark Twain, hoping to fill up the silence of the empty apartment with comforting narration and canned music. At the same time, he tried to focus on the homework he had for the weekend, but he couldn't concentrate. No matter what he did, he found that he couldn't keep his mind in one place for too long. His thoughts always skittered back to Jenny, and then away again, as if to protect him.

Where was she right now? he wondered, his eyes unable to focus on the math problems in front of him. Was she still in the city?

Unable to control it, Dan's mind flashed to an image of Jenny being grabbed off the street, pulled into a van, abused, violated, hurt in every sense of the word, and then left somewhere- somewhere that she wouldn't be able to return from. He swallowed and shut his eyes tight, fighting away the images.

_She'll turn up_, Blair's voice echoed in his brain. _She'll turn up._

"Where are you, Dad?" Dan muttered to himself for the umpteenth time, bouncing his eraser on his open textbook page. There had been no note or message when he had gotten back from school, and he somehow didn't feel right calling his dad's phone just then, so he sat in the apartment alone, waiting.

With his thoughts drifting again, Dan found himself wondering when the last time he had seen Jenny was. At her fashion show? What was the last thing he had said to her? Hadn't they been fighting the last time they had been together? Hadn't they been angry at each other? He couldn't recall, and it set his teeth on edge. He should have cared more. He should have gotten worried about her disappearance sooner. But he had been angry with her for the fashion show, angry with her for getting involved with Nate, angry with her for running away- there had been no room for caring or being worried. And if anything had happened to her- if they found out something horrible had actually happened- he would blame himself. He would blame himself completely.

Dan jumped when the front door was opened and slammed shut, and he turned to see his father hurrying into the room and pulling his jacket off- agitation and restlessness clear on his face.

"Dad," he said, standing up and walking into the kitchen hesitantly- as if he was afraid he was going to set his father on edge even more. "Did you find anything out? Is Jenny okay?"

"She's fine," his father replied through gritted teeth, beginning to make a pot of coffee with stilted, aggressive movements.

Dan waited, but when Rufus didn't say anything, he asked, "How'd you find her? Where is she?"

"I called Lily," he replied. "Apparently she's been staying there since Agnes left."

"What- and Lily didn't tell you?"

Rufus shook his head, "Lily didn't even know- she and Bart were away." He slammed a drawer closed, and turned to Dan, saying, "Eric's been sneaking her in and out."

Dan felt an immense feeling of relief fill him from toe to head, and he sighed.

"But she's not coming home."

This caught Dan off guard, and he looked at his father questioningly.

Rufus continued, "Lily wants to talk to her first, and then she's decided that she'll arrange a meeting for the two of us."

"But you're Jenny's father- Lily can't-"

"You're preaching to the converted, Dan, I know," he said. "But I'm hoping Lily can talk some sense into your sister. If not, then I don't know what we're going to do."

* * *

_False alarm: J's been hiding out at S's house in secret._

Blair received the text from Dan as she was making her way back down to the kitchen. She wanted to check on her pie- her one remaining semblance of the traditional, perfect Thanksgivings she used to know. She didn't even want a piece of the dessert- probably wouldn't even let anyone eat it tomorrow- because it was just so pretty and perfect- just what a Thanksgiving pie _should_ look like. Besides, her father wasn't here, so she deserved it- deserved to enjoy the process of making the pie with Dorota, smelling the familiar scent of cinnamon and nutmeg as it permeated the whole kitchen, and she deserved to just look at it, pretending she was twelve years old again, about to cut into the pie with her father- back when things were perfect and untouched.

As she descended the stairs, she quickly texted Dan back.  
_  
Glad 2 hear she's okay. Let me know if u need anything._

And then, just as she closed her phone and entered the kitchen, she looked up and saw Cyrus sitting at the island counter, hunkered over a plate of pie- pumpkin pie.

The troll was eating _her_ special pie.

The few good feelings Blair was beginning to have towards Cyrus washed away in one single glance, and she felt her stomach churn against her will.

"Blair," he said, as she slowly made her way towards him- holding herself back from attacking. "This pie is excellent! But the cinnamon to nutmeg ratio?" He winked at her, "Not enough!"

Giving him a flinching smirk, she turned and went to leave the kitchen- to go to her room and rip a pillow or break a window or something!- when she met her mother in the doorway.

"Mother!" she whined, low enough so that Cyrus couldn't hear her. "Why does Cyrus have to ruin everything? First all of his relatives take over, and now he's eating my special pie!"

Eleanor rolled her eyes a little, saying, "Blair, don't be dramatic."

"Mom-"

"Thanksgiving is about family, Blair, and this is our family now, so you better get used to it," she said with finality, cutting her daughter's tirade off before it could even begin. She then turned and walked over to Cyrus, joking with him about leaving some pie for her.

Blair turned and fled up the stairs, stopped on the landing when she came face to face with Dorota.

"We need to make another pie, Dorota," she said, feeling her whole body vibrate with anger over the loss of control.

"Miss Blair, I know something you want to know- but I not suppose to say," Dorota said, looking around Blair, as if her mother would walk up the stairs at any moment.

Narrowing her eyes, Blair demanded, "Spill."

"I'm supposed to keep something safe until tomorrow-"

"Keep what safe?" Blair asked, her voice creeping up slightly.

She gasped when Dorota proffered a ring box.

"Your mama tell me to keep it safe until tomorrow- when she and Mr. Rose announce their engagement to whole family," Dorota said.

Blair snapped the box opened and looked down at the engagement ring inside, feeling everything swirl around her. She saw the pie, eaten and broken- the smooth surface of golden orange smashed into and ruined. She saw her father, in a country where they didn't even celebrate Thanksgiving, creating a family that she wasn't ever going to be truly a part of. She saw all the wonderfully perfect Thanksgivings of the past, and she saw the dismal ones of the future- growing worse and worse with every year. Suddenly, she snapped the box closed and she shoved it back into Dorota's hands, hurrying around her and into her room, where she slammed and locked the door behind her, falling onto her bed and chucking her phone across the room. As much as she would have liked someone to comfort her, she knew she would just bite whoever's head it was clear off their body. So, she lay on her bed alone, breathing deeply, trying to picture anything but holidays and families.

* * *

On Thanksgiving morning, when Dan thought his weekend couldn't get any worse, it did- albeit, marginally so, but still. While he and Rufus were picking up a few last minute things for their makeshift dinner, they bumped into the last person Dan expected- or wanted- to see. Aaron Rose.

"Hey, Dan, Mr. Humphrey," Aaron said, glancing at the things in his hands awkwardly.

Dan glanced at them too. They were pretentious, organic things. He knew exactly why Aaron looked uncomfortable. He knew exactly where Aaron was headed for Thanksgiving.

"I was just picking up a few things before I went over to...." Aaron trailed off.

Sarcastically- almost amiably- Dan said, "It's okay, you can say her name."

"Serena's," the artist finished with a slightly more comfortable laugh.

"I'm just going to see if they have any more pecans," Rufus said lamely, leaving the two alone.

Awkwardly, Dan tried to make up for the strained feeling between the both of them, saying, "Hey, when you go over to Serena's would you mind saying hello to all of them for me," he said, grasping at the only thing he could think of. "We spent Thanksgiving together last year and it would just be.... uh...." he trailed off, unable to clammer over his words anymore.

"Sure- definitely," Aaron said.

They settled into another awkward silence for a minute, and then Dan said, "Are you spending Thanksgiving with the Waldorfs at all?"

"Yeah," Aaron replied, looking slightly surprised. "I'm going over their for dinner after I go to Serena's. How did you.....?"

Dan shook his head, "It's hard not to know everyone's business when you live in this town."

Aaron nodded skeptically, asking, "Are you friends with Blair?"

This made Dan falter, and he said, "Uh- No- Yes- I mean, no, not really." He cleared his throat, "Have you guys gotten to know each other at all through your parents?"

"Not really," Aaron shrugged. "But from what I can see, she's a bit of a spoiled brat over there- you know, controls the whole house like some kind of Upper East Side princess."

Dan thought it was kind of ironic that Aaron was saying this when he himself was, in fact, dating Serena- the girl who basically dominated the Upper East Side as princess. He clearly didn't know Blair, who would gouge Aaron's eyes out, were she informed that he was calling her a _princess_, as opposed to a queen. But on top of that, Dan couldn't help but feel annoyed. Who did Aaron think he was assuming things like that about Blair? And why did he think it was okay to talk about her to Dan like they were pals? Then, to his own horror, Dan realized that Aaron sounded just like he had sounded a few months ago- before he had gotten to know the Queen B herself.

"She's actually not all that bad," Dan found himself saying, his voice hardening beyond his control. "You should probably get to know her before you go around mouthing off about her."

Aaron, again, looked surprised and he faltered. Clearing his throat, he said, "Yeah, well, if the Manolo Blahnik fits."

The guy was so smug and conceited Dan wanted to kick him into the nearest produce stand.

"I'll see you around, man," Aaron said, and he turned and left.

It took everything Dan had in him to keep from picking up the nearest object- a heavy jar of pickles- and hurling it at the back of Aaron's greasy head.

* * *

By Thanksgiving afternoon, Blair had come to a conclusion. If her mother wasn't going to tell her about her engagement before she told everyone else- if she was going to treat her daughter as if she were just another part of the lump of 'family'- then she wouldn't celebrate Thanksgiving with her. So, while everyone was preoccupied with the festivities, and the caterers were doing their thing, Blair grabbed Dorota and left the penthouse.

"Miss Blair this is your favorite holiday," Dorota said, trotting alongside Blair down the sidewalk. "Why don't you just talk to your mama about it?"

"No," Blair snapped. "I refuse to celebrate this holiday anymore- it always ends up getting ruined anyway.

Dorota tried to reason with her. "Miss Blair-"

"No, don't try to convince me otherwise Dorota," Blair said. "We'll walk around the city all day if we have to, but we are not going back there."

Blair knew she was being a little dramatic. She knew it was cold out and that she was hungry, that the penthouse was warm and full of delicious food. But she also knew that the Roses were filling up her penthouse with cheap perfume smells and crass, Jewish-inside-joke-filled stories. She wasn't going to stand for it. And since Thanksgiving was ruined every year anyway- what with her father not being here now, her mother keeping her engagement from her, and her not hearing from Dan all day- she decided that it couldn't get any worse by her walking around the city with Dorota.

* * *

_Whiplash_.

That was the word that entered Dan's mind when his father raced out of the apartment, saying that Lily had called him and that he had to go to the van der Bass's place, that he should keep his phone on and that he would keep him posted. That was what he was feeling- that was the word that described the slew of emotions that had assaulted him over the course of two days. He wanted out of it. He wanted a break. He needed something to take his mind off of all the bad and all the complicated. He needed Blair- who was neither uncomplicated or all good, but to him, she was better than any other way out he could think of.

_How's your Thanksgiving?_ he texted her.

Within a minute, he had a response that read: _I'm walking around the city, freezing my ass off with Dorota to get out of my house. Does that answer your question?_

He couldn't help but smile a little at this, wondering what drama she had gotten herself into now.

_Where are you?_

She replied, _Central Park, feeding ducks._

He quickly typed back: _Don't move. I'll be right there._

* * *

As soon as Dan had sent her the last text saying that he'd be right there, she sent Dorota back to the penthouse, giving her strict instructions to tell no one where she was and leave her to be miserable on her Thanksgiving by herself. Of course, the ever-loyal Dorota tried to refuse leaving Blair, but the brunette insisted, and the maid finally complied. And Blair was grateful too, because not five minutes after Dorota had left, Dan showed up.

"No Dorota?" Dan asked as he approached her, walking alongside the pond.

Blair threw a chunk of bread into the water, sending a flock of ducks to surround it hastily. "I sent her home."

Dan made a face of mock anger, "She was the only reason I came out here!"

"Shut up," Blair said with a smile, shoving half of the loaf of bread she was holding at him.

Breaking off a piece of the bread, he tossed it into the pond silently.

"Any word on Jenny?" Blair asked.

"My dad left for the van der Bass house about twenty minutes ago- apparently there was a crisis," he said, unable to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

Blair looked at him, surprised, and she asked, "How come you're not at home being a nervous wreck?"

He shook his head, "I'm sick of complicated and dramatic."

"So..... you texted _me_?" she asked, smirking.

He laughed, "I know, crazy right?"

She threw a couple of pieces of bread into the water, sending the ducks scattering after it.

"I wanted to see you," he said, turning and looking at her. "You make me feel grounded- even when everything else isn't."

Throwing the last of the bread into the water, Blair turned to Dan too, saying, "Even though 'us' probably just screws everything up on top of it all."

"Despite that."

She smiled up at him, "I'm glad."

"And why are you out here?" he asked. "Why aren't you home sabotaging Cyrus's Thanksgiving or something?"

She shook her head, "My mom and Cyrus are engaged- they were planning on announcing it tonight."

"And you're running away so they won't be able to?"

"No," she snapped, looking at the pond. "I'm out here because my mom didn't tell me. She expected me to just find out with all those other people."

He looked down at her, understanding a little bit of what she was trying to say. "I'm sorry," he said in return, reaching up and stroking her cheek lightly with his thumb.

She leaned into his touch and let her eyes droop closed.

"I missed you," he whispered.

"Hmmmm," she sounded, enjoying the feeling of his skin against her and his voice in her ears.

Leaning in slowly, unable to even care that they were out in the open- again- Dan pressed his lips against hers, applying the gentlest pressure to the kiss. Blair pressed herself against him fiercely, suddenly starving for his touch and his closeness. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer to her, winding her arms around his neck and keeping him locked against her. Dan allowed his hands to trail up, into her thick tresses, twisting his fingers among her curls, allowing his lips to work their way against hers.

They didn't think about being spotted or who would find out- they just _were_- and it was nicer than any secret relationship or hidden rendezvous they could have in its place.

* * *

"This sucks," Blair said later on, when she and Dan were sitting on a bench in the park, shivering and hungry. "Why can't our families just not be so fucked up?"

Dan shrugged, "Question of the day."

She shook her head.

After staring at the pond across the way for a minute or so, Blair meekly asked, "Can I say something without you immediately thinking I'm a horrible person?"

Dan turned and looked at her skeptically, saying, "I'll try."

"Sometimes, I wish my father really could love my mother," she said quietly. "Sometimes I just wish we could have gone on living the way we had- I wish he had never met Roman."

Dan saw and heard the vulnerability that Blair was letting him in on, and it made him ache for her. The way she looked just then- small and fragile in the Thanksgiving chill- and the way she confessed this piece of information to him, made him put an arm around her and pull her closer to his side. She allowed her head to rest against his shoulder and she sighed, swallowed past the tears that she felt rising up in her throat.

"Is that horrible of me?"

Dan shook his head, "No. It's human."

"I wish he could have been happy with us," she whispered. "I wish he could have been happy with me."

"Blair, it's not that he wasn't happy with you," he told her, rubbing her arm. "He probably just wanted to live a life where he didn't have to lie or be judged- and you know the Upper East Side isn't exactly the best place for that to happen."

Blair let out a dry laugh, saying, "Yeah." She sniffed, "I just miss him."

"I know," Dan said, kissing the side of her head. "I'm sorry."

"It's like- sometimes I feel like he doesn't even care enough about me to visit," she shook her head. "I mean, he's not here now, is he?"

While she had been talking, a figure walking down the path had caught Dan's eye. And now that she was quiet, he was able to say, "Oh no?"

"Huh?"

Dan nodded in the direction of the figure, "Not here?"

Blair looked up and caught sight of her father, walking down the path towards them, a smile lighting up his face. The most genuine smile Dan had ever seen on her lit up Blair's face as well, and the way she looked- so innocent and happy and pure, like a kid on Christmas morning- made Dan smile in turn, even when she leapt up and raced down the path to throw herself into her father's arms.

"When did you get here?" she asked, pulling away from him. "How did you know I was here?"

"I got here this morning," he said. "It was supposed to be a surprise. And then when you didn't come home- well, you know Dorota's really bad at keeping secrets?"

Blair laughed, saying, "I'm so glad you're here!"

"So am I," he smiled down at her. "It's good to see you, bear."

She smiled up at him, and then noticed him looking down the path. She turned and noticed Dan standing by the bench, hands in his pockets, looking a little shy and unsure.

"Who's that?"

Blair faltered for a moment, then made a split decision and pulled her father down the path, saying, "Someone I want you to meet."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry if the chapter wasn't up to par, it's like pulling teeth sometimes. I hope you like it though! I can't be sure when the next chapter will be up. Sooner than two months, I hope! Thanks for sticking with it! And thanks for reading!


	13. It's a Wonderful Lie

**Author's Note:** This chapter would have been up sooner, except I kind of gave myself all summer to focus on another fic of mine (unintentionally- kind of). But, with the start of school and a new season of _Gossip Girl_ to fuel me onward (and maybe some Dan/Blair on TV, finally?!), I promise to focus on this story just as much as my other ones. Hope you like the chapter!!

**It's A Wonderful Lie**

With the Christmas season came the Senior Charity Snowflake Ball. And with the Senior Charity Snowflake Ball came the converging of the Upper East Side's finest prep school students. And because these teens were the offspring of the cities finest and most upwardly mobile- and, more than eager to create a scene- photos from the event would be splashed across Page Six way past the New Year. And for all of these reasons, Blair refused to take preparations for the ball lightly. She would not just wear _any_ dress. She would not take just _any_ car. Would not go to _any_ after party. Would not just go with _any_ one.

That was why she had six designer dresses on hold at four different shops, had already decided on a limo, was considering attending a party at Cain that was being hosted by a senator's daughter who attended Constance, and why she had five pages worth of guys' names to look through in order to choose a date.

"All these guys asked you out?" Serena asked, reaching across the table to flip through the papers as they sat in the courtyard after school.

Blair defensively hugged the clipboard to her chest, saying, "Of course."

"So how are you going to choose?"

Honestly Blair would probably ask Dan what he thought- because whoever she went to the Ball with would not be her boyfriend- but she wasn't going to tell that to Serena. Instead, she shrugged and said, "Process of elimination."

"If you're going to go by that process then you'll just get rid of them all," Blair heard Chuck drawl as he approached the table.

Turning to him and giving him her most sickly, sweet smile, she gave in and asked, "And why's that?"

"Because they'll all drive you crazy within five minutes," he drawled, lowering himself down to sit next to her at the table.

She rolled her eyes, "You don't know that."

"Your first prospect?" he prompted.

She glanced at Serena, who raised her eyebrows- as if she wouldn't do what Blair was about to- and then looked at her list and said, "Maxwell Levine?"

"Recently started frequenting a Hooters in New Jersey on the weekends," Chuck smirked. "Apparently the Big Apple didn't offer enough entertainment for ole Max."

Blair wrinkled her nose at this and crossed him off her list.

"Jonson Brite," she shot at him, particularly proud of this one. After all, Jonson was the star of the Riverside Prep lacrosse team, president of their Humanities Club, a volunteer at Columbia-Presbyterian, and he wanted to be a med student at Yale.

"You do know that he scored higher than you on the SATs, right?"

"So," Blair said acidically. "He can whisper _intelligent_ nothings in my ear."

"If those whisperings include him critiquing your grammar and defining every word that comes out of your mouth, then I think you'll like Jonson," he told her. "Unless of course you actually wanted to have something resembling a good time at the Snowflake Ball."

Blair stared coolly at Chuck, and angrily crossed Jonson off of her list too.

"I'll see you guys later," Serena suddenly said, standing up with her bag and hurrying out of the courtyard.

Watching her as she left, Blair saw that she was hurrying to catch up with Dan, and quickly looked back down at her list.

"Thomas-"

"Blair," Chuck said, as if he was amused by something- cutting off her attempt at distracting herself from Dan. "I think we both know that the person you want to go to the Snowflake Ball with is not on that list."

Feeling her stomach clench in her abdomen, Blair swallowed impulsively and said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Are we really going back to playing that game?" he countered.

She stared him down for a moment, before finally breaking- for fear that he could see right into her brain with those penetrating eyes- and looking back down at her list. Fingering the slightly bent edge of the papers, she thought about Dan meeting her dad- about how well they had hit it off and how much they had all liked each other. It really did hurt to keep Dan a secret from everyone else when she felt the way she did about him- at least as the good friend that he was becoming- but she didn't know what else she could do. If everyone found out that she and Dan were together, things would blow up. Serena would freak out and call Blair a royal hypocrite of a bitch. Nate would probably look at her if he didn't know her at all. Chuck would be smug as all hell. Jenny would probably piss herself, and Vanessa would most likely refuse to speak to Dan if he allowed it to continue. And her mother? Her mother would probably ask her if she was in her right mind.

"Blair, you already have someone you want to go to the Ball with in mind, so why don't you just stop pretending and admit it," he said, his voice low and satisfied.

"Oh really?" she retorted. "And who might I have in mind?"

He smirked and leaned closer, saying, "Dan Humphrey." She narrowed her eyes at him. He continued, and said, "Or me."

"_You_?" she echoed incredulously. "You have to be kidding me."

He leaned back a little, saying, "It's no secret that you're having this lapse in judgment with Humphrey, but, come on- You know you still have feelings for me."

"You are seriously out of your mind, do you know that?" Blair replied, straightening her papers and refusing to make eye contact with Chuck.

"Let me pick your date," he said suddenly.

She turned on him, her mouth hanging open. "What?" she finally said, disbelievingly.

"Just to prove that I know you better than you know yourself," he told her, his eyes twinkling mischievously. She stared at him, as if trying to figure out where he was coming from. After a beat, he said, "Unless of course you already have plans to go with Humphrey-"

"Fine!" she cut him off. "Find me a date. Be my guest."

His smile returned.

He was about to say something, but she cut him off. "But I get to find you a date too."

"Done," he said, seeming to like this idea.

"And these dates can't be people we already know," she ordered, giving him a meaningful look.

He laughed a little at this and said, "Like I said, done."

"And if you like the date I choose for you," Blair continued, an idea sparking in her mind, "I get your limo for a month."

Chuck's smile widened, "And if I win, I get Dorota."

This made Blair falter. She couldn't live without Dorota for a whole month. But then again, if she won, she'd be depriving Chuck of his precious limo, and she'd be able to rub it in his face for all of eternity. And besides, Chuck had higher standards for her than even she did, so he was bound to find her someone who was at least worthy enough to take her to one ball.

"Deal."

* * *

For some phantom reason, Dan agreed to go with Serena to the gallery after she had waltzed in from the courtyard and thrust a first addition book of poetry at him- a Christmas gift for Aaron, she explained. Maybe he was going because he had some morbid curiosity about the dynamic between Aaron and Serena. Or maybe it was latent guilt- for lying about his relationship with Blair- and now he felt he could make up for it by accompanying her to the gallery where she was meeting Aaron and his ex, Lexi. Whatever the reason, Dan left the school with her, feeling as if he was in some kind of deja vu-parallel universe.

"So, are you going to the Snowflake Ball?" Serena asked, making conversation as they walked out onto the pavement and headed down the sidewalk.

Surprisingly, Dan said, "Yeah, actually, I am."

"No way!" the blonde replied with an electric smile. "Dan Humphrey is actually going to attend an event hosted by the highest of the upper crust- _willingly_?!"

He smirked at her, saying, "Yeah, well, some of my best memories were those on the Upper East Side- and besides, we're graduating this year, so I might as well enjoy it while I can."

That wasn't entirely the truth, but it was close enough. Dan wasn't going to actually tell Serena that he was going to the Snowflake Ball because some part of him- though they had actually avoided the subject all together- knew that Blair would want him there. Also, he wanted to keep an eye on her. Chuck was always lurking around her, and he was doubtless going to be at the ball. Dan would go too, just to see how things panned out.

"Well I am impressed," Serena said. "I never thought I'd see the day."

He rolled his eyes playfully and asked, "What about you? Are you going with Aaron?"

Serena's smile fell away and she folded her arms over her chest, looking at the sidewalk distractedly as they reached a corner and stopped.

"Actually, Aaron isn't really a fan of the whole high school dance thing," she replied. "So, I'll be going alone."

He looked at her and frowned, "Sorry to hear that."

She shrugged, saying, "It's cool- It's fine- I'll just hang out with my friends."

He nodded and- in order to the distract himself- looked up the street to hail a cab.

Normally, the chivalrous side of Dan would offer himself up as a pseudo-date for Serena. He would suggest that they go to the dance together, as friends, and just hang out and have a good time. But, he felt as if he couldn't do that- didn't want to do that- because it was like he had a prior commitment to Blair. And that was a commitment- widely known or otherwise- that he was going to honor.

"I usually don't mind going stag, but it's just- Blair's so gung-ho about finding a date that it's kind of rubbing off on me," Serena said, causing Dan to snap his head in her direction and ignore the taxi that pulled up beside them. "And this thing is kind of important to me so I was hoping I'd be able to share it with Aaron-"

Dan cut her off, saying, "Wait, did you just say Blair was finding a date?"

He didn't think they'd be going together, but he didn't think they'd be finding other dates either.

Serena looked at him a little strangely and the cab driver leaned toward them and shouted, "Are you in or what?"

Distractedly, Dan opened the door and waited for Serena to get in, and then he followed behind her. After she had told the driver the address of the gallery, she sat back and looked out the window as they pulled away from the curb. But Dan was practically bouncing in his seat. Blair was trying to find a date? Why?

"So, is Blair, like, going with Chuck?" he asked feebly.

Serena looked at him- as if remembering he was even there- and said, "Uh- No, apparently a bunch of guys asked her and she's trying to find the best."

A hot flame of jealousy and anger licked at his insides.

"I think Chuck's going to demolish her attempts though," she said, smirking a little.

Dan didn't find any part of it funny, and he asked, "What- What do you mean?"

"He's convinced she's still in love with him and that he's the only one that's good enough for her," she said, jostled in her seat as the driver stopped short behind a delivery truck.

Almost unconsciously, Dan clenched his hand into a fist at his side.

What was happening? What _was_ this exactly?

"What about you?" she asked suddenly, infinitely more cheerful. "Are you going with anyone?"

Dan was almost too angry and flustered too respond. Chuck thought he was the only one good enough for Blair? Was Chuck also trying to infiltrate his way into her life and be her date for the dance? He couldn't believe he was thinking the way he was thinking- all predatory and immature- but he couldn't help it. The idea that Chuck Bass was trying to slither his way to Blair again made Dan itchy and uncomfortable, the anger rising inside him like some kind of mutant monster.

Somehow, he managed to maintain a cool exterior and say, "No, I'm just going on my own."

Serena nodded and said, "Maybe we could hang out together then!"

"Yeah," he said, and hoped he sounded somewhat enthusiastic.

But in reality, he was seething inside.

* * *

Blair paced the floor of the dining room, flashing Dorota impatient glances every time she passed her. She would not accept defeat by Chuck Bass. She just would not allow it. It wasn't even a matter of the bet- of getting the limo and keeping Dorota- it was a matter of principal. Ever since summer Chuck had been pulling on Blair's last nerve, throwing the Dan issue in her face, going around like his escapades with Vanessa Troll-Under-the-Brooklyn-Bridge Abrams were nothing compared to what she was doing. She wouldn't allow him this too. On principal, no.

"Marta Price?" she snapped. "Really, Dorota?"

"She got good exam scores."

Blair scoffed, "She has greasy hair and wears Birkenstocks!" Shaking her head, she stopped and stood in front of the table, where Dorota was set up at a laptop. "We need a higher caliber of girl here!"

"Kacee Avalon?" she suggested in return.

Throwing her hands up in frustration, Blair said, "Do you even know what you're _saying_?" With her hands on her hips, she asked, "Do you really want to get stuck with the Bass-hole for a month, Dorota?"

"No, Miss Blair," her maid replied, looking truly terrified. "I do not want to shine Mr. Bass's shoes for a month."

Blair snorted and crossed her arms, saying, "You'll be lucky if that's all he makes you shine."

Dorota's eyes widened and she huddled into her computer.

Suddenly, Blair heard the elevator humming to life, and the doors ping open. Her mother was at her studio and Cyrus was at work, so she peeked around the corner to see who had entered the penthouse. Surprise straightened her spine when she saw Dan stalking over to her, looking very angry and determined.

"Dan."

When he reached her, he asked, "So you're scoping out dates for the Snowflake Ball?"

For a moment, she froze in her tracks, then, after a moment, she regrouped and licked her lips, slowly turning from Dan and saying, "Dorota, go check out our options at Butter, okay?"

Hastily, Dorota gathered up her laptop and scurried for the elevator.

When they were alone, Blair turned back to Dan, but she didn't say anything.

"Did you find anyone good enough for you yet?" he asked, his voice hard and flinty.

Blair said, "Dan, you didn't think we could actually go to the Snowflake Ball together, did you?"

"Well I don't know Blair, I thought things might be changing," he told her. She sent him a questioning look and he exploded, shouting, "You fucking introduced me to your father?"

She stared at him for a long moment, then said, "I'm sorry, but-"

"But I'm not good enough for anyone that lives in this _country_ to know about," he shot.

She rolled her eyes, saying, "Don't be ridiculous-"

"Did you find anyone good enough to be your date, Blair? Have you considered Chuck yet?"

Her eyes narrowed on him and she said, "I wouldn't go to the ball with Chuck- I don't have feelings for Chuck anymore."

"But he seems to know you well enough to decide who you can and can't go to the dance with?" he countered.

"What are you-"

He cut her off, saying, "Well that's fine, Blair, you can go with Chuck Bass for all I care, because I have a date already."

This made Blair freeze in shock and anger.

"You do?" she snapped. "Who?"

"Lexi," he replied smugly. "A friend of Aaron's."

She looked disgusted. "A friend of _Aaron's_? Does she have dreadlocks and a love of veganism?"

"No, she doesn't," he replied curtly. "She's actually a Fine Arts major and she knows the difference between Norman Mailer and Faulkner."

Blair didn't know one from the other, and she pressed her lips together in indignation. Taking in the smug look on Dan's face, she said, "Great, I hope you have a wonderful time at the dance with Lexi." As an afterthought, she added, "You can spend the whole time doing what you love- soaking up each other's pretension."

Dan clenched his jaw and stared at her with fire burning angrily in his eyes.

"Thanks for your blessing," he practically, spat and then turned on his heal and headed for the elevator.

* * *

It wasn't like he really even liked Lexi. He didn't even know her. All he knew from his afternoon walking around Brooklyn with her, Serena, and Aaron, was that she was briskly opinionated- almost to the point of being loud and obnoxious- and brutally frank. And not in a Blair, I-don't-give-a-shit-this-is-me-whether-you-like-it-or-not way, but in a I-think-I-need-to-be-a-certain-kind-of-person-and-I'm-going-to-be-vocal-to-prove-a-point-I-think-I-should-believe-in kind of way. It bothered him, yes, but she was pretty, she was a Fine Arts major, and she was guaranteed to piss Blair off by being Dan's date, and that- right now, at least- was his goal. Because, if he was going to be honest, part of him was continually hurt by his relationship with Blair needing to be a vehement secret- which, why did it have to be? Serena had a boyfriend, Chuck and Blair were over. What was the issue? And if it wasn't the relationship in its entirety, it was Blair thinking she could go and find a date for the Snowflake Ball without considering how he would take it- without even _warning_ him. So he, in turn, would take someone else.

* * *

"Then I found out that she likes to _extend_ herself on the first date."

As the words left Serena's mouth, Blair immediately felt the floor fall a little bit from underneath her. Serena wasn't implying that this Lexi bitch would try to have sex with Dan as his date for the Snowflake Ball, was she?

Sounding completely unaffected by this new revelation, she said, "So?"

"So shouldn't I warn him or something?" Serena asked, looking over her shoulder from where she was doing her nails on Blair's bed.

Concentrating on the shoes she was trying on, Blair said, "Do you think that would make a difference?"

"I dunno," the blonde replied dejectedly, resting her chin against her wrist.

Standing up and disappearing into her closet again, Blair asked, "Well, do you think Dan's the type to have sex on the first date- with some girl he doesn't even know?"

She squeezed on the sleeve of a blouse that was hanging up beside her, pretending to survey her shoe collection with unflinching concentration, but in reality, she was frantic with worry. Were things okay between her and Dan, she wouldn't question his morals, but how did she know whether or not he would have sex with Lexi just to prove that he could play games with her? How was she supposed to know that he wasn't completely done with her because she wouldn't tell everyone about them?

"That's the problem," Serena said. "Normally I would know what he would do, but I'm not sure right now- I feel like I don't know him anymore."

Blair swallowed, staring dazedly at a pair of Manolos.

She was afraid she would find out that she didn't know him either.

* * *

The Snowflake Ball was everything Dan expected it would be: expensively decorated, vibrating with loud, obnoxious music, filled with snobby, gyrating teenagers in couture, but also surprisingly classy. The moment he entered the space he smiled at the winter wonderland around him, knowing it must have been everything Blair expected too- her elite winter ball- and he searched for her through the crowd. But he couldn't find her among the shimmery gowns and black tuxes, and Lexi was twining her arm through his and saying something about getting a drink, so he couldn't look further. He reminded himself that he didn't care whether she was there anyway, because he was mad at her.

Oh, right.

"This is great," Lexi said sarcastically, sipping her seltzer. "Are all high school dances this pretentious? They might as well have wall papered the place with hundred dollar bills and called it a day."

Playing along, Dan said, "That would clash with the disco ball though."

Lexi laughed. "Of course."

He unconsciously looked around the room.

"She's over there."

"What?" Dan asked, snapping his head around to face Lexi again.

She smirked, pointing across the room. "Serena," she said. "She's over there with Aaron, dancing."

"Oh," he replied, almost relieved. "No, I wasn't looking for Serena."

Lexi raised an eyebrow, asking, "Who _were_ you looking for?"

"No one," he said quickly. "Hey, do you want to dance?"

She looked at him skeptically for a moment, before setting her drink down on a nearby table and leading him out onto the dance floor.

They had only been dancing for a minute or so when she looked across the room- to where he now knew Serena and Aaron were- and smirked.

"Look's like tonight's the night," she said.

Dan looked over and saw them dancing, wondering if he should be seeing something else. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Well, it took a lot of needling, but I finally found out that Serena gave him the green light for tonight," she said, her face aglow with relish.

Dan wondered what this meant exactly- that Serena gave Aaron the green light for them to have sex? So? Why was Lexi telling him this? Why should he care?

"Oh, you mean they haven't had sex," he said.

"Welcome to the conversation," she said.

He wanted to roll his eyes at her attitude, but he just looked away and continued dancing.

She immediately took his looking for something else though, and asked, "Do you _care_?"

"No," he said easily. "No, I don't."

And he really didn't, because he had more important things to worry about than Serena and Aaron's sex life- like, where was Blair? and more importantly, was she with someone else?

* * *

When Chuck brought out a Dan Humphrey look-a-like as his date for her, she laughed out loud.

"You have got to be kidding me," she said.

Chuck only looked at her, smirking.

Leaving her quasi-Blair-Vanessa where she was, she said, "Excuse us," and grabbed Chuck's arm, dragging him into an alcove so they could speak discreetly.

"Changed your mind?" Chuck drawled.

"What the _hell_ is that?" she demanded, gesturing toward her intended date.

He glanced in that direction, and then smugly said, "It's your next-to-perfect date."

"It's a knockoff of Dan Humphrey!"

"Well, since I couldn't get the real thing-"

She scowled at him and shouted, "The bet is off!"

"Because you lost?"

"Because you're _deranged_!"

He laughed. "You keep jumping to that excuse, Blair." Sighing lazily, he said, "You know, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem- so just admit you're going through some kind of phase with Humphrey and you can get over it, come back to your senses." As he said this, his hands snaked around her waist and he pulled her to him.

She pushed him away and said, "Chuck, stop."

"Though I'll admit you didn't do too bad with my date," he said softly, leaning toward her and speaking low and huskily. "She's a little too Vanessa Abrams and not nearly enough Blair," he whispered, inching closer to her, until the words had left his mouth, and then he was pulling her to him, his mouth on hers, his tongue darting at her lips.

That was the problem with Chuck. He could from normal to horny and advancing in no time, and the fact that he was pushing himself on her was _not_ okay.

Pushing him away yet again, Blair managed to make him stumble backwards, and she slapped him across the face, her hand ringing from the impact.

"Don't touch me," she said. "Don't come near me again, Chuck," and she stalked away from him before he could grab her again.

* * *

Dan spotted Blair hidden away in an alcove with Chuck Bass, and he felt like he had been punched in the stomach. She looked beautiful, of course, but her face was so close to Chuck's and they were speaking so passionately and it was all too much for him. And then they were kissing, and he couldn't look anymore. And he made himself gently pull away from Lexi, who looked up at him with needy, questioning eyes.

"I-uh- I need to use the bathroom," he said lamely.

She recovered, saying, "Okay- I'll just go get another drink and meet you by the refreshment table."

He nodded and hurried away from her without another word.

And it was between the dance floor and the bathroom- in the hallway outside of the ballroom- that Dan and Blair intercepted each other.

"Dan," she said, relief and appreciation flooding her voice.

He didn't say anything to her, only gave her a hard, cold look, and stepped deliberately around her.

Hurt, she spun on her heel and called, "Dan."

He ignored her and kept walking, so she followed him, grabbing his arm and pulling him to a stop. "What is your problem, Humphrey?" she demanded. "You're not still mad that I assumed Lexi had dreadlocks, are you?"

Facing her, he clenched his jaw and said, "No, I'm not."

"Then what?"

"I saw you," he said through his teeth. "With Chuck."

The kiss. The kiss that she hadn't even wanted.

"Dan, it's Chuck," she said. "You honestly think I initiated that or wanted it in any way?"

This made him falter. He _had_ witnessed Chuck's advances before.

"_He_ kissed _me_," she told him. "Obviously you didn't see everything because I pushed him away and slapped him."

This actually pleased him- that she had slapped him- but he didn't let himself smile.

"Did he at least find a good date for you?" he asked bitterly.

She rolled her eyes. "Stop being like this," she said. "I'm not mad at you for going with Lexi and you shouldn't be mad that Chuck was going to try to find me a date."

"I only came here with Lexi because you were set on finding another date," he implored. "I would have gone with you in a heartbeat, Blair, if only you felt the way I did so we could tell everyone- so we could just be together."

The way his voice was so sad and desperate scared her. It was almost like he was going to....

When she didn't say anything, he clenched his fist and said, "Goddamn it, Blair, I love you, and you don't seem to give a shit about me."

This made her heart thud in her chest, and she swallowed hard.

She was frozen where she stood, and she didn't know what to say, so they stared at each other like that, silent, tense, everything teetering on the edge of something bigger than either of them.

And then Serena's mother hurried up to them, and she was frantic- her eyes big and shiny, her face strained with panic and fear.

"Blair, Dan," she said, her voice anxious and pulled tight. "Have either of you seen Charles or Serena?"

Blair noticed the phone that was clutched in her hand, and she realized that something horrible must have happened- that had to be the explanation for the look on her face and the way her voice sounded.

"There's been an accident."

* * *


	14. O Brother, Where Bart Thou?

**Author's Note:** There is no excuse for the delay in updates, but I'll make them anyway: graduated last year, started college, working, writing other things, etc. And also, the last season of _Gossip Girl_. Absolute crack. Sorry. Hope you like 'O Brother, Where Bart Thou?'! Enjoy!

**O Brother, Where Bart Thou?**

Blair went home after the Snowflake Ball- she and Dan both slinking away with their tails between their legs, ashamed for being so petty when lives were at stake- and changed into her favorite silk pajamas, before sitting up in bed for hours, staring at her phone and her computer screen in intervals, willing either to change. In the background, Audrey sang songs about the rain in Spain and Henry Higgins- and hadn't she put _Funny Face_ in the DVD player?- but she couldn't focus on it. She was too worried, her stomach filled with lead and her muscles cramped up in agitation. Was Bart going to make it? How would Chuck take this? He and the rest of the van der Bass clan had run out of the ball in a harried, frantic mob, and she hadn't gotten a chance to talk to any of them about it. And she was furious at Chuck, yes, but she was his friend- she would always be his best friend- and she was concerned. Serena could handle this, she was sure of that, but Chuck didn't handle serious- particularly serious _loss_- well, and she was afraid for the outcome.

Her phone beeped to life around two-thirty in the morning. With shaking hands, she clicked open the text from Serena and read:  
_  
Bart's dead  
_  
A hand flew to Blair's mouth and she felt her heart thud in her chest.

_How is everyone? Are you okay- is C?_ she texted.

Serena texted back quickly, saying:  
_  
I'm okay. My mom's a wreck. E's shocked. C's gone._

_Gone?_

_The second they told us he stormed out of the hospital._

_And went where?_

_It's C. Who knows?_

Shaking slightly, Blair punched in a text to Chuck, and it read:  
_  
S told me what happened. I'm so sorry._

She didn't receive a text back, so she called the next person she felt she needed to speak to.

He answered on the fourth ring.

"Dan."

His voice was thick with sleep, but he woke up a little when he said, "Blair?"

"Bart died."

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone, and then: "Shit."

"I think Serena's okay, but Chuck stormed out of the hospital," she said. "I'm worried."

"About Chuck?"

She closed her eyes for a minute, saying, "You don't know Chuck like I do, Dan. He's- He's not as strong as he looks, and his dad was- You know his relationship with his dad wasn't the best."

"I know," Dan said sadly.

"But he loved him- all Chuck ever wanted to do was have his father's love and- I- I don't know if he got that," she told him, her voice breaking off at the end as tears burned in her throat. "Shit- what's going to happen?"

Sighing, Dan said, "I don't know, Blair."

She was silent as a hot tear dribbled out of her eye.

"I wish I did," he continued. "But I don't."

* * *

The following day was a Saturday. Dan woke early- when the sky outside was still pale, devoid of sunlight- and went out into the kitchen to make coffee. As the machine gurgled and dripped, he leaned against the counter, staring across the kitchen and living room, to the view outside the loft's windows. In the weak December morning, the kitchen was cold, and Dan hugged his arms to himself in his plain, white t-shirt, shuddering once. His mind was on a thousand different things, but at the forefront were two topics: Bart Bass's death, and the fact that he had told Blair he loved her at the Snowflake Ball.

What did Bart's death mean? for himself, for Blair, for Serena and Chuck? He wasn't going to lie and say his life was going to change drastically because the mogul had died, but he _was_ sorry. This was Lily's husband- Serena and Eric's stepfather. And he didn't exactly appreciate Chuck Bass, but this was his _father_- not even the king douche of the Upper East Side deserved to lose his father, especially so young and so suddenly. And from what Blair had said, Chuck wasn't taking it well, and this was causing her serious distress. It was enough to make Dan ache with her- if not for Chuck, then for the girl he loved.

But, _did_ he love her? He knew he had told her he did at the Snowflake Ball, but that had been in the heat of an argument- as ammunition to make her falter and lose her grounding, right? He couldn't tell- had nothing to compare it to. He had told Serena he loved her once upon a time, but this didn't feel the same as before. He didn't want to discredit his past feelings for Serena, but he felt different this time. Something about Blair made him think of buying houses and picking out baby names, about bringing her home to meet his dad and trying to impress her mother despite his address. It wasn't just teenage, let's-make-out-against-a-wall-at-school lust- though that was certainly a part of it. He appreciated all the details of her- not unlike how he had appreciated Serena- but he also couldn't stand her. Like when she and Chuck played games, when she toyed with him, when she let her snobbish tendencies shine through and wouldn't allow him the same luxuries of being self-righteous. But through it all he wanted to be with her- more than anything, he wanted to be with her.

Was that love though? He couldn't tell. And even if it was, did she feel the same? She certainly hadn't rushed to return the feeling in the hallway that night, so he didn't know. And he wasn't about to repeat those three words when she wasn't asking about it- when she was so worried about Chuck and focused on derailing the freight train of a nervous breakdown he was probably having.

"Dan?"

Looking up, Dan saw his dad- eyes squinting, hair messy, half-asleep- shuffle into the kitchen.

"What are you doing up?"

Glancing over at the coffee-maker, Dan said, "I couldn't get back to sleep. Figured I'd make some coffee."

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice rough with sleep. "I didn't really get a chance to talk to you after last night."

Dan shrugged. "I'm fine. It's everyone else I'm worried."

"I'm sure Serena will be fine," Rufus said, coming around the island, rubbing his face. "She's a strong girl."

I'm sure she'll be fine too, Dan thought. She's not the most of my worries.

"Yeah," was all he said.

Rufus considered his son for a moment. "She's not what you're worried about, is she?"

Looking over at his father for the first time, Dan sighed and shook his head. "I don't- I don't really want to talk about it though."

He nodded. "Okay, just- just know that- Dan, I've been through it all, and I'm always here if you want advice or anything, you know that, right?"

"I know, Dad, thanks."

"Just, let me know if you want to talk."

Dan nodded, "I will, Dad."

Giving his son one last lingering look, he gave his shoulder a squeeze, grabbed a water bottle from the refrigerator, and left Dan to his thoughts and a full pot of coffee.

* * *

"He's holed up in his suite at the Palace," Serena said over her lunch of chicken and rice that Sunday. Seated across from Blair at their favorite little cafe restaurant, she looked tired and pale, but still beautiful. "My mom called the hotel and apparently he checked in yesterday."

This made Blair pause over her mushroom soup, asking, "Have you spoken to him at all?"

Serena shook her head. "He's not answering any calls or texts- and with an endless supply of alcohol up there, I'm kind of concerned for him."

"God," the brunette replied, her heart thudding in her chest. If Chuck wasn't responding to anyone at all and he was dealing with this tragedy on his own, how did anyone know he hadn't done something drastic up in the hotel by himself?

Seeming to read her best friend's thoughts, Serena said, "The hotel says they've been sending up food though, so at least he's alive."

Blair let out a breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding, and regarded her friend. "How are _you_ doing?"

"I'm fine," she replied, shaking her head as if to dismiss any concern for her welfare. "Dan's been great- and Aaron too, so-"

"Dan?" Blair asked, before she could stop herself.

Nodding, Serena shifted the rice around on her plate with a fork, saying, "Yeah, we talked on the phone last night and he's been texting me, checking to see how I am."

Part of Blair wanted to appreciate Dan's kindness, but a bigger part of her wanted to find him and demand to know why he felt the need to be Serena's shoulder to cry on when Serena had a boyfriend and Dan had told _her_ he loved her.

"What?" Serena asked, looking up and seeing Blair's preoccupied and troubled face. "What's the matter?"

Quickly, Blair composed herself, saying, "Noth-Nothing." Grabbing her bag from the back of her chair, she stammered, "I'm going to go try and call Chuck again- I'll- I'll be right back." And she got up, making a beeline for the bathroom.

Once inside, she considered herself in the mirror.

Dan _had_ told her he loved her. Why was this so difficult for her to process? Why couldn't she decide whether she wanted to hear those words from him, or whether she was disgusted? She had waited ages, wanting desperately for Nate to say those words to her. She had even wanted to hear them from Chuck. But now that Dan had said them- sincerely and passionately, if not angrily- she was turning from them in a complicated knot of incomprehensible feelings.

With week hands she flipped open her phone and called Chuck.

It went straight to voicemail, so she hung up.

She stared at herself in the mirror for a minute more, before someone else was entering the room and she was going back to Serena.

* * *

By the morning of Bart's funeral, Dan and Blair still hadn't properly spoken, no one had heard from Chuck, and nothing felt right for the day designated to say good-bye to a family member and friend. Blair's mother and Cyrus were giggling and kissing and talking about Paris, Dan's father was sneaking off to places unknown, Blair was trying desperately to get a hold of Chuck, and Dan was trying to figure out whether or not he should go over to Seren's penthouse and comfort her, or whether he should just wait to see her at the funeral. As Jenny was going over to see Eric, he decided he'd come along and offer Serena his support.

He found her staring at herself in her mirror, dressed in a black dress with a thick necklace, lookig tragic and beautiful. When she glanced him in the mirror she turned around and smiled, saying, "Hey. I wasn't expecting to see you."

Hugging her briefly- once more surprised at how touching her barely affected him- he said, "I figured you'd need an extra friend today."

"I do, thank you," she said. "And thank you for being there for me the past few days."

He waved it off. "Don't mention it." Pausing, he thought of Blair, then found himself asking, "Have you heard from Chuck?"

Serena didn't even seem phased by the question, and she shook her head, saying, "No, but I'm sure if anyone can find him, Blair will."

This made Dan's stomach drop, and he swallowed.

"Serena?"

Turning, they both saw Aaron entering the room, looking at them suspiciously.

Serena crossed the room and kissed him, hugging him tightly in the doorway. Dan looked away awkwardly, trying to figure out whether or not he could text Blair and ask her if she was okay without seeming rude.

"Dan," Aaron said.

"Hey Aaron," he replied.

"I just thought I'd come and see how you were doing," Aaron explained to Serena.

Serena smiled, saying, "Yeah, I'm okay- I'm just worried about my mom and Eric... and Chuck. But I'm okay."

The three stood together in an awkward triangle for a moment. Dan wondered if he should say something, but nothing felt appropriate.

"I'm actually going to be driving over to the church with just my family though, so I'll see you guys there?" she prompted.

The two nodded and turned, leaving the room.

As they descended the stairs to leave, Aaron leaned toward Dan and said, "If you have any feelings for Serena, I'd appreciate it if you told me now."

Taken aback, Dan considered stopping on the stairs, but kept himself going. In response, he said, "I don't, actually."

"Oh, so you just weren't interested in Lexie because...?" he said. "You've been talking to Serena and checking up on her because...?"

At the bottom of the stairs, Dan turned to Aaron and said, "I wasn't interested in Lexie because I'm interested in someone else- no, not Serena. And I've been here for her because I'm her _friend_." Shaking his head, he continued, saying, "No need to worry, Aaron, she's all yours," and then he left him behind, exiting the penthouse all together.

* * *

When Blair and Nate went to retrieve Chuck from the Palace, she knew that he was a drunken, mourning mess. When she and Nate had to put him into a cab and keep him upright, she guessed that sobering him up before the funeral was going to be nearly impossible. But it wasn't until she saw him hurtling down the hill of the cemetery, throwing himself toward Dan Humphrey, that she realized he was absolutely and completely out of control.

"What the _hell_ are _you_ doing here?" he screamed, and she couldn't follow behind him fast enough.

Looking properly affronted, Dan yelled back, "Excuse me?"

"He's just upset- and drunk!" Blair called after him, trying to grab for Chuck's hand to hold him back.

He snatched himself away and got right up in Dan's face. She watched in horror as he pointed at Dan and spat wildly in his face, saying, "What are you doing at my father's funeral? Do you think he'd _want_ you here?"

Blair resisted the urge to put herself between the two and keep Chuck away from Dan, though Dan was holding himself very well considering.

"Chuck, if this is about the article, you know I didn't write it," he said calmly, and Blair held her breath.

"You think I _care_ about your failed attempt at investigative journalism?" Chuck snarled. Then, without warning, he grabbed the front of Dan's jacket and began hissing in his ear. Blair couldn't hear what he said, but she let out a cry at the way he was grabbing at Dan.

"Chuck!" Blair yelled, trying to pry Chuck off of him. It was no use though, Chuck wouldn't move.

Dan, however, managed to push him away, saying, "Look, Chuck, I'm sorry about-"

"Fuck you!" Chuck yelled. "Fuck you and your fucking family!"

"Stop it!"

Serena was suddenly putting herself between the two, intervening like some kind of golden-haired martyr.

"Chuck, Dan has been helping us! Unlike you!"

Chuck laughed acidically, saying, "_Helping_ you? Do you even know what his family has _done_?"

Everyone seemed at a loss for words.

"Perhaps it would be best if Daniel left," Ceecee suggested.

"No," Serena countered, making Blair grateful. "Grandma, that doesn't make sense."

"Chuck is Bart's son, it doesn't have to make sense," she replied.

"It's fine," Dan said. "I understand."

As Dan began to back away, Chuck screamed, "You don't understand _anything_!"

And suddenly, Ceecee and Lily were ushering Chuck in the direction of the church, trying to get a hold of him, Nate following in their wake. And Serena stood, looking angry, on the sidewalk with Aaron, who turned her and guided her toward the church as well. No one looked for Blair or wondered why she wasn't following them, and she preferred this. She glanced at the church and the number of cars that were only just arriving, and she knew she had some time before the funeral began. So, with one look at Dan's retreating back, she hurried over to him.

* * *

"Dan!"

Turning, he was surprised to see Blair coming quickly towards him. He was even more surprised when she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.

"I'm sorry," she breathed. "I'm so sorry about Chuck."

Dan held her, wondering if she was conscious of how many people could see them, and said, "Don't worry."

"I was so worried- I thought he was going to-" she cut herself off. "This whole thing sucks."

"It does," Dan said, pulling away from her and brushing her hair back from her face. He gazed at her for a long moment before saying, "You know, Blair, about the Snowflake Ball-"

But she cut him off. Because she knew where he was going with this. He was going to tell her he loved her again. He was going to demand some kind of reciprocation or something from her, and if he didn't get it he was going to end this thing with her. She knew it. And she wasn't sure if she ready. Wasn't ready to say she loved him or end the twisted relationship they had.

"I- I actually can't talk," she said. "I have to go back and- go to the funeral, but I'll call you."

And without another word she hurried away, leaving a very frustrated and confused Dan in her wake.

* * *

She did call him the following night though. She wasn't sure if it was because of all this talk of death- of life ending too abruptly and without warning- or because she just witnessed her mother get married to a man she truly, deeply loved. Maybe it was because Serena was jetting off to Buenos Aires with Aaron, or because the sight of Dan standing in her living room before the wedding- even if he was just there to help his sister- had confirmed in her something she had not been able to admit to herself earlier. In any case, she called him as soon as her mother and Cyrus had left for their night at the Plaza, and Dorota had left to stay with some friends in Queens for a birthday party.

"Blair?" he said when he answered.

"Can you come back over?" she asked, her voice pleading. "I need you."

He was there in under ten minutes- had been sitting in a Starbucks just up the road when she called- and was relieved to see her standing at the bottom of the stairs as soon as the elevator opened. She didn't look upset, or scared, and he was grateful for this- had been afraid she would need him for a shoulder to cry on. As it turned out, she actually looked perfectly fine.

"I thought about it," she said, as soon as he was standing in front of her. "And I wish the circumstances were different- and I wish things had happened differently- but I- I love you."

Dan felt his chest lighten as her words sank in, and he found himself smiling. "I love you too."

Feeling lighter and happier than she had for some time- despite the fact that Chuck was off somewhere rejecting everyone that cared for him and that her friend was dating her new grundgy, hipster stepbrother. And, without thinking twice, she grabbed Dan by the collar of his jacket and pulled him to her.

Dan responded in kind, putting his arms around her, feeling the silk of her white dress slip underneath his fingertips as he ran them over the curves of her hips. Greedily, she helped him out of his jacket, and pressed her hands against his chest, feeling the fast thumping of his heart underneath his shirt.

"Blair," he said, pulling away.

She gazed into his eyes for a moment, licked her lips briefly, and then took his hand and led him upstairs to her room.

Once inside, she closed the door behind them and said, "For once, just don't talk, Humphrey," and pushed him onto her bed.

He watched her crawl onto the bed as well, hovering over him, the hem of her dress tickling his legs through his pants. She looked beautiful- surreal- silhouetted by the light of the moon, and he took her face in his hands, kissing her hungrily. With deft, hurried fingers, she got him out of his shirt without leaving his mouth, and with the heat of his skin so close to her, she pulled at his hair anxiously.

He couldn't take it much more. He could feel her through her dress- every line and curve and inch of her body- and he wanted her. So, without asking for permission or second-guessing himself, he pushed at the material of her dress until she was helping him get her out of it.

"Dan," she said, pausing as she began to unbutton his pants. Looking him in the eye, she said, "Don't compare me to Serena. That's all I want."

And, as he looked at the vulnerable, pleading look in her eye, he realized how much he truly loved her, how deeply he wanted her, and he took her face in his hands once more and said, "There's no comparison."

Smiling, she kissed him once more, and fell with him against the cool, silk sheets.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry, I don't go into detail when it comes to sex scenes. Hope you liked the chapter all the same!


	15. In the Realm of the Basses

**Author's Note:**Thank you for the reviews for the last chapter! I'm glad to see the long waits between updates didn't deter anyone from coming back. I've been crazy busy with school and work and having my heart broken, but I'm back now! And here is 'In the Realm of the Basses!' I know I keep saying that each chapter veers away from the season's plot even more than the last, but this is going to be very different than the original episode. In the original Serena and Dan get back together, Blair spends half the episode chasing after Chuck, and all that. Most of that will be changing in this chapter though– to follow the Dair story line. Enjoy!

**In the Realm of the Basses**

Surprisingly enough, Blair was glad to be returning to school following the New Year. While she had been hoping her winter break would be a quiet, relaxing time that she could use to hole up in the penthouse with Dan, it ended up being a far cry from that fantasy. Instead, she spent the vacation fretting over Chuck's whereabouts, ignoring facebook notifications of the disintegration of Serena and Aaron's relationship while they were in beautiful Buenos Aires, and stealing a few quiet– albeit, some interrupted– moments with Dan. But she wasn't going to think about that now. She wasn't going to think about Chuck's Uncle Jack and what he might know or reveal when Chuck finally turned up. She wasn't going to think about her and Dan's relationship getting out at all, because she had more important things to focus on. The Colony Club's interest in her, being first and foremost on her mind.

"Dorota," Blair said, on the morning of her return to school. "The Colony Club is the oldest and most prestigious social club in all of New York– do you know what it would mean if I got in?"

Dorota shook her head, looking awed.

"It would mean a start to the life I want after Constance– it would mean I could finally rise above all the petty high school drama and start my life as an adult," she replied breathlessly. "An adult who is part of the most elite club in, ultimately, the world."

Shaking her head in amazement, Dorota said, "They must take you–"

"Must!" Blair laughed. "The Colony Club doesn't have to do anything the Colony Club doesn't want to do!"

The maid flinched, nodding.

Smoothing her skirt down, Blair calmed herself and said, "Which is why everything has to be _perfect_ when the selection committee comes over tomorrow."

Dorota nodded.

Feeling a sweet sense of control and hope slide into place, Blair smiled and said, "Now, I'm going to school and–"

She was cut off by the sound of beeping.

Without hesitation, she reached into her bag and pulled out her cell phone. Flipping it open, she saw that she had a text message from Chuck's uncle Jack, and she immediately read it.

_I have him. Headed back to the apartment. _

Swallowing hard, she felt the control and hope crash off of her shoulders.

_Leave it for Serena. Leave it for Eric. Leave it to Nate, _she told herself.

"I'm going to school," she repeated.

_Serena? Where _is_ Serena? Eric can't handle this. Where is Nate? _

"As soon as I check on Chuck."

She hurried on unsteady heels, all the way to the van der Bass's building, where the Bass limo pulled up alongside the sidewalk. Blair stopped in her tracks, staring at the vehicle, waiting for what she was afraid would be disaster.

After a moment, Jack Bass got out of the limo, looking well-kept, handsome, and only slightly hassled.

"Blair," he said, the slime just oozing out of his words. "You came to greet us."

"I came to see how my friend was doing," she shot back.

She could see the calculation behind Jack's eyes, knew what he was thinking and what he wasn't saying. It made her sick, to think of what he knew, to think of New Year's... But that wasn't important right now.

"Bangkok," Jack replied. "Strayed away from the hotel to a nice little opium den."

Blair swallowed hard, watching as Jack went back to the open limo door and struggled for a moment, before pulling Chuck out, supporting him by gripping his armpits tightly.

"Tell his teachers he'll be taking a personal day," he said, pulling his nephew inside.

As the two passed by Blair, she could smell the putrid smoke still clinging to him, mingling with the scent of hard alcohol and cheap perfume. She watched him disappear inside, feeling sick, cursing the fact that he had no one else in this world who would care for him the way she was at that moment– that their non-judging breakfast club was missing two vital members who should have given a shit about their best friend.

* * *

When Dan arrived at school, his thoughts were nowhere near Serena. He was thinking of his father's strange and suspicious chase after a painter (or sculptor?), Jenny's return to Constance, and Blair, and her preoccupation with Chuck's grief-ridden escapades over the winter break. But the tall blonde was forced into his thoughts when he walked into the building and saw her sitting right in his way.

"Hey," he said, as she stood and walked up to meet him. "You're back."

She smiled, and he could see she was concerned about something– she had her worried, concentrated, nervous face on– and it made his heart race. Her body was angled towards him in a way that suggested infidelity towards Aaron, but he wasn't sure Serena would do such a thing. Have sex with someone else's boyfriend at a wedding? Sure. Once upon a time, definitely. But now? He couldn't see her cheating on Aaron. And most certainly not with him, right now, in the middle of the school hallway.

"I just got back," she replied, and her voice was low and sweet. "Literally came here straight from the airport."

He nodded, shifting away from her slightly, a flash of Blair's thigh popping into his brain, followed by the feel of her curls between his fingers and the sound of his name, gasped from her lips.

"Well," he said, trying to keep his composure, and his pants from tightening. "You look tan."

She cocked a smirk, replying, "It _is_ summer in Buenos Aires."

"Oh right," he countered, and he remembered Blair's body against his, her mouth trailing down his stomach, her nails digging into his hot skin. "That's right– southern hemisphere– beautiful–"

"I broke up with Aaron."

He heard Blair screaming in his head, but he couldn't tell if it was from elation or outrage.

"W–When?" was all he could think to ask.

"In Buenos Aires," she replied. "Our second day there."

They stared at each other for a long moment, and Dan now understood why Serena was leaning toward him as if she was going to cheat on Aaron. It _wasn't_ because she was going to cheat, it was because she was interested in getting back together with Dan.

"Dan," she whispered. "I–"

"Serena," he said, stopping her. "I think I know what you're going to say–"

"I still have feelings for you," she said, cutting across him. "I realized in Buenos Aires that I didn't want to be with Aaron– that I wanted to be with you."

He felt his throat constrict at the innocent, hopeful look in her eyes, but he knew he would have to be somewhat honest with her.

"I'm sorry, Serena," he told her. "I'm sorry you broke up with Aaron and I'm sorry– I'm sorry I can't return these feelings."

Serena's face fell in degrees as the realization that Dan wouldn't be returning her affections dawned on her.

"Is it... Lexie?" she asked.

For a moment, Dan didn't even remember who Lexie was, then when he did he said, "No! No!" He shook his head, then stopped, saying, "But there is someone else."

After a beat, Serena asked, "Who?"

Without even thinking– because he knew he couldn't say it was Blair or simply say, 'I can't tell you' without some kind of faux explanation– he said, "You don't know her."

They stared at one another for a moment longer.

"I really am sorry," he said.

She nodded, looking forlorn, before mustering up a smile, turning on her booted heel, and disappearing down the hallway.

Happy New Year, indeed.

* * *

When Blair ran into Serena in the late morning, the blonde immediately strode up to her and threw her arms around her. It wasn't an I-had-an-amazing-time-in-South-America-and-missed-you-so-much kind of hug, it was more like a someone-died-or-broke-my-heart hug, and it made Blair's heart jump into her throat as she hugged her friend back.

"Serena," she said, holding her tightly, the blonde showing no signs of letting go.

"I missed you," Serena whispered.

"Not as much as I missed you," she replied, pulling away and taking hold of Serena's arms. "Jack finally found Chuck and– What's wrong?"

Serena frowned.

Blair remembered and said, "You and Aaron. I'm so sorry, S. Are you–"

"It's not Aaron."

Blair looked at her questioningly.

"I broke up with Aaron because..." she hesitated, glancing at her friend unsurely. "I broke up with Aaron because I think I still have feelings for Dan."

The brunette's heart fell through her feet.

"D–Dan?" she managed to choke back out. "Serena, no–"

"I know you don't approve," Serena said, cutting her off. "But you don't have to worry. Dan said he didn't feel the same way for me– that he's seeing someone else."

For a fleeting moment Blair wondered who, and then in a rush of relief, she realized it was herself. She also realized that part of her– a huge part of her– was relieved that Dan hadn't taken Serena back, no matter what kind of relationship he and she had formed since last year.

"S," Blair said. "I'm sorry." And she _was_ sorry. Not sorry that Dan had chosen her of his ex girlfriend, but sorry that Serena had to be hurt on her account.

Shaking her head, Serena snapped back, prompting, "You said Jack found Chuck? Is he okay?"

"Barely," Blair replied, happy to talk about something other than Dan. "I'm surprised he even got through customs– his body odor could have given half of Manhattan a contact high."

Serena groaned.

"I've been making myself sick trying to figure out where he was, what he could be doing, dragging information out of Jack– it's been a mess."

_And you've been dancing around Buenos Aires and deciding you still love Dan, while _I've_ been hauling ass trying to save our friend and _your_ stepbrother._

"Well, at least he's home now," Serena said. "Maybe Nate can talk him into coming around and straightening up again."

Blair stared at her, feeling hurt and anger turn in her stomach.

"I have to go to chem," Serena said, when the bell rang over them. "I'll catch up with you at lunch, okay?"

And she was left standing there as the familiar blonde hurried off down the hallway.

* * *

Dan knew the music room was empty last period. He also knew that Blair would have to walk past the music room, en route from her French class to her locker. So, he waited patiently by the open door after the bell rang, and watched for her figure as other students began streaming through the halls. When he finally saw her, he swiftly reached from the door, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her into the dark classroom, closing the door behind them.

"Dan!" she said. "What are you doing?"

"Serena," he said. "She–"

"I already know," she cut him off. "She told me this morning."

Dan watched her for a moment, before saying, "I told her I was seeing someone."

"I know," Blair replied, nodding.

"I love you," he said, as if insisting a point.

She smiled, the smallest, saddest smile, before saying, "I know," and giving him a gentle kiss on the mouth.

When she pulled away he knew for sure something was wrong, and with his hands still on her waist, he kept her close and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Chuck's back," she said after a beat.

Dan tensed up.

"He was in Bangkok," she told him. "And when he came back today he was stoned out of his mind– Jack had to drag him up to the apartment–"

"Jack?"

Blair looked at him, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

"Jack's still here?"

She nodded.

"Has he...?"

She shook her head, "No." She paused, meeting Dan's eyes before spilling. "I'm worried about him, Dan. I know he can be horrible and sleazy, but he's my friend– he's been one of my best friends since preschool– I'm all he has now."

Dan pulled her to him, wrapping his arms tightly around her as she buried her face in his chest, breathing deeply. "I know," he whispered to her. "I know."

"What do I do?"

"There's only so much you can do, Blair," he said quietly, his mouth moving just slightly against her hair. "You can't be held responsible for saving him."

Just then, her phone began to chirrup from her bag and she pulled away from Dan, snatching her phone up and out, and checking the text right away.

_Chuck suspended for smoking hash on school property. Where were you?_

Blair gasped.

"What?" Dan asked, looking into her face. "What is it?"

"Chuck was suspended for smoking hash at school," she replied, looking up at him. "Why was he even here?" Shaking her head, Blair stuffed her phone back into her bag and, to Dan, said, "I need to find Jack– I need to see if–"

"I'm coming with you."

Blair turned from where she had been ready to open the door, and said, "What?"

"I'm coming with you," he said again, walking up to her once more. "You're not doing this on your own."

Blair stopped and considered this. She considered what people would think if they saw her and Dan walking together, what Jack might say. She considered walking the halls and finding Jack on her own. She considered Serena and Nate's absences. And then she realized now relieving it was to think of Dan at her side, facing the worst with her, and she left the classroom, feeling stronger with him at her side, even if they didn't speak as they walked.

They found Jack standing by the front entrance of the school, just ending a call. Upon seeing them he smiled, saying, "Well, if it isn't my two favorite lovebirds?"

"Where's Chuck?" Blair demanded.

"I don't know," Jack said. "He disappeared after our meeting with Queller. He's got himself at least a week's worth of suspension– more, if he doesn't clean up his act."

Blair could have smashed his face in. "You don't _know_? How could you let him out of your sight after what's been going on? What's the _matter_ with you?"

Her voice was rising, as was her hysteria, and it was attracting the attention of passing students. Seeing this, Dan put a hand on her elbow discreetly, softly saying her name near her ear.

"What's the matter with _me_?" Jack replied. "I'm the one who's been chasing him all over the world upon _your_ request, Miss Waldorf. He may be my nephew but I've only been playing tag with his spoiled ass because _you_ won't let up."

"You're his only family, Jack," Blair countered, trembling from head to toe beside Dan. "He's your flesh and blood– You're _supposed_ to care."

"And why do you care, missy?" he asked. "You've got Walmart over here, why are you so interested in saving Chuck?"

Dan stepped forward, saying, "Hey–"

Blair put a hand to his chest, pushing him back, saying, "Dan." Turning to Jack, she said, "I'm interested in saving him because I, unlike you, care about him– I care about him enough to not let him run himself into the ground."

"He's doing a fine job of that anyway," he replied. "I'll text you if I find him again," he said, just as a towncar pulled up alongside the curb. "Walmart," he said to Dan, before passing them by and getting into the car.

Dan and Blair stared at the black rear of the car as it got further and further away, and then turned out of sight.

"Blair," Dan said quietly, looking at her.

But she didn't say anything in response. She felt too tired to say anything, so she just turned and slowly made her way back into the school; Dan, unsure of what to do, standing on the sidewalk in her wake.

* * *

He wasn't sure why he did it. Maybe it was because Blair hadn't answered any of his calls or texts ever since they had parted ways at school. Maybe it was because Serena's facebook statuses were hourly updates of melancholy and forlorn love lyrics. Maybe it was because his dad's strange behavior was finally getting to him. Probably, it was a combination of all three. Regardless, he went through his father's stuff to figure out what he was up to– whether or not he was starting up some kind of fling with Lily, or dating someone else, or, who knows, running a drug cartel out of his gallery.

What he found, however, sent his thoughts plummeting farther than drug cartels or new girlfriends could have done.

* * *

Serena had finally decided to care. She had taken the initiative, and the reins, and had spoken to Chuck while Blair was busy rearranging her head and organizing her tea for the Colony Club ladies. And now that Blair was busy, sitting up and sipping tea, trying to secure her position in the society of her dreams, Serena would not stop texting her.

_Found C at old club. he bought it again_

_B, this is bad_

_C throwing party tonight at club_

_At party, C a mess, high, drunk_

_Need you. SOS. _

But Blair couldn't do it right now. She had been chasing after Chuck all winter break. She had been fretting over him and trying to pull him up by his boot straps and save him, and had anyone helped her besides Dan? No. So Serena could handle this now. Blair needed to secure her future and she wasn't going to let anyone get in the way of that anymore.

"Miss Waldorf," one of the ladies in pastel said, holding her tea daintily. "You would be a fine asset to the Colony Club– someone from the younger generation to brighten up the club."

Blair preened as the ladies all smiled at her.

"Only," the woman continued, "we worry about the company you keep."

Her heart thudded in her chest, sinking slowly.

"Charles Bass– buying back that awful burlesque club and getting suspended from school– isn't he a friend of yours?" she asked.

"Serena van der Woodsen– you've also been spotted with her," another one of the women said. "She's been splashed all over the society pages– but not for charities and cotillions, mind you."

"And she dated that boy from Brooklyn," yet another one interjected. "The one with the grungy father in that band that Lily van der Woodsen's been seen with."

The ladies tittered and Blair, instead of feeling her heart sink, felt it expand with fury in her chest.

"That _boy_ from Brooklyn happens to be an amazing person," Blair spat. "And Serena and Chuck are my best friends."

"How unfortunate," the first lady replied, and the others tried to hide their satisfied smirks.

It was those two words that made Blair realize she had no interest in joining the Colony Club anymore. If you were going to stick your nose up at people who dressed poorly, fine; if you were going to talk gossip and parties and who can raise more money than whom for a charity, fine; if you were going to black list someone from attending a gala because they crossed you the wrong way, absolutely fine. But if these women were going to degrade the people she loved most in the world– the people who made up her family, the person she was currently in love with– she wasn't going to have anything to do with them.

"No," she said, standing up. "What's unfortunate is that I invited you here and played host to a bunch of women who don't deserve to lick the spilled tea from Chuck Bass or Dan Humphrey's shoes."

The ladies all looked scandalized, but Dorota silently cheered from the corner.

"You may finish your tea here, ladies, and Dorota will show you out," Blair said, grabbing her phone from the side table and hurrying for the elevator. "I don't have time for people like you just now."

* * *

Dan saw Blair streaking through the club like a ghost in black and diamonds. He called her name– because he had come to Chuck's ridiculous party to see her, and maybe talk to Serena– but she didn't hear him. Instead, she found the leggy blonde, and they began to converse in hurried voices that were drowned out by the DJ. He moved closer to them, hoping to hear what was going on– if Serena had also found out what he had stumbled upon– but the music was too loud and he couldn't get close enough without interrupting them.

"Where is he?" Blair was saying, and this is what Dan missed.

Serena looked around, her hair perfectly tousled and her face radiant, even in her state of stress. "I don't know," she said. "He said–"

"Are you looking for my nephew?"

Blair looked at Jack, who she was relieved to see, only because he might have seen Chuck. Dan watched from the sidelines, trying to put together the Serena-Blair-Jack triangle, before he settled on the common denominator: Chuck.

"Have you seen him?" Blair asked Jack urgently.

He smirked at her, shaking his head.

Serena cut in again, announcing, "He said something about taking the view from above– I guess he's going upstairs– but, B, he's been drinking so much–"

"He's not going upstairs," she cut her off, looking for the door that would lead up. "He has a thing for rooftops."

Dan followed as Blair cleaved her way through the crowd, Jack and Serena at her heels. He hung back as they pounded their way up several flights of steps, and then remained in the shadows of the rooftop's entrance, watching in horror as Chuck teetered on the building's ledge, Serena and Jack stopping feet from him, Blair hurrying to stand by his side on the ground.

"Chuck, what are you doing?" she asked, and Dan could hear her voice fine– it was stark against the cold, black quiet night.

"I'm laying waste to the world!" Chuck crowed theatrically, spreading his arms wide. "I don't need to worry about making Daddy proud, so why not do as I please?"

Serena stepped forward, saying, "Chuck–"

"And this is what you please?" Blair shouted, her voice demanding. "Hanging off the edge of a roof, drunk off your ass, while the people who care about you scream at you?"

He shrugged. "What does it matter?" he replied, and Dan almost missed it, his voice was so low. "Nobody wants me. My father never wanted me– never loved me. Nobody loves me–"

"Didn't you just hear me?" the tiny brunette shouted from beneath him. "We care about you! We love you– no matter what stupid things you do or what you may think– we love you."

He looked over at her, staring down at her as if trying to see her through a hundred layers of fog.

"I love you, Chuck," Blair said, and she knew it was true– she did love him, she loved him like she loved Nate and Serena, like she loved their strange familiar group. "And whatever you think you're going to do up there– whatever you think you need to do– don't do that me."

From the shadows, Dan shivered. It sounded a lot like a declaration of love– not entirely like a desperate plea for the love of your life to stop himself from suicide, but a declaration of love nonetheless. Dan had heard Blair say she loved him, had felt her under his fingers countless times in the last half a year, but how could he be sure if she only had feelings for him– if those feelings were completely and totally real? The doubt made him feel sick, made him hate himself, and he swallowed hard, leaning against the wall in the dark, still able to hear everything that was going on just outside.

"Please, Chuck," Blair said, reaching her hand up, giving him a look that was more impatient and nervous, demanding, than pleading.

He stared at her for a long moment, before taking her hand and sliding down from the ledge. When he was on his feet he stumbled, but Blair quickly righted him.

Dan peered back out from the shadows, saw Blair's hands steadying Chuck, saw Chuck stare into her eyes, and then saw Chuck fall against her, gripping her tightly to him.

Blair hugged Chuck back, but something inside her sank. This embrace, this show of vulnerability as he chipped and broke before her, was not from one friend to another. Chuck would not do this for Nate or Serena unless the world was literally falling down around him. He and Blair had been something once. That was why he was showing her this. That was why he was grabbing for her and holding her so tightly. But he knew when she said she loved him– when she asked him to come down from the ledge– it wasn't because she was_ in love_ with him, it was because she loved him and cared about him, right?

Somehow, she didn't think this had occurred to him.

After a labored struggle, Blair, Serena and Jack got Chuck into the back of the limo downstairs. Jack closed the door on Chuck and Serena, who was going to escort him fully to the apartment. Turning to her, Jack had one of his slick smirks on.

Dan, who had abandoned his watch as they had pulled Chuck across the roof, was nowhere to be found.

"What are you trying to do?" Jack asked her, his voice accusatory and hard.

"What–"

"Are you trying to play him?" he crossed her. "You tell him you love him so he won't kill himself, but really, you've got Raggedy Dan on the side?"

Blair felt as if he had slapped her across the face.

"He knew what I was saying– I didn't mean–"

"I know what you meant," Jack spat. "Don't toy with him."

She stared hard at him and said, "If the idea of me loving him is going to keep him from doing something stupid, why shouldn't we let him think that?" As the words left her mouth she knew they didn't taste right, but she also knew she was too far into this to turn around now. "And what do you care, you only came after him because I asked you to, remember?"

"What do you think he's going to do when he finds out the truth?" Jack demanded, getting very close to Blair's face. "The girl he loves has been lying, and she really loves the Brooklyn _rat_–"

"Don't," she snapped. "Don't talk about him like that."

Eyeing her with an evilness even Blair blanched at, he said, "I'm not going to let you screw with my nephew. You're right, he's my flesh and blood and _I'm_ all he has now."

Frightened, Blair stared, her breathing ragged. "Jack..."

"I'm not going to lie to him."

After a long beat, Blair said, "Jack, you can't tell him about New Years– you can't tell Serena or anyone or–"

"Or what?" he said slowly, calmly.

She stared back at him, unable to look away from his gaze.

"Good night, Blair," he said, and calmly strode up to the car, opened the door, and got in without so much as a glance back.

And as the limo drove away, and Blair was left standing alone, cold, on the sidewalk, she felt sure she was spiraling into a very, very tangled web.

* * *

**Author's Note:**DUN DUN DUN! Once again, thank you for sticking around with me through the long absence, you guys are honestly the friggin' best! I hope you liked the chapter! I promise the next one won't take a year and a half to get up! Thanks for reading!


	16. Gone with the Will

**Author's Note:** Hi. Long time, no update, huh? It was a crazy, hellish summer, and I've been trying to focus on school and work and everything. But I've been inspired once more by Dair (fingers crossed the writers get their shit together for the rest of the season, right?) so here is an update. Hopefully the next won't be so long in coming! Thank you for holding on and sticking with me! And, without further, ado: **_Gone with the Will_**!

** Gone with the Will**

So, Dan had a half-sibling somewhere that he didn't know about. A half-sibling that he shared with Serena and Eric, that Lily was apparently the mother of. It made his head spin, that his life could take this kind of a turn, and he wasn't entirely sure what to do about it. Usually, his life was made up of boring things, mundane things, average, everyday things. This though, this was an Upper East Side sort of scandal, a Gossip Girl entanglement and he was at a loss over how to cope. He would have liked to discuss it with his father, but he was still away in Boston with Lily because of this whole thing. He would have liked to divulge this information to Jenny, but she was wrapped up in her own little world of Constance and Eric and teenage troubles once more. He especially wanted to talk to Serena about it. They had been so close, after all, and they now shared a sibling, but it wasn't his place to tell her, and she wasn't actually speaking to him anyway– not since he had turned her down upon her return from winter break.

Blair was the first person he wanted to talk to about it– the only person he felt he could share it with without betraying someone or feeling guilty. The only problem was that Blair was so busy with Chuck, keeping his head above water, and stopping him from tail-spinning before the reading of his father's will, that Dan hadn't been able to properly talk to her since the night Chuck had nearly jumped off the roof of his club, and it scared him more than any secret, unknown sibling could.

After he had woken up and showered for school on Tuesday morning, he called Blair as he got dressed, hoping to catch her on her way to school.

"Hello?" she answered after several rings.

"Blair," Dan said. She sounded rushed, as if she was in motion and stressed. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," she sighed. "I'm on my way to The Palace– They're reading Bart's will today and Chuck asked me to be there."

Dan winced. He hadn't forgotten what had happened on the roof of Victrola. Of course he hadn't. He remembered Chuck's almost-jump and Blair saying she loved him in order to get him down. He hadn't asked her to clarify what she meant that night– hadn't even wanted to think she might mean anything other than a friendly kind of love– but the amount of time she was spending with Chuck, trying to put him back together, made him wary of what Chuck might think.

"And you agreed," was all he said in reply.

Blair sounded defensive when she replied, "Of course I agreed. He's one of my best friends– he needs support today."

Dan bit his tongue. He didn't want to be an ass hole and suggest Chuck get support somewhere else, but he hated the way Chuck was monopolizing her.

"Besides, Nate's coming too, so tame the monster of jealousy, Humphrey," Blair said, and he could hear the smirk in her voice.

Cracking just the slightest smile at this, Dan shook his head and said, "I'm sorry, Blair, I just– I worry Chuck will get the wrong idea– that he's still attached to you and this is only going to make it worse."

"We'll always be attached," she replied. "Me and Serena and Nate and Chuck– we've been together practically since birth. It's a weird connection. I can't change that."

Blair didn't want to talk about what Chuck may or may not think about her and her feelings for him– what wrong ideas he might have. The guilt would swallow her up and destroy her if she let it.

"I know," Dan said anyway. "I just– I miss you. When can I see you? I need to talk to you about some things."

"I'm not sure," Blair replied. "Can I text you? Jack just pulled up and he's walking over, and Nate should be here any minute."

"Oh, okay. Call me later–"

"I have to go," she said abruptly.

And without another word, the call ended.

* * *

After a verbal sparring match with Jack outside of The Palace, and the late arrival of Nate, Chuck met them in the courtyard and they all trooped inside to the Bass Industries suite. Nate and Blair were relegated to the waiting room, while Chuck and Jack disappeared inside with the lawyers. Sitting down and shedding her coat, Blair pulled out her cell phone and immediately thumbed a quick message to Dan.

_Sorry for being MIA. Will make it up to you. : )_

"So what's going on?"

Blair jumped a little when Nate asked her the question. Guiltily, she closed her phone and said, "What do you mean?"

"With you," Nate urged. "What's going on with you?"

Shaking her head, she said, "I don't know what you mean. We're here for Chuck–"

"I'm not talking about Chuck," Nate said. "I'm talking about the fact that even I can see you're somewhere else lately."

Blair swallowed, feeling her heart beating a little faster at this.

"You know I'm the last person to judge," Nate said. "I cheated on you with Serena and I dated Dan Humphrey's kid sister."

At the mention of Dan, Blair tensed.

"You can talk to me," Nate said.

While she wanted to tell him everything– lean on him, spill it all and confide in him, her Nate, still sweet and solid after everything they'd been through– she knew she couldn't. It wasn't that simple. She could never explain her relationship with Dan so that he'd understand, her lying to Serena and everyone about it, her telling Chuck she loved him so he wouldn't do anything else stupid, her tangled life and everything knotted within it. Instead, she bit back her confession and managed a tight smile for him.

"There's nothing to talk about," she said.

Nate watched her for a long time, and she felt herself fidgeting under his penetrating gaze that was still so soft and sweet.

Finally, the door to the suite opened and Chuck came out, with Jack trailing behind him. Blair and Nate stood and faced the pair.

"He left me Bass Industries," Chuck said, sounding stunned and cowed. "He wants me to head his company."

"Chuck that's great!" Blair said. If he focused on Bass Industries it might pick him up out of his depression, he might become his old self again.

He shook his head. "What if he's just waiting for me to fail? Waiting for my downfall from the grave?"

"He's not," she replied. "He believed in you, Chuck. You can do it– You can prove to him he made the right choice here!"

Chuck considered this, and then after a long moment he nodded. "You're right." And as Nate shook his hand and congratulated him and Blair smiled on, she caught sight of Jack's face, and the calculating look behind his steely eyes was anything but pleased.

* * *

**gossipgirl**

According to several sources, some strange behavior has been spotted throughout the Upper East Side these days. **Queen B** has been all a flutter for weeks now, sneaking around, disappearing, surprisingly M.I.A. for someone of her caliber. And now she's the perfect, doting beauty for our mourning **C**. **C** has also been a scattered mess, though his behavior is anything but fishy considering the death of **Daddy B**. And then we have our lovely **S**, who has been anything but bright and golden since her return from South America. Could it be the loss of her stepfather, her former stepbrother's erratic behavior, or the rejection of one **Lonely Boy**? And what has been going on with** Lonely Boy**? He seems even lonelier than usual– not to mention suspiciously preoccupied and involved in the UES world once more. Could he be in love with another UES girl? Is that why he rejected **S**? Could it be someone we know? What has gotten into everyone these days, and why am I not 100% in-the-know?

Get out your shovels, kids. I need some help digging the dirt on my chickadees– and who better to help me than those in the trenches?

Waiting for your finds with bated breath,

You know you love me,

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

* * *

To make matters worse for Dan, he heard all about the Gossip Girl blast he had been grouped into with Blair, Serena, and Chuck, from Jenny. Now people knew he had turned Serena down for another go at a relationship, and they were all shooting him dirty looks every time he walked down the hallway or crossed the courtyard between classes. Blair's periodic, apologetic or suggestive, texts throughout the day did not make him feel much better, and by the time the day was out he had lost his phone all together. He could only hope it didn't fall into the wrong hands because, not only did he have texts to and from Blair, he had texts to and from his father about the elusive and scandalous Van der Humphrey sibling.

* * *

"What do you want, Jack?" Blair asked, as soon as the elevator doors opened onto the penthouse to reveal the unwanted Bass himself.

"You," he said, smirking. She scoffed, and was prepared to tell him exactly when and how he could leave, when he strode around her and into the foyer, taking off his gloves as he went.

"I'm sorry," Blair said, striding after him with disgust painted across her face. "I must've missed the part where I invited you inside."

"Let me be more specific before you kick me out," he cocked another crooked half-smile, shoving his leather gloves into the pockets of his coat. "You're going to want to hear me out, sweetie."

"Don't 'sweetie' me, Jack," she countered. "What do you really want?"

"I want you," he paused suggestively, "to convince Chuck to give up his share of Bass Industries to me."

Blair let his words set in with the horror that surrounded them, blinking furiously– as if that could decode what she'd just heard.

"What?"

"You're the only one that can do it, Blair," Jack explained. "He'll listen to you."

Shaking her head, Blair said, "No! No, I won't. His father left the share to him, it's his."

_It's going to make him happy again_, she thought to herself. _It's going to take my guilt away_.

She bit her lip.

"You're going to do this for me," he said, as if driving the point home.

"No," Blair echoed, shaking her head and folding her arms, putting up a defensive stance. "Why should I?"

Jack paused, licking his smiling lips in pleasure. "Because," he said, "if you don't, I'll tell everyone– Chuck first– about your tryst with the Brooklyn dodger."

It took a moment for the dread to start in her toes and creep up her body. The shock factor of people knowing about her and Dan was wearing off– she almost didn't care at all if people knew. The only thing still linking her to the fear was the need to maintain her status, but mostly her desire to keep Chuck and Serena from harm. And she knew they would both be tremendously hurt if they found out she had been seeing Dan and lying about it– especially if they found out from Jack Bass.

"You can't d–do–"

"Can't I?" Jack countered.

He watched her squirm under his gaze and his triumphant smile. And squirm she did, not physically anyway, but emotionally she was writhing.

"Convince Charles to give me his share and no one will ever find out about you and Brooklyn," he said. "At least not from me anyway."

Blair felt sick. This was supposed to be her ticket out from under Chuck's need– supposed to bring him out of his depression, and free her from the duties that currently chained her to him as some kind of guardian. But what other choice did she have? If Jack told everyone Chuck would be in worse shape, and she would probably lose Serena on top of it all.

Jack continued to smile at her, and she felt herself slipping under a heavy blanket of guilt, dragging her down to shame and horror and nausea.

"Fine," she said, her voice barely audible. "I'll try."

"You'll succeed," he corrected, putting his hand out for her to shake.

She grudgingly extended her arm. He took her smaller hand in his, and kissed her knuckles. She yanked her hand away, and instinctively wiped it on her shirt.

"Don't want to play today?" he asked. "You'd rather slum it with Danny boy?"

Blair took one more look at Jack's sickly smile, feeling her stomach turn over.

Through clenched teeth, she snarled, "Get. Out."

Though he took his time replacing his gloves and walking over to the elevator, he did leave. And when the doors chimed shut, Blair hurried upstairs on shaking limbs, and just made it to her bathroom when she threw up crying.

* * *

_T_hat night, Chuck took Blair out for dinner. He said he wanted to thank her for being there for him for the reading of the will. Blair almost wanted to bite back at this and say, "I don't see you taking Nate out for dinner!" but she refrained. There was no use fighting it. She knew why Chuck was taking her out. He was happy– finally happy– his father was showing him that he believed in him, even if it was from the grave. He had inherited an empire. And Blair had technically screamed her love for him on a rooftop. Their fate was sealed.

It made Blair feel sick.

He ended up picking her up in the limo, dressed in a neat, pin-stripe suit, a purple button-up, and an intricate paisley, lilac and gold tie that she had always liked. His hair was slicked perfectly and he was oozing Drakkar Noir, filling up the back of the car with a cloud of cologne. Blair's own red dress clashed with his purple, and it didn't go unnoticed by her.

He took her to a restaurant near the Empire State Building. It was a ridiculously expensive (even by her standards) French place with celebrity clientele, a six month waiting list, and intricate, gold-infused décor. They sat at a table on the second floor, in a little alcove enclosed with tapestries, with low candles on the table and white roses between them. It was probably the most beautiful, romantic place anyone had ever taken Blair.

It made her want to flat-out throw up.

Without them even ordering, the waiter brought them champagne, and Blair's favorite stuffed mushrooms in truffle butter, and Chuck smiled proudly at his own romance and thoughtfulness.

Blair quickly and ceremoniously downed her first glass of champagne in one shot.

"I hope you don't mind that I ordered ahead for appetizers," Chuck said, his voice a low, husky drawl. His eyes were low and staring, and his smile was shadowed in the candlelight.

Blair shoveled a mushroom, dripping with butter, into her mouth and shook her head, unable to speak as she chewed.

"Blair, I wanted to take you out tonight to thank you for being there for me the past few weeks," she said. "It means a lot to me."

_Is this what I get for being a good friend?_ Blair thought angrily._ How is that fair?_

"Of course, Chuck," she replied. "You're one of my best friends."

She put another mushroom into her mouth whole, swallowing it down with more champagne.

Why don't you just guzzle it from the bottle, B?

The friend card didn't faze Chuck, and he continued to smile at her in that smug, calculating way of his.

"You know," Chuck said, examining his silverware and touching his fork thoughtfully, with an amused smile on his face. "I was sure you and Humphrey were doing the deed in secret," he continued, looking up and smirking wholly, "but I know now I was mistaken."

Part of Blair wanted to shout, "No, you're right! You're right!" if only to stop Chuck from thinking she loved him, but she knew she wouldn't.

"When you told me you loved me on that rooftop–"

"Chuck," she had to stop him, she could feel the mushrooms and champagne churning in her stomach, mixed with guilt.

"You saved my life, Blair," he whispered, his eyes locked on hers. She looked away.

The waiter approached them and asked if they were ready to order.

"I'll have the steak, rare," Chuck said, handing the waiter his menu. "Blair?"

She scrambled for a French dish she liked, though she hadn't glanced at the menu at all and wasn't even hungry. "Just the scallops, please," she told him, handing off her menu as well.

The waiter nodded, said, "Very good," and walked away.

After a beat, Chuck continued on his last note, saying, "And it's a good thing you did save my life. If you hadn't I never would have inherited Bass Industries– I would never be where I am right now," he smiled warmly over at her, and she knew it was now or never. She knew she had to make her move.

"Chuck, have you considered letting Jack take over Bass Industries instead of you?"

She felt like she had just dropped a bomb, she nearly winced as she waited for it to hit, for the after-effects.

Chuck's face fell for a fraction of a second, and then tensed up. "What?"

"It's just– You're too young to man a whole empire like that," she said, feeling her stomach clench.

He shook his head, anger slipping into place and he looked down, before glancing back at her, his eyes steely with disbelief. "What are you saying?"

After a beat, with her heart pounding in her chest, Blair swallowed and said, "I don't think you should do it."

"Wasn't it you who said I _could_ do it– that I could prove myself to him?" Chuck snarled, his words were so cold and clipped that Blair shivered.

Blair stared at him.

"What are you saying then?" he said.

She couldn't say anything.

"What are you saying?" he repeated. "Huh?"

After a minute she swallowed and said, "I don't think you can do it."

He stared at her, his mouth open in disgust, his eyes narrowed.

"You know you can't," she whispered.

Chuck looked down again, and then, slowly, he took his napkin off his lap and distractedly put it down on the table. "You're right," he said. "But I will."

Then, he stood up and left her at the table alone.

* * *

Dan was sitting at his laptop, trying to focus on a history paper, while Blair was being abandoned in Manhattan. Jenny was out with Eric, and his father was still chasing down lost offspring with Lily, so Dan was home alone, in a brutally silent loft. He stared at the blank, white document open in front of him and sighed. He couldn't think straight– couldn't stop thinking about Blair and Chuck, and his possible half-sibling– how exactly was he supposed to focus on the Civil War?

Suddenly, there was an insistent banging on the front door that made him jump. He got up and felt his heart racing his chest. He didn't recognize the pounding– knew they couldn't be produced from Blair's tiny fists, her pounding was of a higher pitch– and it worried him. Who could be trying to break down his door at eight o'clock at night?

Opening the door a crack, he saw that it was Serena. This confused him even more, though he knew he could handle her if need be, and he unlocked the chain from the door and opened it all the way for her.

Striding into the room and turning on him, her hair and coat fanning out around her like halos, she demanded: "Why didn't you tell me?"

His first instinct was, _Blair_, she found out about Blair, but instead of crumbling before her, he held out under the pressure.

"Tell you what?"

Serena thrust her phone at him and he took it, squinting down to see the Gossip Girl homepage.

_Hold onto your hats kids, one of Lonely Boy's secrets is finally out of the bag, and this one's a doozy. It seems **D** and **S** share a sibling. Is that why **Lonely Boy** turned our Upper East Side princess down? Perhaps. Or perhaps someone else is making **Lonely Boy** a little less lonely these days. I'll keep that secret for later though. You never know you're going to need a juicy scandal for a rainy day._

Dan's mind was caught on the fact that Gossip Girl probably knew about him and Blair. Which, priorities? but he couldn't shake it. If she knew about the half-sibling, then she knew about Blair too. And now Gossip Girl was going to hang it over his head until she felt like spilling the beans.

Immediately, Dan wondered if Blair had seen the blast. Then, he realized Serena was staring at him with fury and hurt in her blue eyes.

"You knew about this?" Serena demanded, taking her phone back, her fist clenched around it. "You knew about this and you didn't tell me?"

Sighing tiredly, his whole body drooped under the weight of just too much. "I'm sorry," he said. "I wanted to but my dad told me not to– it wasn't my secret to tell."

"Is that why you won't be with me?" she asked. "Because we share a half-sibling?"

"No," he replied, wanting at once to be alone in the loft again, when he had been drowning in dreaded aloneness just minutes before.

"What is this other secret Gossip Girl mentions?" she asked, and he had never heard her voice so shrill, she had never nagged him like this before.

Shaking his head, Dan lied: "I don't know."

There was silence between them for a long time, Serena staring at Dan with big, wounded eyes, accusing eyes, spoiled eyes that were not used to not getting their way. He wanted to apologize, but another part of him just wanted to tell her to accept it and move on, it wasn't always about Serena van der Woodsen and pleasing her. He had other responsibilities now. There were bigger, more important things going on.

"Dan, I've loved you," she said, her voice soft and pleading. "We owe each other more than this."

Dan shook his head, confused by this. "There are some things I don't owe you, Serena. These are two of those things."

For a moment, Serena looked at him in surprise, then her face faded into hurt, and she left the loft, closing the door quietly behind her.

Guilt immediately settled onto Dan's shoulder. He hadn't wanted to hurt her, and now he had. Terribly. But he also felt relieved. He didn't owe Serena these secrets, she had demanded them unfairly. Now she was gone. Now he could focus on what was right in front of his face, what was important.

He didn't go back to his paper then, instead he laid down on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

He wondered if Blair had seen the Gossip Girl blast yet.

* * *

It was past midnight when Jack called Blair.

She was sitting up in bed, trying to watch _My Fair Lady_, when she saw her phone light up from across the room. It had been lighting up all night, with texts and calls, and posts from Gossip Girl, but she had been ignoring it, unable to handle it. Now, inexplicably, she jumped up and saw that it was Jack, answering after a pause.

"What?"

"Always a pleasure to speak to you, Blair," Jack said cheerfully, and there were party sounds going on behind him. "I'm calling to tell you Chucky didn't hand over Bass Industries."

Blair felt her chest fluttering, with nervous bird wings though, not butterflies.

"But that's okay," Jack continued. "You did well."

"Wh– What– How–?"

"Charles is determined to run Bass Industries and do it well now," Jack said. "He's also determined to have fun while doing it– he feels he deserves it– so that's what he's doing right now."

Blair could only guess what this meant.

Without question, Jack explained, saying, "Right now, he's sitting with pretty with a couple of very sweet escorts, a bag of pretty-colored pills, and enough Grey Goose to inebriate a horse."

She took in a sharp breath. "Jack!"

"Once the board catches wind of this– and sees the photos to go with it, which I will provide of course– they won't let an immature mess of a seventeen year old run their company," Jack told her gleefully. "They'll kick his ass out and I'll be given the position. Nice work, Miss Waldorf. Always a pleasure doing business with you." And he hung up.

Blair dropped her phone onto her dresser and considered what she had just done. Not only had she destroyed Chuck's perception of her belief in him and their relationship, she had also sent him plunging into his worse habits once more, and lost him his chance of happiness with Bass Industries. She had potentially ruined Chuck's life– for the time being at least. Chuck, who might be skeevy, but had always been one of her best friends, Serena's step-brother, Nate's best friend. Just to protect herself. Just to give Jack his way so she could save her own neck.

Without warning, Blair heard the elevator open and close downstairs. She ignored it, thinking it was just Dorota. Then, after a minute, Dan appeared in her open doorway, and she fell apart.

"Blair, I tried to call but… Blair?"

She was crying, fast and hard. Dan crossed the room and took her into his arms immediately.

"Blair? What is it?" he asked, looking down at her, where she was curled up against his chest, sobbing into his shirt and jacket like he was the only thing that could save her from this travesty– though he didn't know what that was. "What _happened_?"

Blair had never been so glad to see Dan, so relieved, and she fell apart before him, cracked open like an egg and oozed tears and pain.

"Blair," Dan said, his voice so gentle and compassionate and concerned that it made her cry even harder. She didn't deserve someone as good as Dan Humphrey, and it hurt. "Talk to me," he cajoled quietly.

"I did something bad," she managed to tell him, through endless tears and a gap in her sobbing. "I did something terrible. So terrible."

Dan couldn't get any more out of her, so he just held her for the rest of the night as she cried and cried and cried. And her tears and panic frightened him more than any threat or scheme she had ever put together had, and he vowed to fix whatever this was, hurt whoever had caused this, and he forgot all about his own issues in the process.


End file.
